Thanks for the kind words ladies DD is feeling stronger to-day and has decided to go to the Chapel for the service when it is arranged and stay a wee bit longer when everyone has gone and pay her own respects I'm all in agreement with this it will put all the things she maybe wanted to say over many years to rest. Thanks again.
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I am glad your DD has made a decision she is happy with glammanana . Due to his job My DS's fathers funeral was quite a large affair and it wouldn't have been possible to hang around at the end. I am sure you will be ready to pick up the pieces if DD (like my DS) wishes she hadn't have gone after all.
I know my DS visits his grave (although he has never told me) as a friend of mine who lives directly opposite the church yard where he is buried has seen him there a few times. I feel like going there myself one day and telling him what he has done to his lovely boy. Very very sad. 
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