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Menopause

Sex after menopause

(111 Posts)
Mollyplop Sun 19-Aug-18 17:42:09

Hi i hope this ok to post, but I'm sure it will be removed if not! I had my last period about 3 years ago (I'm nearly 54). It seems to be something I can't discuss with my girlfriends but intercourse is now extremely painful to the point of being impossible. I have tried vaginal moisturiser but I don't think that the issue. It's as though things have "narrowed". It's like a taboo subject as if nobody is meant to have sex after 50! I'm experiencing a bout of depression at the moment so my libido is low but my OH and I have a loving relationship and is hate to think that it's over at such an early age. Sorry for the long post, but any advice would be most welcome.

dragonfly46 Tue 21-Aug-18 10:33:09

I was given Vagifem by my doctor but when I went for a repeat they told me they did not recommend it on a regular basis as it is oestrogen based and could lead to breast cancer.

Ilovedragonflies Tue 21-Aug-18 10:32:14

Vagifem is a miracle worker (and also allows for smears to be taken practically painlessly - without it, it is impossible and is why I was prescribed it!)

Nanny27 Tue 21-Aug-18 10:24:31

flexiblefriend please can you explain atrophy. I'm not sure what it is.

Mollyplop Tue 21-Aug-18 10:20:38

Thank you everyone for the advice and giggles (Vatican!). I can't take hrt but will try vagifem pesseries. If that fails then we will just have to be more creative! Fortunately my hubby is lovely and very understanding. I think it bothers me more angry

lovebooks Tue 21-Aug-18 10:19:27

I was on HRT for over twenty years. Very few problems, and it was the most creatively productive time of my life. I then got breast cancer - an unusual one and not oestrogen-related - but I was still taken off it. Since then, my health hasn't been great. I also have osteoporosis, inherited from my mum - the main reason for opting for HRT in the first place as it's a great bone conserver. Since I lost my husband five years ago, my health has really gone downhill, and I know that's grief-related, but I'd love to try the smallest dose of HRT again.
Oh, and I LOVED Vatican cream - a whole new and profitable brand there smile

pen50 Tue 21-Aug-18 10:06:17

I use Vagifem too, but as a tiny pill inserted twice a week at night with an applicator thingie. Works perfectly. Only downside is a small amount of discharge next day from the melting of the pill - I use a washable pantyliner. Your doctor will be quite used to this and TBH you still need to have internal examinations at your age for cervical cancer anyway. So pull up your Big Girl Pants and get to the GP pronto!

Speldnan Tue 21-Aug-18 10:03:18

I’m 68 with a partner 13 years younger with a high libido. Therefore quite a bit of sex. No HRT with menopause but now use the ‘vatican’ pessaries for dryness. My trouble is with low libido, it’s disappointing after having a high one for most of my life up until post menopause. My ex husband wasn’t that interested so it’s a shame that I’m not now that I have a partner who is! Hey ho..

Venus Tue 21-Aug-18 09:51:17

Vagifem vaginal tablets may help, plus a vaginal jel that can be inserted before intercourse that you can buy in any chemist. Having been on HRT for many years, I have been advised not to continue. I have got urinary infections because of the dryness but this is the best advice I have to offer.

seacliff Tue 21-Aug-18 06:06:54

Don't mention Bonjela.... Oh no, that's those naughty Mumsnetters!

Menopaws Tue 21-Aug-18 04:25:18

You could sell it along with the Jesus fluid mentioned a few weeks ago!

Coolgran65 Mon 20-Aug-18 23:13:21

I laughed when I saw it myself and now
you've all made me laugh again, and again.
And as for the Pope ..... I'll look at him in a new light.
A cottage industry perhaps ??

phoenix Mon 20-Aug-18 23:00:22

Apropos of nothing......

www.youtube.com/watch?v=pvhYqeGp_Do

phoenix Mon 20-Aug-18 22:51:06

I'm sitting here with tears steaming down my cheeks (facial ones) at Vatican cream, yet wanting to post other stuff relevant to the op, but can't.

Katek Mon 20-Aug-18 22:48:21

Hahahahaha!! Love it....Vatican cream!

???

Chewbacca Mon 20-Aug-18 21:57:27

I've nothing sensible to add to this thread except I'm choking with laughter at Vatican cream for sandpaper sex! I won't be able to look at photos of the Pope again without sniggering! Thanks so much Coolgran, I really needed that giggle!

Nanawind Mon 20-Aug-18 21:51:42

I use YES vaginal gel from the internet.(great name) This is a natural lubricant. I cannot have HRT for health reasons so I found this after a lot of research. The vaginal gel prescribed by my GP didn't help me.
I believe some GPs will give it via prescription unfortunately mine won't.

WishIWasSaintly Mon 20-Aug-18 21:46:09

Vatican cream! hahahaha ...

I have the pessaries and I know what I'll be calling them from now on ...

So, Mollyplop, sorry to hear of your situation. Looks like the advice is doc, loads of lube and non penetrative sex ... a lot of fun can be had without it.

Hope things ease up soon x

PECS Mon 20-Aug-18 21:17:26

It is good we can laugh about things that can be difficult to talk about! I have been lucky and had a relatively easy menopause at about 57 & the following 10 years have been fine sex wise..but pleased to get the info in case I do need help in the future!

seacliff Mon 20-Aug-18 21:13:45

giggle

Menopaws Mon 20-Aug-18 21:09:22

I'm sorry shouldn't laugh but sandpaper sex and Vatican cream have made me laugh so much my iPad fell off my extended belly and fell on the floor and woke up my husband and made the dog jump off the bed and bark!

Fennel Mon 20-Aug-18 21:04:24

grin

loopyloo Mon 20-Aug-18 21:01:24

I love it ......Vatican cream. Can perform miracles!

Coolgran65 Mon 20-Aug-18 20:58:19

Ooops... Not Vatican cream.
Stupid autocorrect.
It should be vagifem cream ?

Coolgran65 Mon 20-Aug-18 20:56:54

I'm 70 and still active. For years I've used Vatican cream for daily dryness, and ky jelly for sex. However recently this hasn't been enough and it's been a bit like 'sandpaper sex.'.

You have reminded me that previously I've used the hormone cream successfully. I'll ask my doctor at an upcoming appointment.

Fennel Mon 20-Aug-18 20:49:01

Lynne - it's not me it's him! He's a bit younger than me.
But he seems to have calmed down now TG.