Help calm me, house buying and selling stress part 2

Thanks for the info, so nice of you to share!

Tuesday's appointment is the full building structural, I haven't heard about the mortgage lender survey yet. It's so nice to have you to talk to, I did feel so alone today after the phone call 'would help you if I could, good luck'. At least I should know what is happening for the NY, either way. If he does withdraw, which I suspect he will, I'm staying off the market until March. I'd missed an email from the EA with feedback from Saturday's viewing - I feel as though I've already told you? They said thanks for allowing them to view my amazing house, but too large scale renovation.

I'm going to look at the caravans, thank you for the link. I did think of it when I first went on the market and went down to our caravan site here - only £40K ones for sale when I went, £4K a year fees. My friend bought a chalet for £150K, but she is here a great deal.

I'm sad my electric blanket isn't working properly - I put it on number 2 an hour ago and it's hardly warmed up at all, I wanted to put warm pj bottoms on! Turned up to 3 now, hopefully will be warmer - or it's broken. What's new?

mosaics just a thought for a possible safety net, just in case you have to leave fast and to save some stress. They are in all areas including devon and rent is very cheap. Me and husband overwintered in a tiny tiny caravan with lots of snow. ok if they have a source of heating. We did it for 6 months

www.gumtree.com/property-to-rent/uk/static+caravan

Those in the link are very much better

I was thinking the same franbern, if it is the mortgage survey then they ain`t half motoring. Then again they will want to know early on if they can get the money. Its a bit fingers crossed time but will be all steam ahead very soon if they say ok re the finance

18th today mosaics, the potential is to want to complete by christmas. I don`t want it to take you by surprise. Could be the case if he is a highly financed business man, will want a quick turn around

Building society surveyors (for mortgage purposes), do not take so long at all. Often in and out in under an hour. They are really only interested in whether the property is of a similar price to others in the area and just look for really major structural problems. Although, I suppose there is no 'similar property' for MW's house to be compared with. I would think that the offer on your house has already taken into account much of the work that requires doing.

Thanks Franbern, when I had the survey done for me he was hours too. Freezing hail stoning day in March 2018, it was so wet he said he'd have to come back as he'd got so cold. We then had the beast from the east, so was delayed further, but as it was only for my personal use I didn't mind. I wonder if this surveyor will be as harsh - I was surprised at the criticism of my fittings. I love my kitchen, and had planned to paint it, rather than replace it. Such a waste of good wood. I expect this buyer will want me to reduce the price too, I'll have to get brave.

The young joiner has just said he'll come for a look tomorrow night, my luck is looking up regarding contact, at least!

Still not had my sandwich, been trying to match the hot water bottle stoppers with the bottles. Instructions on my new one say don't fill with newly boiled water? Being doing that for fifty odd years!

Must put my electric blanket on and have that sandwich!

mosaics don`t bother cleaning for the surveyor and find something to do while he is there, like franbern says it could be a few hours and you`ll be a twitchy cat walking on hot coals. Upside is very good news that they have arranged for a surveyor so quickly. Being so speeddy could mean wanting to get the deal done quickly so keep on with area research, atlas, tick list and RM. Looking to see if they have U3A is a good start, its a route to making friends

Surveyors are used to chatty people ie you will be brushed off, they will appreciate you being occupied apart from the one offer of a cup of tea

Would not worry too much about cleaning for the surveyor. They are not at all interested in the condition of the property in that manner, purely in the actual bricks and mortar, so as to speak.
My purchasers had a private survey - very full one, he was in my house for four hours!!
He opened and shut every door (both internal and external), and every window. Got me to unlock and raise the garage door. Flushed all three toilets, told me to run the central heating (this was in the height of summer).
He sat in the garden and used binoculars to look at the roof. Would not talk to me at all, refused offer of tea/ coffee, very efficient and distant!!!
It was the morning before I was due to attend a hospital pre-op assessment, and as much I tried to relax whilst he was there, I could feel my bp going up and up.
Just before he left I did say to him, that, whilst realising that I was not paying him, but obviously his report would effect me - could he give me some idea of any major problems, and he did say there was nothing more than he would expect in a property at that age (built 1930's), but there was plenty to put into his report.
Must say I spent the next week in a state of near panic, trying to crunch numbers in case my purchaser wanted a reduction in the purchase price. At the end he did not, saying there was nothing in that report he would not have expected.

