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Body Image and Self-Esteem

(36 Posts)
Mamie Wed 30-May-12 10:03:03

What do people think about the news reports today into body image and self-esteem? Whilst I can see the value of discussion about this in the curriculum for Personal and Social Education, I am not sure that schools can do much to change things in the face of relentless media pressure to be thin and beautiful.

nanaej Wed 30-May-12 10:18:54

Think you are right mamie once it is on the curriculum it will be also become the school/teacher fault if the problem does not go away!

Good schools will already be promoting positive attitudes towards body image and self-esteem. If the government was really serious it would start trying to tackle the complete imbalance of images in the media! That would make the biggest difference.

absentgrana Wed 30-May-12 10:31:00

How much time is there in the school day? How qualified do teachers feel about tackling body image and self-esteem – apparently this is an issue with some children as young as five?

I have to admit I sigh when I hear the words "self-esteem". Self-confidence seems important to me and I certainly don't want people, including children, to hate themselves, but what is self-esteem all about – especially when you are too young to have achieved anything worthwhile? All this boosting children's self-esteem is surely going to mean that the real world is going to come as a terrible shock once they are out there. No employer gives a fig about a teenager's or twenty something's self-esteem when interviewing him or her for a job, for example.

Distorted body image is, of course, a serious concern and a very complex issue.

kittyp Wed 30-May-12 10:44:23

I'm not sure that this is something for a school lesson in any case...shouldn't these messages be enforced far more naturally at home? There are - of course - exceptions to every rule - but bringing up a child to feel loved and secure and good about themselves will go so much further than a teacher in front of a class of 30 children.

I agree with absent that it needs to be a natural thing - if you reinforce that a child is great as long as they try their best then that's one thing. But to tell a child that they are brilliant/beautiful/talented when they are clearly not will only make things worse when reality dawns.

And yes - with the body image...instead of having it drummed into them at school surely better to outlaw this ridiculous airbrushing so children aren't being fed impossible and unreal images to start with?

gracesmum Wed 30-May-12 10:56:13

As an example of self-esteem gone wild, you only have to look at "The Apprentice", don't you? I am afraid it is not only children who are fed unreal images and have body image drummed into them, however, even magazines which I would generally have deemed reputable obsess about "confidence in the older woman" . For example June's Good Housekeeping's cover "Confident YOU. Reveal more and love what you see." or "We're half the women we used to be" and guess what? It usually means a makeover, bit of lippy and ridiculous killer heels.

effblinder Wed 30-May-12 11:17:39

I completely agree with everything that has been posted so far. It's about family and peers. I can't see anything that self-esteem lessons are going to acheive apart from making those who aren't happy with their bodies even less so. Lessons can't change an environment or a child's priorities. It's not a "fact" or a "skill" - it's a direct effect of the society we live in.

Polticians trying to foist the responsibility of our youth's emotional wellbeing onto teachers is completely unacceptable.

Mamie Wed 30-May-12 11:40:32

I also agree with most of what has been said so far, though I think schools do have a role in discussing issues relevant to the children's lives; it may be the only place where children hear a different point of view. I also think though that it is very hard to keep putting things into the curriculum; I remember an inspector I worked with who used to say "...but what shall we take out?"
I think the media have the biggest changes to make for anything to work. I think the constant harping on about women (and it is mostly about women), their shape, their diets, their clothes is downright misogynistic and vicious in some of the tabloids.

JessM Wed 30-May-12 11:43:05

Absolutely mamie whole bloody industry based on being bitchy about women. Too fat, too thin, too done up, too casual. etc It makes me sick.

Annika Wed 30-May-12 12:10:46

self-esteem was taught to me from my parents . I was short (still am !) a bit on the skinny side ( no more !)with mousey thin hair but mum and dad made me feel like a princess.
I have done my best with my three children and now my three grandchildren to make them feel good about themselves. Schools are there to teach all sorts of things and I believe that parents can start the ball rolling at home with the right words, not look how big you are but how about..... you are growing into a lovely young boy/man/girl/ lady.
Its hard these days because the message out there is if you are beautiful you will go far, if not, well no chance!hmm

Bags Wed 30-May-12 12:14:42

Agreed, jess and mamie, and one of the worst features of that "whole bloody industry" is that some women are the bitchiest about other women! It starts even in primary schools!

