I want to declutter, partner does not want to?

Youngest son was very good recently though and gave a relative a lot of hoodies that he acknowledged were too small and they were quite expensive ones too.

*Donate.typo.

I think OP id be tempted to chuck the definitely not needed or sentimental or valuable stuff on the sneak- and put anything you think or know to mean something in a box and say "can i dontate these or are there a 'few' you treasure- and why?"

My adult sons hang on to old clothes, even after buying new, particularly underwear. Next wash im going to throw at least one pair and i bought other son a new 5 pr pack from M&S but as he only brought a couple of prs back in uni hols i cant shift very old ones yet.It must be a bloke thing..Last time we moved house i sorted all his old ones, and threw out about 40 odd socks but still sent him to uni digs with 18 matched prs😁(he comes back each break saying he has 'no socks')😆

We live in quite a large house. And we have an awful lot of stuff. Thousands of books, strange ornaments, doll's houses, drinking glasses. We would be able to entertain the whole neighbourhood with drinks.

We're not hoarders, the house isn't chaotic but busy.

Recently we were having a family do and told the children we were thinking of doing this Swedish clean out.

All 3 of them were absolutely horrified. They couldn't understand why we'd even think of such a thing. As they said, once we've gone they will just clear out. It won't take a long time after all.

So that's that. I'm quite pleased really.

My late beloved DH was a hoarder of tools and wood, plus scientific instruments, electrical and electronic components remaining from his small factory.
A few months before he died, he did start to clear things out, but he became too frail. On his deathbed, he said he was truly sorry to be leaving it all for me to sort out. And indeed, it has been very hard.
Think about the surviving spouse!

Letters are a bit of a quandary, I think. Now we have tech and people no longer write letters to each other, I think in time hand written letters will be regarded as interesting representations of a bygone age - like items written on parchment. They’ll be a window into a relatively brief period of time, post-illiteracy era but pre-tech.

As an aside, my GD asked her mother recently whether they wrote on scrolls when she was at school. Her mother was not amused, while I stifled my giggles!

“Won’t allow you”? That doesn’t sound great.
He/she can do as they wish with their stuff but have no right to tell you what to do with yours!

It actually all but finished a long and presumably happy marriage, in a couple I knew.
Wife wanted to keep their large home full of items from when her children were little, husband wanted to downsize and for them to go and see places and have adventures, now that many years of childcare, and foster children had ended.

This is a bone of contention in so many houses .
I know women who despair of their husbands who have saved their childhood toys and men who are frustrated by wives saving clothes that no longer fit .
As we age we're not always in agreement!
Perhaps it's best to tidy up your own stuff .
Didn't Helena Bonham Carter live in adjoining semis with her husband?
The solution if we can afford it !

Re letters and photos:

My youngest daughter wanted to go through the photo albums with my mother-in-law but she "weeded out" lots that she thought were "unimportant" ahead of time - they were found in a "to shred" pile and rescued ny my daughter - some rare relaxed honeymoon photos of my husband's father for example (who died when he was about 6). She had saved instead multiple "formal" photos of them (all the same).

My oldest daughter is the letter lover... even the
"My dear Bertie, we are having a lovely time in Southsea. Uncle Simon is amusing the children with card tricks. Wish you could have joined us." sort

Happily both of us are neat freaks and don't keep extra things adopting a one in one out philosophy. In a small house you have to be tidy I think - well I do. Sadly my darling DD2 divorced and moved house this weekend when she came face to face with her spending and hoarding as did we helping to move and unpack. Hopefully she will appreciate her smaller house and her smaller budget and stop hoarding.

Letters are one of the things that people do get sentimental about even if it doesn't feel logical.

Some young people are fascinated by historical pictures or letters its depends what they are like. My DS appears to have no sentimentally in him but I know he'd like them along with albums etc and some pictures and not a lot more. But it depends what they are like.

We did a Swedish Death Clearance 3/4 years ago and then moved house last year so we are clutter free and it will stay that way.

My husband who was reluctant to throw anything away is a convert!

He says he now wishes he had cleared out years ago, he was hoarding family stuff that our children don’t want.

We miss nothing.

