When sexism and ageism combine...

good for you.
that is the point i was trying to make on another thread, about familiar terms of address in shops etc.
people were saying it's just friendly, but would they presume to use such familiar terms to higher status people, eg men.
when i got my second jab, the middle-aged man, who did not introduce himself by name or job, called me, my dear.
it rankled with me, but din't feel i could say anything, given the context, grateful for vaccine, never see him again etc.
but i bet he didn't say that to a male person.

I have never had a problem with being called anything, love, lovey, me duck, darlin', sweetie, my dear, although I never get called gorgeous now!

I would be a bit miffed if someone said 'mind the old lady'.

‘Young lady’ riles me. It did at work when I was actually young, and it does now I’m old! The comment seems to come from a particular type of misogynist creep.

My father was often referred to as a spring chicken by his carers when he was anything but. He thought it hilarious. Personally I have no problem with being referred to as anything, Just doesn't bother me.

If a man in the queue was addressed as "Sir" and I was addressed as "lovey", I might not have been polite enough to call her "little girl".

Good for you faringdon59.

Just not bothered!

Not bothered about people being disrespectful? That's what it is. Call me madam! ?

Alegrias1

Not bothered about people being disrespectful? That's what it is. Call me madam! ?

Only uppity people like us care about that.

We really should just relax and let the misogyny reign. ???

I don't think it is misogyny.

Or sexism.

Or ageism.

Amazed you're so worked up about this. I'm not so insecure of my identity and worth that it bothers me.

If a man is "Sir"

and a woman is "lovey"

what is it then?

I have a few words we can use.

Aveline

Amazed you're so worked up about this. I'm not so insecure of my identity and worth that it bothers me.

Oh, not this again.

Why not Alegrias it's what I really think? Basically don't sweat the small stuff.

^If a man is "Sir"

and a woman is "lovey"

what is it then?^

But this isn't what was complained about in the OP. At least, the OP-er did not say she was calling the man sir. She could have answered, for example, "Yes, Your Reverence" to get her point across.

Or she could simply have asked him not to call her young lady. A bit of assertiveness works wonders. Far better than getting all huffy anyway.

There's really no need for checkout operators to call customers anything. Hullo / Good Morning etc should be all that's needed.
That golf guy was rude.

As someone on GN used to say: I don't mind what you call me as long as you don't call me late for dinner.

FarNorth

There's really no need for checkout operators to call customers anything. Hullo / Good Morning etc should be all that's needed.
That golf guy was rude.

Rude? Perhaps. But I doubt it.

I reall don't mind m'dears or loves (love is common to all ages and from all ages where I grew up), but the lately common "Stay safe" or "You take care now" do set my teeth on edge. Because, well, one does in any case. It doesn't need a pandemic.

But this isn't what was complained about in the OP.

erm... yes it was

Alegrias1

^But this isn't what was complained about in the OP.^

erm... yes it was

I do not see any reference in the OP to what she called the golf instructor. I very much doubt anyone called him sir.

Or if they did it was through gritted teeth. Perhaps you should have tried that, Faringdon? it might have done the trick.

It may not be misogyny or sexism or ageism, but it is some kind of -ism that differentiates between one person and another.

Should we label it Powerism? Men are powerful, so get "sir", which from one man to another indicates deference to an older man or one in a senior position, and from a checkout assistant indicates deference to a valued customer.

If women are powerful (in the forces a superior officer) they get madam or ma'am. When they are merely doing female chores like food shopping or taking the car to get an MOT, they are no more powerful than equal (if that) to the female checkout assistant, and definitely inferior to the alpha male mechanic who will service the car and tell her how many arms and legs it is going to cost.

Aveline

Why not Alegrias it's what I really think? Basically don't sweat the small stuff.

That's fine for you "Aveline" and if it doesn't bother you, no worries. But your comment about how you're not so insecure of your identity and worth that it bothers you implies that those who do care are insecure in their identity and have self worth issues.

I can assure you very strongly that "insecurity" is not something I have ever been bothered with. Experience of being underestimated and talked down to, now those are things I can talk to you about. A different form of address for someone who looks like a nice old dear says that the speaker thinks of you only that way.

So don't put the blame on the people who don't want to be patronised.