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How to stop my Mum being ripped off?

(8 Posts)
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guiltyson Fri 15-Sept-17 16:16:56

Hello,
My Mum is fiercely independent and wants to continue that way.
She has problems negotiating the modern consumer ways: buying stuff over the phone she doesnt need, on a charities marketing list and basically, seems to get talked into buying stuff she doesnt need or want. She then looses track of what she has brought and signed up to. I turned up to find a stack of dried food deliveries (graze) piling up in the corner - which was surreal.

I dont want to interfere with her life. I do want her to be protected but I cant seem to make her understand that there are people who sell stuff using all sorts of tactics.

How can I help? How can I help her understand there are unscrupulous businesses who want to take advantage?
Ideally, how can I get her to put the phone down immediately if she doesnt recognise the caller?

Thanks for your advice.

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nanaK54 Fri 15-Sept-17 16:20:26

I feel for you, went through similar with my mum.
She learned to say "you will have to ring my daughter about that" and gave any callers my 'phone number, needless to say I didn't receive any calls......

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guiltyson Fri 15-Sept-17 16:43:55

I'm worried it will interfere with her sense of independence.
I did offer it but I think its hard for her to adjust her behaviour now.

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dbDB77 Fri 15-Sept-17 17:03:40

I've been there too ... my Mum couldn't/wouldn't see that there was a problem - she was being duped but she thought she was in control.
I didn't raise the subject - she would get angry if I mentioned anything - she was frightened of losing her independence I think - so I started chatting about items in the newspaper describing scams and frauds that had happened to vulnerable people - or pretending things had happened to friends' parents - "isn't it awful Mum what these cold callers do?" etc - this seemed to help her think things through.
It's a very difficult issue when parents start to be become vulnerable in that way. Good luck.

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guiltyson Fri 15-Sept-17 17:19:29

sounds very familiar.
the great difficulty is moving from acknowledging and knowing there is a problem, to changing the behaviour.

she is just not used to this new culture of consumerism.

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BlueBelle Fri 15-Sept-17 17:23:01

This seems to be a duplicate I ve just answered in the same subject different thread

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guiltyson Fri 15-Sept-17 17:42:15

I posted it in the legal and money, after realising it might be a more relevant forum.
Thanks, Ill have a look.

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Starlady Sun 24-Sept-17 19:00:54

So sorry about this guiltyson. I know you're worried. It's hard to keep a balance between that and letting mum keep her independence.

Actually, not much you can do, legally speaking, since she is an independent adult. dbDB77's advice sounds good. Not much more you can do beyond that.

Is this why you call yourself "guiltyson?" You have nothing to be guilty about. You're doing your best. It's up to her to take your advice or not. "You can lead a horse to water, etc." Not your fault if mum doesn't listen.

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