Sad grandaughter

Any form of bullying is horrible, girls sometimes seek the friendship of older girls as their hormones and bodies change.

It also happens with boys but normally a few years later.

Body functions changes can be very confusing and the need to be able to discuss them with parents can be very difficult. Therefore there is a tendency to seek peers views, that sometimes result in younger friends suddenly being outside that circle, especially with girls.

My DiL is going into school after half term. If she doesn't get a good response from the class teacher then the Headmaster is next. How can it be right foe a little girl to face rejection every day?
If all else fails there may be a change of school next September

My son had a similar scenario when he started secondary school, something I didn't think happened with boys and it was upsetting.
The answer was to find new friends. He never was friendly with the old set again.
I would only change schools as a very last resort. I would encourage new friendships and to do things outside school. They are very fickle at that age, they may all be friends again next month.

Hi BBbevan this is, as has been said, very common. But the teacher and school should be doing something to try and help matters. When your DIL goes to see the teacher she should make sure she is clear about what she wants. I would suggest she asks:
1, What measures the class teacher has taken already
2. What she is doing to a) make the other girls aware that their behaviour is not acceptable
b) positively help your DGD build other friendships
c)ensure that all the class recognise that this behaviour is unacceptable and can be described as bullying
There are lots of ways to develop and nurture good relationships including games, role play, and discussion. Simply saying "find other friends" is not enough. She should ask for a regular report on the situation.

For anyone interested Margaret Atwood's book Cat's Eye has the best description of how girls behave I have ever read.

At our local school they have a bench in the playground where children go and sit if they are on their own and want someone to play with. It is a rule that if someone is sitting there then you must go and help them. The person on playground duty makes sure of that. It sounds a bit crude but it does seem to work and fosters a sense of community.

Thank you Trisher, I will pass on that advice to my DiL.

Good advice from trisher, but the head teacher should definitely be told too.
It's a heartbreaking problem, we've been through it.

luckygirl what a lovely idea.

Just another thought I did have this problem with one year I taught where a group of about 5 girls seemed to spend most of their time either being totally friends or split into groups with one or more girl cut out of the group completely. The targeted girl was always changing, but for varying periods of time they were total outcasts. We did a lot of work with the class and small groups and I hope we resolved some of the issues. The parents were lovely and some couldn't believe how difficult their daughter was being. I think sometimes girls in a group behave much worse that they ever would on their own.

Lucky-girl I like the bench idea. One junior school I worked at had a bus stop but the bench sounds less obvious and easier for shy children to use.
A secondary academy had several pupils (volunteers) in Y7 wearing special ties to show that they were 'befrienders' for anyone finding themselves alone in the playground.