passed away

Thatbags the post concerned said:

It's up to everyone to choose their own way of expressing death. If the old lady next to me refers to her beloved cat passing 'over the rainbow bridge' so be it. If someone phones me in distress to tell me her father has just 'passed away' that's fine and if I get a call to say my aunt has just 'died' that's ok too.

No one up to that point had said anyone should not use the word they wanted to. The poster was attacking a mirage. Then to ask what it was to do with anyone else what someone says was also illogical. The OP asked our own, personal opinions and we replied with what we, personally, liked and disliked up to the point of this post and for all the rest of the thread no one but no one has dictated what other people should say. So why put up such a post? You asking if I agreed with the post is also illogical and, I expect, purely mischievous. I have said, something like five time by my counting, that I believe we can have opinions on these words but that, in the case of a bereaved person you would, of course, listen to what they say and reply appropriately so why, other than to bully one person, are you still asking the question?

You may read that post as less aggressive than I do but I am perfectly free to say I do not wish to be sworn at and the post containing "WTF" included words only I had said so it is reasonable I was included in the last sentence. If you, or anyone else tries to belittle my feelings by saying it doesn't matter or it isn't swearing I believe am also perfectly free to stand up to this sort of bullying. That is all it can be because it serves no other purpose.

-reasonable- reasonable to assume

Nobody was sworn at. Someone swore. There's a difference, which it would seem you understand as you say the poster was attacking a mirage. So, logically, she wasn't attacking a person or persons, just an idea. That's allowed.

I honestly can't remember why, at the time of the WTF post, I thought it was a reaonable, if exasperated, thing to say. I might go back and have a look. Then again, I might not.

Enjoy your outrage.

Thatbags

Exactly, thatbags. What a load of self-righteous indignation about a perceived slight which no one else finds the least bit justified.

it's a case of Much Ado About Nothing.

Wow! Just back after a lovely week in Montenegro and the first post I read has developed from an innocent enquiry about terminology for ceasing to live into accusations of bullying! Personally I can't see where the bullying comes in, but hey ho - each to their own......

I see you now agree that these three initials do indicate swearing now thatbags so you have moved a little.

I have never said that the poster only swore at me. She was obviously swearing at all those who had expressed an opinion and very definitely included me by quoting from my post.

So, we now have someone swearing, you agree, aimed at a group of people who have offered an opinion they were asked for. Swearing I would add, using a word the vast majority of the population would avoid using with some one they didn't know and many would never use. Or has this word become so commonplace that you do not care if it is used and used in an aggressive way?

Just throwing it in there is no excuse. The poster asked me why I felt she was being aggressive and I explained that it was the swearing. If I brushed my trolley past someone I did not know in a supermarket and they turned and said these three words I would be anticipating their next remarks to be aggressive too. They could turn round and say "sorry, I've been having a bad day" but I would not be expecting that. This is why I "heard" the posters subsequent remarks as aggressive. You may not be in the least affected by such things; it may be common parlance all around you as may be aggression in general but, as I have said, not in my world.

If I am being pedantic I am a least doing it in the right place. I am not indignant, self-righteous or otherwise. I may be the last granny in the world defending my right not to be spoken to like this but I will continue to defend it and to defend my right to that opinion.

Its an abbreviation in common usage although clearly not in your vicinity gracesgran Its most usually used in txt type communication/Facebook/Twitter etc. Another one is "whatever".
Laters
Jane

I've always thought it was swearing. I just don't automatically think that swearing matters. I don't and didn't think it mattered in this instance since it was 'aimed' at an idea, not people, and, as jane10 said, it's often used in just such situations where someone else might use "what on earth". No-one has to use it if they don't want to and anyone who wants to be offended about its use can be. Maximum freedom all round. Gotta be good.

Now, if were to tell you fuck off this thread, which I would never do, that would be rude swearing. I'm sure you see the difference

I used to tell the cubs, when I found them swearing at each other, that it was okay to say fuck if you drop a hammer on your toe, but it's not okay to rudely tell someone to fuck off. Eight year olds understand that concept, the huge difference between the two uses.

I agree with you thatbags, but I can't help wondering what the parents thought, when 8 year old Johnny went home and told them that Akela said it was OK to use the word 'fuck'.

Good luck getting that one past thatbags! Re that word (I'll refrain from using it here) its just a word , a sound, marks on paper, why do we consider it so bad? If it helps people express themselves to vent emotion then its much better than hitting someone or some other form of physical violence. I've always been intrigued at there being 'bad words'.

I doubt the cubs did that, indinana. Never had any complaints from parents anyhow, about anything at all, and the cubs kept coming.

I feel the same about 'bad' words, jane10. I rarely use 'swearing' expressions but their existence and their use by others is intriguing, as you say.

Jane10 the words 'fuck' and 'fucking' have been used many times on here in the past. As thatbags says, as long as you're not telling someone to 'fuck off' there's no reason to get all het up about it (not you, of course!).

I don't use it myself very often either, just on the rare hammer-dropping occasion!

As for getting anything 'past', my careful qualifying remarks and the conditional "if" are, of course, deliberately used to sanitise that particular usage, to make it clear that I am talking about a word and its usage, not abusing anyone.

Excellent thatbags. You may be interested to hear that we used to programme in these so called bad words to touchtalkers that people who were unable to speak could use. They were very popular. Our main problem was what icon to use on the touchpad for non readers!

That would make an interesting new thread, Jane. You might get all kinds of graphics sent as suggestions.

Worrying thought Elegran . Definitely not for this thread though. Perhaps it should be left to -Rest in Peace!

My three year old granddaughter's much loved Gran died recently. She sat on my knee while my daughter in law explained to her that Gran had died and she would not see her again. The wee one accepted this and when she now says' My Gran died ' she usually has a memory to share of things they did together. We didn't really think about it as a family but I can see how it could confuse a child if expressions like 'passing over' or 'falling asleep' are used.

I had a neighbour who would say that she had 'lost' someone. My initial thought was to say: how careless.

Strange that [Hermia46] has made no further comment after opening the thread....or did I miss it?

Sorry always forgetting its * not [ for bold names!!