I’ve been doing some decluttering lately, and made the mistake of asking dh about something. It was a bundle of maybe a dozen letters from among a childless aunt’s things after she died (with dementia) in her care home.

She had been estranged for a long time from her husband (never actually divorced) but in later years they’d kept in touch, so there were several letters from him. I did read one or two - they seemed to be very loving, so I felt bad reading something so private.

I was just going to shred them the other day - what was the point in hanging on to them, just something else for dds (who never really knew her) to have to get rid of one day? There will be more than enough stuff for them to deal with anyway.*

Dh was firmly against the idea of shredding them, he thought I should hang on to them - but for what??
I shall quietly do it anyway soon.
*I have already told them, and will put it in writing, that apart from a list of anything valuable, for goodness sake just get a house clearance firm in.

There's a decluttering thread, if it might help?
No expectations, no pressure, just a bit of chat, a bit of support, and sharing our successes, for example 1 bra out, 2 empty carrier bags gone
I don't think anyone's in their lofts yet, though!

The older I get, the more I need a peaceful house! I try to declutter things as I'm going along, so no great piles, but it is hard. Especially with clothes - I'm currently a size 12 , having come down from a size 20 over the last year, but I'm still having problems letting the bigger sizes go. A work in progress!
Re husband/partner's stuff - Mr LP is quite good at getting rid of stuff, but sometimes needs 'encouraging'. So if I'm clearing out a drawer for eg, anything of his I will lay out on the table and ask if he needs/wants any of this, or can it go ( bin/charity). He finds it easier to look and decide quickly. Stuff gets disposed of, and we're both happy.
Currently plucking up the courage ( and the energy! ) to tackle the loft!
xxx

I struggle with my wife's clutter, stuf that is kept e Auden it might be needed, but buys new anyway. The freezer the fridge kitchen cupboards wardrobes stacked with stuff that sits there for years unused.
I purged the freezer a few weeks ago, fridge next,

This thread makes me so glad to be living alone, in charge of my own space. I keep things that are useful, beautiful or of significant emotional value and get rid of the rest. When I was married my husband was constantly asking after things that I’d chucked and I’d deny all knowledge. Now I don’t have that problem. I’d bag things up that you want to get rid of OP and if he hasn’t asked after them for a while, just dispose of them.

NotSpaghetti

I wouldn't do it.
I'd collect the things I thought were unimportant (including my own) and say "are you bothered about any of these or can I give them to Oxfam?"

I think seeing them in one reasonably small collection at a time is unlikely to ruffle feathers.

I would hate it if someone did it to me.

Neat idea. Just in case something turns up with sentimental value you didn't know of.

Or - have you a garage where you can box up and store his never used stuff with labels listing whats in it of his stuff and just tell him you are doing it?

ah, a joy of living alone, just my own stuff to de clutter....I have boxes of selected significant stuff from the past to keep and some aren't ready to go, some may never go, but they dont lie around, as one appreciates the Stuff left all the more.

I always thought I was good at decluttering because I've moved 15 times in 20 years but the biggest lesson I learnt was when my landlord decided to provide my neighbour and me with new very large black bins (the sort you see outside cafés). I create very little rubbish so I thought it would be an ideal place to store 'things'. An upright cupboard really. How useful!! 😄 My neighbour naturally assumed it was full of rubbish and because I was away that week she very kindly put it out for collection. So, crockery, games, tools etc etc etc all went in the rubbish van. I felt sorry for the waste of useful things but I didn't miss any of it, so it was a real, if very steep, learning curve about holding on to 'stuff'.

Yes i can respect tjat, and I'd steer clear of those. .but a torn blankef that the dog dug up????

MissAdventure I'm not sure what funny little things might be sentimental to my husband to be honest.

He has some things I know about - but even after half a century we still have our own thoughts.

Can you just declutter your own stuff, for now? He might be inspired by the difference it makes and make him want to do his own.

Sodapop I usually clear out some of my stuff ostentatiously then ask him what he is getting rid of.

That seems a bit rude and confrontational to me (but maybe he doesn't mind?)
I'd be more inclined to just pick one or two things he almost certainly won't need and ask nicely if you can pass them on?

I wouldn't start decluttering as though it is a challenge and a face-off.
I can't see that working to be honest.