No - I am NOT an Xmas "Pity Project!"

Margs, I object to the 'enforced jollity' rule too. Sorry, I do!

I have to go to my daughter's place (no choice really) slap on a smile and look happy, play with the grandkids, eat a lot (despite being in pain) and wait for the kindly lift home - a welcome escape from noisy kids and far too much food!

Thank Heavens, I have a little dog who can't be left for long. Therefore, a long day or overnight stay are completely out of the question. Isn't that great? The only time we took her out in my daughter's car, she threw up into that socket where the gear stick sits - such a clever girl!

Mohhie57

Do not panic. You can ask for money or even ask if they can bring some of the food with them.
Don't be afraid or embarrassed to say that your budget doesn't stretch that far.
I hope the day goes well for you and you have fun.

Moggie

so sorry above post meant for you.

I used to know a couple -both had been in the Catholic Church - one as a nun, the other - a monk. However they did not like the Christmas thing at all and always used to go to Agadir for 2 weeks then and loved it.

Yes of course it is down to the individual. Some people prefer to be on their own, some are lonely and do not. It is not compulsory to enjoy Christmas but I do enormously, it is a magical time of year. It does not sound as though the invitation was put very well but shows that they are thinking about you.

Clever dog indeed Hetty ?.

Not sure it does Judy more about making themselves feel better.

Clever dog Hetty we find that four hours is the maximum time our dogs can be left alone
so unfortunately we have to leave - yay !!

Margs

See how kind they are? They even invited the cops round for pre-Christmas drinkies and a little cavorting....

I do have neighbors like that, a whole street of them in fact.
They often send their police friends in helicopters to hover over my house and make sure I'm all right.

Margs - Well, I suppose it is a nice gesture , but you don't need to feel ungrateful by refusing their invitation, especially if they are such unsavoury characters! Who needs to share Christmas with people like that?

Just because you’re in a room full of people, doesn’t mean you’re not lonely. Nothing worse than having to struggle to make small talk, or worse, join in silly party games.

But I guess their hearts are in the right places, you could have worse neighbors.
And to be honest, if they are a bit dodgy, it’s probably best to keep on the right side of them.

I suppose your second post gave us more of a reason why you don’t want to go Marg!

Your post made me laugh BradfordLass!

You know Marg, all you need to say is it's very kind of you but no thankyou. I have other plans. I have no idea why police were at their door, it may not have been anything that was their fault. Kindness and good manners cost nothing.

for those who are fit and able to get out, and would otherwise be alone, or wishing to avoid being co-opted into others' gatherings, that they could perhaps help out at community lunch event.
these are often organised by churches, pubs even, to spread some cheer to people who otherwise could not afford or are not able to prepare a xmas lunch.
then you could say, no thanks, I'm busy at the salvation army citadel, helping with the outreach day there.
this is a good way to avoid unappetising relatives' events too.

Perhaps Boris and partner have invited someone who lives alone on Downing Street. Perhaps the neighbour is saying 'I don't want to go there -the Police were at their door the other night after a load of shouting '

However dodgy the neighbours, however clumsy the invitation, do consider that it was kindly meant.

This is a difficult one. Many people are lonely at Christmas and would like to share the day with others. Then there are those who are happy to be at home I count myself among the latter. I have a wonderful family we spend lots of time together throughout the year. If asked they will tell you that mum spends Christmas day chilling out with the dogs and doing nothing. It's the one day in the year where no one bothers you it can be spent in a track suit enjoying the peace and quiet. We all get together the Sunday before Christmas for a long walk with crazy children and a pack of manic dogs a relaxed meal and fun. I am lucky they all respect my wish to be with my animals chilling out. Each to their own.

bingo12 … Sorry but the thought of an (ex?) Nun and Monk partying in Agadir gave me a fit of the giggles !!

Margs … your post does sound quite judgemental. Can you really know that you are being invited for the reasons you suggested?

Bradfordlass … with a sense of humour like yours you'd be welcome anywhere!!!!

Maybe Margs is wiser than we thought.

You know how people say, 'We're having turkey for Christmas'?

Perhaps these police-inducing neighbours who seem to be on the edge of mayhem and riot have been telling people, 'We're having our old neighbour for Christmas.' ?

Bit tough and bony don't you think Bradfordlass? Now if they were asking me...…………!!

Namsnanny Oh, I don't know, marinaded in a little booze and garlic........

I can well understand you wanting to be alone and even enjoying your own company but surely it’s kind they asked

You say there is usually an invitation from at least one of the neighbours You don’t mention a particular invitation .. this year then suddenly in your second post it’s the neighbours from hell next door with police cars screeching up, Perhaps one of them got hit on the head with a flying turkey what ever next a cannabis growing plant two doors up
The nun and monk in Agadir gave me a chuckle you couldn’t make it up (or could you)

Enjoy your Christmas however you spend it Margs and think kindly if anyone that is kind to you even if you perceive it as pity

Apart from my entire – and, at the time, quite extensive – family and their pets – I have invited neighbours, old friends who would otherwise be on their own, new friends who would otherwise be on their own, and my daughter's friends who would otherwise be on their own to Christmas lunch. I also always invited neighbours for drinks and mince pies on Christmas morning. If people accepted my invitation, I was always delighted; if they didn't, I simply accepted the fact that they didn't want to come or were going somewhere else. Complacency – smug or otherwise – was never my emotion; just pleasure in sitting around a dining – well, two dining – tables together enjoying traditional Christmas fare and good company. Interestingly, my guests never went home early. However, I never used that rather loathsome comment about being lonely.

I feel just the same, Margs.

Xmas jollity is most suitable for extraverts. I am an introvert.

If a neighbour patronised me I'd try very hard in the interest of keeping the peace to allow myself to be patronised , and I might even enjoy myself.