Irrational worries!

Hi Jen sorry, I am not a service Mum [or Grandma] but understand your concern.Ideally, none of us want our sons/grandsons, to be in the Army and have to go and fight somewhere in the world.However, this is your son's chosen profession, and presumably he didn't join up just for the ceremonial duties.He will be proud of his regiment and of his involvement. I don't think that we will get involved [not as boots on the ground, as they say] but having a soldier son, you can't rule out any future 'engagements' that he may have to take part in. How does he feel? If he thinks he would not want to kill or take part in a war, perhaps he should now be having second thoughts about the Army? If he is happy to be the armed forces, then you have to stifle your feelings and back him up all the way.

It isn't an irrational worry by the way, far from it! I have a friend who's son is an army captain [was in Iraq and Afghanistan] and she worried all the time, but didn't let him see it as she thought it would add to his burden of duty.

I understand how you feel, Jen. We all breathed a huge sigh of relief when my nephew returned from different tours in Iraq and Afghanistan and his time in the army was coming to an end. He's a bomb disposal expert and has been through some hairy experiences. Now, he's been recruited to go back into the same job as a trainer with Iraqi bomb disposal teams, so he's back in the same situations in an even riskier role. His parents are incredibly proud of him, his wife and children very supportive, and we all hope he stays safe - he chose this life and he's good at what he does, but it doesn't stop us quietly wishing he did something else.

I come from an army family - Father, both brothers and two nephews all served in the Regular army and the fear when they are on active service is never absent. There is always a sense of pride too in that these are brave and strong men who are willing to pay the ultimate price of joining up.

jen67 I understand how you are feeling and can only say "be strong for him".

You're not being irrational Jen, you're being a Mum. My son thought of 'signing up' at one point and I felt that I had to go along with it and support him as it was his choice. In the end he decided against it, completely of his own volition.

Do you know any other Army mums you can chat with in person? Probably not, as you're on here, but perhaps someone on GN will pm you and chat.

Thankyou ladies for your messages ...so nice to hear what you all have to say and yes I will have to be strong for him as I wouldn't want to add to his burde, you are quite right. Thanks again.....you're all great!

Jen67 You are not being irrational at all I had both my boys in Irag at the same time & one of them was a front line medic so my heart in my mouth for many many months I know exactly how you feel.If it is any consulation I do not think it will come to the terrible times we have witnessed so put it to the back of your mind.
PM me any time you feel you need to.

Thankyou so much Glammanana, really appreciate that.Gosh, I can't imagine how you coped......

Nothing at all irrational about this worry. In fact it would be odd not to worry in this situation.

Definitely not irrational. I do hope that your fears prove to be groundless and your son is not involved.

I have a son in the army jen and your are not being irrational. I could slap Liam Fox former defence secretary and as for Tony Blair I daren't say anything because I'd be banned from posting. I have messaged you but I am going to tell you just what you want to hear. My son has been to Iraq and Afghan many times. I have worried my self sick..all for nothing he has returned home well and unscathed. The probability is that your son will be fine, all will be well. Feelings are just that feelings not facts. Don't worry about how you'd cope you just would for your boy. It's what we mothers do and we do it well. ((((((Hugs))))))

I don't know why Liam Fox's opinion was sought anyway. He behaved very badly when he was Defence Secretary, taking his former flatmate and best man (who had not received security clearance) to high level and sensitive overseas meetings. He finally stood down after admitting that the line between his public duties and private life had been "blurred".

It always amazes me how people who have behaved improperly in office pop up some time later on the TV to make pronouncements on serious matters, such as the present serious situation in Iraq.