Help calm me, house buying and selling stress. Part 3

Morning all, bright and sunny here but still chilly.

It's lovely to read about your families and friends visiting, my house is like a museum, I never have anyone here. I'm not sure I'll still be here when grandchildren arrive in the future. I think like you Whiff, my husband lives on in my children. My stepson, who I met for the first time at my husband's funeral, looks nothing like him, not even a passing likeness in my eyes.

Tomorrow will be busy with my daughter and boyfriend packing, then my son will be coming in the evening to collect her to take them and her stuff to her new place.

My daughter is still waiting for the car to be ready, he did promise it 'middle of January', I hope he hasn't found something terribly wrong with it.

I went on a house selling website last night and people there were encouraging me to be patient and wait for the 'right' buyer. Do you think I'm being impatient after fifteen months?

Last night was taken by daughter and SiL (and three of my g.children), to a nearby village (Hutton) for Wassailing. Carried out in apple orchard, - such great fun!!! First half outside (they put my scooter into the boot of their car for me) - but had been warned and wrapped up warm - glorious night - cold and crisp, we were treated to performances by Shanty songs singers, children country dancing, Morris dancers and fireworks, Open fire there and lots of marshmallows n sticks being toasted over it! Of course, lots of cider!!!!
Then festivities continued at local Village Hall, with repeat performances and some wonderful community Gaelic dancing. Such fun, normally I am falling asleep by 9.30 in the evening, I was wide awake the whole time, smiling throughout. Had lovely picture taken with Green Man.
The fun and joy of living in Somerset.

so true about staying strong whiff, I have some small hand weights in a box but forget to use them, they will have to go on show so I remember. We must muscles or they get weak and won`t protect our bones well enough. That is why I like to carry things when I can, rather than wheeling them

So I have recovered from my drive and after the initial panic about what to feed my visitors, I have dough being made in my breadmaker for rolls and will also make nice soup in my soup maker, also scones. I am expecting them around 12 so have enough time

I am definitely keeping my promise to myself about night driving. I will go to an occasional performance at the theatre but that is only 15 minutes away along a 40/30 mph familiar road. That driving last night, it was the whizz kids coming the other way not bothering to dip their main beams and the mist on the roads, almost a fog in patches. Still sends shivers down my back.

At least we will see the sun today, it will be uplifting

Craftyone glad you got home in one piece. After reading about people's experience driving I am glad I don't. I know it is convenient to be able too and sometimes wish I did. But with not being able to control my limbs I would be a liability. If we use water bottles as weights tomorrow at sit fit I can't use one in my left hand after last week. Did I say my arm seized and the water bottle flew out of my hand and almost hit my instructor luckily she can move quickly.

Like SueH49 I thought you had brought your daughter a car Mosaicwarts. Bet you are ticking off the days until you you get the keys to the rental.

My son and grandsons came on Friday. They were here for 6 hrs and I loved every minute. My son put up the curtain rail in the living room for me and my daughter is taking me to Dunelm on Friday to get some curtains. Another thing I haven't looked at buying for 20+ yrs. My eldest grandson sat on my lap and after a few minutes fell asleep his brother fell asleep on his dad. It's what I have wanted every since they have been born. I missed a lot of their early baby time. But they are all to young to remember. They love coming here and me to their homes. My life is full and am loving it. As others here I haven't got the one person I want and need in my life but I have got very good substitutes. It gives me comfort that my husband lives on in the children and grandsons. They all carry part of his DNA. I know that sounds strange but it's one of the things that helps me face everyday with hope and a smile.

Like you Craftyone I have visitors today. My brother and sister in law are coming . They came just before Christmas and where only here a hour and half and had to take me to hospital. Just hope today that doesn't happen again. They travel over 100 miles to see me. Once my bedroom is done and I can move in then I can have visitors to stay. Bliss.

SueH49 any luck with the house hunting?

Hope everyone has a good day.

MW, didn't you buy a car for your daughter? I think I would be letting her drive herself here there and everywhere rather than being a chauffeur if I was not confident in driving. Could you not add her to your insurance so you could let her use your car then you could relax and enjoy your evenings tucked up in your pj's!

