This must be so hard for you grannyactivist. It is so very difficult to separate our feelings into 'what we want' and 'what we want for our loved one'. Thankfully many of us aren't presented with this awful scenario - decisions are so often out of our hands by nature simply taking its course.
I hope there is a good resolution to this - perhaps, as others have said, she will have a change of heart if she's given some space, and some time to think things through.
Hugs for you, and wishing you peace and strength to deal with whatever the outcome is 
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