crimson Wed 30-May-12 12:20:21

More important to discuss healthy eating and exercise [hmm; did not a certain Conservative Govt sell off a lot of playing fields to make money sad]. As for body image and self esteem, it was bad enough in my youth and I suffered with borderline eating disorders for years [probably still do] and my ex husband was always telling me I was overweight even when I was less than 8st. I would hate to be a young woman now with the pressure it brings; 'celebs' showing their post baby figures in bikinis with no mention of the fact they [or so I've been told] have c sections and liposuction at the same time. Even young males are sufering more with anorexia today as well. Very sad.

susiecb Wed 30-May-12 16:46:36

Well I'm confused how can we say we have an obesity epidemic and a huge number (cant remeber the exact statistic) of our children are already overweight and then say they are under relentless pressure to be thin. Isnt working then is it or am I missing the point?

Anagram Wed 30-May-12 16:50:05

Thaat's a point, susiecb - all those poor children who are being labelled 'obese' or 'overweight' by school health checks, when they appear to be perfectly normal for their age. How does that sit with trying to persuade them that appearance doesn't matter?

Charlotta Wed 30-May-12 20:46:53

I can just imagine which children will be up front of the class in these self esteem lessons. The ones with self esteem. Got from Mum and Dad of course.

What about some real education? To be well educated gives you self esteem.

Anagram Wed 30-May-12 20:57:07

I agree, Charlotta! You are very brave to say it....

Annobel Wed 30-May-12 21:16:39

My parents had high expectations and gave us the tools to meet them - a house full of books in particular. We were always given credit for the things we did well and help with other things (in my case Maths) that we didn't do quite so well - in other words, we were encouraged to play to our strengths. And they always listened to us. That's what confers self-esteem. I hope that I managed to do that with my own DSs and I know they are treating their children the same way. The ideal place to gain self-esteem is the home, but teachers can use techniques of feed-back, constructive criticism and encouragement that will boost rather than destroy their charges' self-esteem. You can confer self-esteem - you can't teach it.

vampirequeen Wed 30-May-12 21:59:56

Feeling good about yourself is already taught in PSHCE lessons....I wish the government would find out what's actually being taught before they say it should be taught. Children are taught to eat healthily and take a reasonable amount of exercise. Unfortunately if you say the word 'diet' to most children they will say it is something you do to lose weight.

absentgrana Thu 31-May-12 10:54:25

I read in yesterday's newspapers that some politician has now come up with the idea that calling someone "fatty" should be regarded as a hate crime. He also suggested that the words fat and obese should be treated as offensive and that doctors should be banned from recommending weight loss to anyone unless there is a direct and obvious clinical connection. Calling someone "fatty"is clearly not kind and probably very upsetting for the person addressed – but a hate crime? Also what about calling someone "skinny", "tinribs", "shorty" or "lofty"? Back of a fag packet policy, I think. hmm

Anagram Thu 31-May-12 11:22:27

The word 'fag' is probably banned now, absent! wink

A few weeks ago my GC were with me and I said I didn't want any chocolate, thank you, because it might make my tummy too fat. They immediately said 'Nana, you aren't allowed to say fat!'. They didn't know why....confused DD said it must be something they've been told at school.

Mamie Thu 31-May-12 11:50:47

I can quite believe that a teacher would tell the children that it is not polite to call someone fat, Anagram.

Anagram Thu 31-May-12 11:52:45

Silly me!

nanaej Thu 31-May-12 12:05:36

My younger DGD (3yrs) is a chubster! Not fat but 'well covered' and her tummy is bloated by the end of the day! She is very active..scoots, runs, climbs, walks etc. as her mum does not drive. She eats a balanced diet and has few things she does not like. She does like to eat and my DD2 has to give her extra small portions so she can have more! She is happy to tell & show me that she has a fat tummy that pokes out of the bottom of her t-shirt! I am sure in a year's time she will be as skinny as her older sister!

absentgrana Thu 31-May-12 12:08:37

Anagram An English friend of mine and a smoker once sat in a restaurant in San Francisco and said quite loudly to her companion, "Darling, I'm dying for a fag." blush

Anagram Thu 31-May-12 12:09:34

grin

jeni Thu 31-May-12 12:35:51

Apparently not a good thing to say in the USA, as it has a different meaning. Like rubber and lifts and braces!