Oh craftyone, that's a long way to drive on your own in the dark after a sitting session. If I ever have grandchildren, I'll copy your idea of bringing them home in daylight. On my last scary late night time drive to collect my daughter a hare started across the motorway in front of me. I swerved and missed him I'm pleased to say, but it made me feel very shaky for a few miles and added to my anxiety. I wear those yellow specs too, I think they do help somewhat. I'm glad not to have to drive in the dark again now my daughter has left. Sometimes I'd just be thinking of putting my pj's on and she'd come downstairs and ask to go to the gym - only a ten minute drive away, but in the dark! And I have to wait in the car for her as I'm not a member.

Hope your visitors enjoy your scones, your old neighbours again?

I am giving up driving relatively long distances on busy roads at night. 45 miles but coming home in the dark was foul, glaring lights and hedges and no road lights, cats eyes that disappeared when oncoming cars appeared. Strings of cars sitting on my tail, room to pass safely at times but no, they were hanging onto my tail lights. I wore my specs with yellow lenses and they certainly helped but it would only take one misjudged hedge or verge to steer into an oncoming car or lorry. That was after 7 hours child sitting.

If I am asked again, I will bring the children back here in daylight and take them home the next day in daylight. I breathed a sigh of relief every time I had 40 or 30 mph restrictions, 60 is crazy when It is pitch black. I admit to using gearing in defensive mode all the way ie 1 or 2 gears below how they should be used in daylight

I have visitors tomorrow, must make scones

Evening Franbern, thanks for your kind words, I am pleased for her not having to endure the 4 hours of travelling, it'll just be hard at first now I've got used to her being here.

Does feel as though it might snow here tonight, absolutely freezing. Was it you who said you are curious about my complaining about being cold, or Framilode? I'm single glazed sash windows, some of the glass panes are cracked, and the house has a six foot cellar running the full length of the house as it was raised to reach the railway line. We stripped all the floors and put down rugs, not realising how very draughty it would be. The Victorians loved their airbricks didn't they! One of my chilblains is purple, I'm a bit worried about it but having a 'well woman' thing on Monday.

The mattress cover was specified in the tenancy agreement, I had bought her one for Uni but we left it behind as it was too far gone. I have got a king sized one here, but her bed there is a double.

I can smell your lovely stew! A great invention, I started using one in the late 80's, loved coming home to that lovely smell of dinner after hours of strap hanging on the tube. I haven't got anything for dinner yet, not sure what to have, don't feel like cooking but I will.

A very nice but frail man turned up to buy my table today, I was worried about him on the stairs and accompanied him and his companion/carer? down the stairs. I offered him the two chairs for free (my worst ever buy, mid Victorian barley twist with a cane back, like sitting against a loofah) - he didn't want them so I listed them on Facebook. Sold straight away, a lady is coming at 5 pm tomorrow.

Off to raid the freezer, need to empty and sell it in the next fortnight.

Have a nice evening

Oh MW - your daughter is not going forever. She is spreading her wings, as she should at her age. From what I understand she lived abroad for a good time, so you are quite used to her not living with you.
And, this is such an excellent time for it to happen, just when you are about to move into a smaller property. Living by yourself can be so exciting and you can still visit her and she, you.
Not sure why you had to go to buy a mattress cover for her, she is working and this is hardly an essential household item. Fine if you had, as she asked, spare one, but not to actually go to purchase one. Or, is this your house warming pressie to her?
A few years ago I bought a slow cooker, but never really manged to get on with it. During my clearing out process I gave it to my eldest daughter. She makes the most wonderful meals with it,and it inspired me to try again. Purchased a small (1.5litres) on in Argos and, yesterday cooked some stewing steak in it, with vdeg. Added in herbie dumplings an hour before the finish, and must say, made myself a scrummy meal, with a second amount in a dish in my fridge ready for this evening. So no cooking for me tonight!!!

