What would you do?

Thank you all for your kindness and insight. My DD is coming in 5 weeks and we will look into booking then. Spring BH is when we will be considering. Son coming later today so I will "collar" him on my own and have a good chat.

You need that holiday annsixty. You need to keep your own strength up, and take a bit of enjoyment when you can.

Exactly what the others have said! And I know you would benefit from the break. Things could have changed by the time the holiday comes and your husband could benefit from respite care by that stage. Book it!

JBF my H is about 4 years into his illness but fortunately it is slow deterioration . His short term memory is the worst aspect along with extreme anxiety. He could not shop or cook and he now doesn't know where things are kept in the cupboards etc. physically he is very fit but has become reduced to watching TV for hours at a time but doesn't know what he has watched. He will be 80 in March. A little amendment here , it is nearly 5 years since I had a holiday in the sun. We went with family to Wales just over two years ago and away from his comfort zone it became apparent how seriously we should take his problem.

I agree with other posters. Take your son up on his offer and have a break with your DD. Living with a dementia sufferer is so hard, you deserve a break and your DD needs you as much as your H.

Go!

I am in agreement with the above posts. Let your son stay; being on his own with his Dad might help him to understand the nature of the illness better. You really should grab this opportunity to have a proper break and to spend time with your DD and her family. Please do it!

annsixty, I think I'd be tempted to let your son move in for the week. You say he's not sympathetic to his dad's needs, but could you go through all of these with him and explain how your DH's behaviour may change according to how he (DS) interacts with him?
You need a holiday and so do your DD and her children. Perhaps it would be a good idea to go ahead and give it a try. x

I think let your son stay. Drum into him what the needs of his dad are. If you don't mind me asking, how far advanced is your DH's altzeimers?