What should I Do?

Anniebach - I wouldn’t take on a young pup. I currently have the equivalent of post natal depression. My pup is 9 weeks old. I got her a week ago. Nothing prepared me for the sheer hard work of a new puppy. She is a weeing/pooing/biting machine. She is getting the hang of garden toileting but is also uprooting and eating little bulbs etc. When indoors the minute my back is turned she has toileted on the carpet not on her training mat. I love her to bits but if I could give her away for six months I would and I feel so guilty even feeling that especially as I so wanted her now that I am in my mid 60s retired and lonely. When she cuddles up I feel loving towards her, but if I were you I wouldn’t take on a new puppy unless you can take the hard work in your stride.

Annie I agree with whoever said you should wait. The advice when moving to a new home is to not change anything until you have lived in it for 6 months. Losing a daughter is a much greater upheaval than losing a dog. Give it time. When the right time comes you will just know.

I think at the moment you should just keep on keeping on and let everything else just look after itself.

Annie you can talk through things on here no problem, we understand what is happening and will try to help. Take your time and try to relax, the weight will creep up and then you can think of your new dog. Take care and don't try to rush things

There are also rescue puppies where a pregnant bitch has come in - so a puppy and a rescue dog need not be mutually exclusive.
You will know in your heart Anniebach

I should not have started this thread, so sorry.

It is never going to happen

I think you've made your decision. After all, you have a doggy vacancy! It's just about the timing.

Perhaps cut back a bit on trying to eat much more ?, take it more slowly. Thank you x

It's probably a cumulation of all you've been through Annie and exhaustion from lack of sleep. Try to have an early night. I do hope you manage to get some better sleep tonight x

And I would gladly accept it. Think I tried too hard today, feel sick ?

I know you don't want a rescue dog for the various reasons you've said - mainly that it might affect Lottie but equally a pup might be too much for her to handle too. As your daughter started the rescue centre do the staff there know you? I wondered if you'd be able to take Lottie round and introduce her to possible buddies to find out how she would get on with any of them. The time to do this obviously has to be when you've put on some weight and I agree that it would be very difficult to send one back after giving it a new home. My FIL did this - the dog was devoted to him as soon as he arrived but he tripped over him and broke his wrist a few weeks later and as he was terminally ill (FIL) he said he couldn't cope. We knew nothing about it until it was all done but my BIL who had to take the poor dog back was very upset. There are so many older dogs out there looking for new homes -some who have been in care for so long. We have had 3 wonderful rescue dogs over the years - one was 7 when she came to us - they gave us many years of love and devotion. There is no rush to make a decision though - the main thing at the moment is for you to get your strength back and gain that weight. I'd gladly give you some of mine if it was possible

Did you ask for any tips on Jane Clarke's thread, Anniebach?
www.gransnet.com/forums/webchats/a1242045-Q-A-How-to-eat-for-a-brighter-happier-wintertime

She may have some ideas

If I do it will be a girl and it will be some time, a stone is a lot of weight to gain

I think, if it was me, I would wait a little while then opt for a female dog, not a male who may want to be 'top dog'.

I think you're wise to wait till you've gained some weight. You will feel a little stronger and more able to cope with the demands of a puppy then. In the meantime the decision to get one will give you a focus in your life and a reason to do your utmost to get some nourishment inside you.
I wish you all the best in this new venture Annie. You're clearly wonderful with dogs and having two of them to keep each other - and you - company will go a long way to making you feel your life is little more normal.

Lottie could be bullied, she had two Mums with my two Westies, she may want the Mum role now, all my other dogs have mothered my new puppies .two adult dogs brings the risk of the need to be top dog. B

Crafting, I have to put on a stone .

I have retired from political and charity work , don't go on site now so have no need to venture far from the bungalow, I will not go into town again, have my garden, quite large, lawn and three paved areas, we play ball there. If something cropped up and I had to leave for a couple of hours there is the crèche and there is a retired vetinary nurse who will dog sit in the home.

I am content at home with dogs and have a dog walker for Lottie. I love dogs far too much to put my needs before theirs?

I got our last dog from a kennels (not breeding kennels) because his owner, who was very elderly, had died and he had been in there for several weeks while the family decided what to do about him. He was a young dog rather than a puppy at the time and had been a bit spoilt, but was very intelligent and soon adapted to our household.

Anniebach.....just go and get a puppy! The only problem you have is....what breed!

I see you dont want a rescue, but what about considering an older dog whose owner can no longer care for it? Much less work than a puppy. If you do decide to get another dog then perhaps contact local rescues and discuss with them what your specific requirements you have. You can always say no, but surely worth a try, bearing in mind all you have to offer.

I thought Lottie was an old dog - thinking back to the post you wrote when Honey died, Anniebach. I must have got that wrong.

Can you not just focus on Lottie while you are still in a period of grief and recovery?

Could I ask, would a puppy put any restrictions on your day to day activities? i.e do you have commitments that would cause the puppy to be alone for hours or, stop you doing things because you had to be at home with the puppy?

Lottie is only 6 which means she is not too old and could do with someone to play with. How does Lottie get on with other dogs generally?

How much weight do you need to put on before you could get a puppy (don't mean to be personal) ?

Do you have a garden that the dogs could play in without you having to tale them for a walk?

Final question, what sort of puppy are you going to get?

Christine, I will not make any decision until i put on a stone in weight, if it was just for me without thought for the dog I could decide now. But thinking about it is something to think about , a future .

I would wait a while before making a decision Annie you have had such a lot of upheaval and sadness in your life recently its not the best time for this.

A new dog may help occupy you but you also need to think of the puppy's future, you know its a big commitment.

Cherry, maybe is rather optimistic, I will settle for will definitely .

BlueBelle, I did think of it but decided no for several reasons. A rescued dog does not need the possibility of being rehomed again, the dog wouldn't know but I would, I can't do guilt and my elder daughter started a rescue and rehoming charity some years ago , still going strong . So many had problems and selfish I know but this home needs laughter .

Merlot, I have house trained fifteen puppies, twelve I kept until they died, three my daughters borrowed but never gave back. My physiotherapist tells me to walk around the house frequently, I get absorbed with GN or scrabble and forget too move off the sofa for hours,

kitty, yes I want one but often this has been discussed on GN and I am unsure. Truth is I long for one and to see Lottie react in which ever way she does is better that her sleeping most of the time.

There is a little furry animal out there just waiting to be given a warm home, bed and food.
In return he/she will love you unconditionally.
and maybe pee on the
floor

Why a puppy why not a fully trained, calmed down a wee bit older dog Annie it wouldn’t necessarily be bad for your other dog
When my cat got killed I thought I d get a kitten to keep my other cat company ( not straight a way but soon after) she hated it, got really messed up with it’s playfullness and was really grumpy was hissing and cuffing it I gave it time to settle down but she never got used to it the got really violent and I had to find the kitten a new home in the end