£1K legal fees inc VAT was quoted by this auctioneer, if I use their solicitor Franbern. I'm not sure what my own solicitor will/would charge - poor man, his Mum had a heart attack over Christmas. He goes away every Christmas and she recovered, was still in hospital, and she encouraged him to go as his sister would be here - she died as they landed Losing your mother is such a huge life event, isn't it. I've just left a bottle of their favourite vodka and a card on their step - no idea why this particular brand is so expensive, price made my eyes water, but he's been very good to us during our twenty years of 'neighbours'. He helped me when my Mum died too, in 2001, I feel he is an honourable gentleman.

I had to rush off after writing, my daughter came downstairs about an hour before catching the train, and said she'd forgotten to ask me if we had any 'spare' mattress covers! Dashed in and out of Sainsbury's at high speed, and bought a 'peachy' one' - I got caught at my crossing for THREE trains, they obviously knew I was in a hurry.

I didn't wait with her on the platform as usual today as my dog gets very upset, she is back for a short time on Monday, then she's gone forever. I let the council tax people know so I could get my single person allowance again, and they asked for her forwarding address, 'for their records'. They are checking on me, how very dare they!

Thank you all for your support about the buyer, I wish I had done the viewing and knew what he was like. From his negotiating manner and the information I've been relayed, I do suspect he could pull a fast one at a crucial time.

Be surprised if you have only 1k of legal fees. Is that what your Solicitor has quoted to you?
Selling and buying property is surprisingly expensive business. Does appear as if auction is a lot more expensive than selling through a normal EA. This last one is quoting 3%, (assume that your up-front payment of £780 would be deducted from that amount). Did you not say the previous one quoted 2 1/2%?
It does appear, to me, that your buyer is still hoping to be able to go ahead. Obviously, the more queries he makes, etc. the more it is costing him in terms of time and costs. So, do not think he is totally messing you around, just trying to get all his ducks in a row, etc. Best to keep him in mind. If you do decide to go to auction, you should inform him probably a good couple of weeks before, saying what you are doing and what your reserve price would be (at least the same amount as his accepted offer. Then he will have time to consider if he is willing to start signing papers and stop you going to auction, or wha

Did you think I'd fallen off my chair ... you'd be right, I tried to stroke the cat and overbalanced! I'm going to give the buyer a week, then take stock.

I've just spoken to the 'free' auction house. It's only free if I make the buyer pay my commission, which would amount to them having to pay another huge sum on top of the price they pay for the house. It won't be attractive unless someone has money to burn. I'd still have about £1K of legal fees.

The second option they offer is that I pay an entry fee of £780 initially. When the house is sold the buyer pays a 10% deposit, and my 'fee' of 3% of the sale price is taken out of it. Legal fees apply to both methods.

Not so good when you look very closely at a bargain!

The EA have now forwarded my report, I wonder how long I'l have to wait to hear. I'm going to give him a week, then

Great idea Eglantine. That would cover all bases and call the buyers bluff.

I’ve only posted now and again but I do keep up with all your stories, especially mosaicwarts because I have been in a similar position in the past. My buyers asked for a further reduction on the day of exchange.

I suppose I just want to weigh in and say Go to auction with a reserve the same as he has offered. If he really wants it he will close the deal before the auction with a pre-auction bid.

Then he is committed and can’t pull out or ask for a further reduction.

Ooooh, I like that, Framilode - call his bluff!! The grans have spoken - be empowered MW - we have lived hundreds of years between us, with all that wisdom!

Mosaicwarts For what it's worth I agree with the others. I don't trust this buyer, I have seen this too many times. I seem to remember that you said when he first put in his offer that he needed a high loan to value ratio. If that is the case the Building Society may be very picky. People in those positions really need to buy a house that doesn't need much doing, not a large and beautiful house that needs some renovation.

Go for the auction option. Like someone else said if he has his ducks in a row he can bid then. Call his bluff.

I so agree with Crafty, MW, I know it's a gamble going to auction but I am so P Off with buyer, I really don't trust him not to string you along and mess you about. Yes, tell him if he still wants it to going along and bid.

I know it's scary and all happening at once after months of not much happening at all, with your daughter moving out as well, but please stay strong and don't let this awful man push you around - take back control - YOU CAN DO THIS

I've just had the report through - £3,300, and they recommend their damp proof course, which we can't have here, it has to be a specialist membrane. I am curious as to whether he is going to ask me to do it, in which case, it's goodbye!

Morning all, horrible grey rainy morning here but thankfully no wind yet.

I hope to get the damp/timber report in the post today. The buyer will then be told if he can get the mortgage or not, and I'll know if he can proceed. I agree that he is flaky, he either wants to make the biggest profit possible, or he genuinely doesn't have the money.

I've been looking at auctions since you gave me the idea, it is so useful RightMove have an auction filter, there are many very nice looking houses on the market up here. The auctioneer I spoke to, who rang me earlier in the year, charges 2.5%, and he has six estate agents. I haven't spoken to the other one yet, but on the website they do not charge a fee, the buyer pays, and they have fifty estate agents as well as being members of the RICS. As I made a mistake with my first estate agent I am nervous of making the wrong decision again, I'm going to do a comparison chart. I did find a railway station sold at auction, but south of me, and the auction house doesn't cover this area - was listed for £250, made £395. It is encouraging isn't it.

Moving out day for my daughter today, she leaves on the 3 pm train. She's back on Monday with her boyfriend to do more packing, my son is coming over to take them to her new house with her possessions. All change, as the old stationmaster would have said!

Mosaciwarts Craftyone is right. This buyer is stringing you along. Set your mind for the auction. By selling at auction you will get a buyer and a definite time line. You badly need piece of mind. If you haven't already set the wheels in motion to go to auction do it very soon. You don't need the worry of a large house and it's problems.
Moving to the rental is going to like a holiday for you. You will be cosy and warm. You will then realise how easy life will be for you in a smaller home. Also you will have time to have a look around for your permanent new home. Just wish I could help you more.

oh yes, it is a good thing mosaics, you are ready mentally.

What worries me about that buyer is that he could start proceedings and you would miss out on the auction slot. Then he could pull out again, likely looking at his past form. You will have buyers competing at auction, it only takes 2 and could well go higher than you expect and the big bonus would be the positivity of the deal being set in stone and finally

I suggest that if you have any contact with that buyer that you tell him to go bid at the auction. He has played you for a fool, which you most certainly are not. Stay strong and stick to your plans

I'm so glad you are all on here, I do feel a bit down.

Estate agent rang first thing and asked if I'd received the report - apparently the buyer is still interested.

The birthday walk was sunny on the way, then very windy and cold on the way back! I didn't moan at all, was just glad when it was over, my daughter really enjoys walking. We went for lunch then dashed off for the massage, and the masseur said if she came every fortnight she could help her to manage the pain. She was so pleased, it's been four years now. My daughter went abroad just after my husband died, and had a terrible accident whilst sandboarding, the medics there thought she'd broken her shoulder. My son popped in tonight to surprise her but he didn't stay long as he's full of cold, she's now upstairs packing for her 'move' to her rental tomorrow, then she flies tomorrow night for a weekend away abroad.

I'd asked the kids what they wanted, and my son took one of our statues that has been on the windowsill forever. It hit home that this really is it - which is a good thing, isn't it!!

Mosaciwarts you quote sounds reasonable. I paid nearly £3,000 for Pickford's removal and storage. Still in dispute over all the things that went wrong. In the hands of the ombudsman now.

Had smart meters fitted. He was only here a hour. Very efficient.

I made a new friend when I joined U3A in December. She visited today. Had a nice natter. She is in the process of buying a house. Having survey done tomorrow. Glad all that is behind me.

Had the quote to do all the work on the shower room. Happy with it. One of the children will take me to look at fittings for it. Choosing tiles and flooring lovely. Think I want mostly white with a touch of colour think blue will have to have a look. Wanted a blue kitchen but when I went to look changed my mind. It's olive green.

Hopes it's not to windy for you all.

Blimey, does it really cost nearly 1k to shift a few bits down the road MW? That has come as a shock to me. You sound very upbeat, has your buyer been in touch now that he will have had the report done on 8 Jan? Probably not or you would have told us.

I'm just impatient for you.................