Ha Grammaretto, I think you are right, last time I visited she had me driving her all over the place in all weathers! Unfortunately there were road works on the normal roads and we were diverted to a very high road with cliff hangers that scared me to death! I think I took her somewhere called 'The Fighting Cocks' for a birthday meal. I can't do heights at all.

Thank you for the link to the Help Exchange, looks very interesting. Lucky you having a Frenchman to move your wood, I've just huffed and puffed up the stairs with a bag!
I bet he's cold in Edinburgh, only 2 degrees here tonight.

I've just heard from the EA and have arranged for the surveyor to come next Tuesday morning so more mad cleaning to make it look its best. Unfortunately the buyer - I should call him offerer - hasn't chosen the local person I used, I don't know where he is from or if he knows the area at all.

I've been dreaming about branston pickle and am about to have a very late cheese sandwich lunch. I can't worry about the windows any more, the young joiner hasn't responded and the window man's phone is just ringing and ringing now.

Have a good evening, it's very very cold here tonight, I'm going to put my electric blanket on again.

I think your aunt wants you to live in the I.O.W mosaics
It is lovely there. Of-course lots of places are lovely. You could do worse than live near one of the GN friends on here.
What we do when we can't afford work done on the house or can't get anyone to do it,we joined Help Exchange and take volunteers for a couple of weeks at a time. It is similar to Wwoofing except you don't need a farm
It's excellent.
www.helpx.net
You can specify people with references and particular skills.
We have had such a lot of work done on our house and garden in return for bed and board and we meet such great people from all over the world.
Our current Frenchman has moved a mountain of wood this morning and made us french toast for breakfast. He's away into Edinburgh now to buy souvenirs as he leaves tomorrow.

Thanks for the encouragement craftyone We do have a very active steam train conservation society locally, but one of the men flirted with me a few years ago and I've never been near it!

I phoned the builder who did our conversion, and became a friend of my husband's - he's too busy, and the only person he knows that makes windows has just had an op. Not back in circulation until January. He wished me luck and said if he thinks of anyone he'll be in touch. I'd pinned my hopes on him knowing someone that could help, so I had a mini pity party with myself, then called the sash window specialist - home number is set to the fax machine, mobile cannot take messages. No email response.

I've got a young joiner coming to rub down and sort the wooden porch in the next few weeks, so I've just messaged him with a photo on fb and asked if he could do a temporary repair. I'm going upstairs after my coffee to use more rhino tape - the bottom sill has rotted and fallen away outside, the glass is only held up at the sides.

The EA rang this morning and I accepted the new offer of £355K. Apparently the buyer mentioned the survey yet again, I find his attitude very curious. The house is 172 years old, obviously needs the windows done, roof looks a bit dicy, is marketed as a renovation project, and the survey will reveal what else needs renovating. It is just the windows and some repairs to the roof - the damp is easily remedied but I don't want workmen here or I'd do it. Roof is about £30k to completely replace both, windows probably £20K. House originally valued at £600K if in perfect condition. I don't think he will continue when he sees the survey, he doesn't 'love' the house enough. It is such a great place to live - such big rooms with high ceilings, its history, so private and peaceful, fantastic sunsets, deer, buzzards, so many garden birds. No-one will ever overlook it, near the beach, village and 7 minutes from the railway station. As for parking, remembering our old house in London, having a drive again will be a definite must on my new home list. It's a perfect location.

Feedback from Saturday yet to come, but viewing agent said he got the impression they thought it was 'too much work'.

My 'dying' file is in a right mess, thanks for the reminder. I sold some things on ebay and got an email saying I'd been hacked, had to go through everything changing my passwords I was sorry to go through my old box of contacts this morning and see how many people I've lost over the years. My best friend from the BBC had all her previous wills revoked on her death bed in hospital, by a very distant distant relative who appeared out the woodwork. This distant distant relative scattered my friend's ashes in some anonymous daffodils in the crem, to my knowledge she didn't use any of the £500K she inherited to honour my friend with a stone. Money, definitely brings the worst out in people. Talking of money, my aunt has sent me a large cheque for Christmas - it's not all bad today!

a good old fashioned diyer would be able to do it, at least a temporary job. Its so sickening, back in the day, these diyers were on every street. I am so sorry about the mens shed idea, another crossed off. So do you have a steam train group fairly local? I belong to one down here and believe me, these keen railway-loving men would run to your aid, to help this station of yours cope with winter. Their engine sheds get full of retired men with good old fashioned practical skills. Send them a cry for help and watch old fashioned chivalry return. Nothing ventured etc and you have a special building

Today I have decided to do a further tidy and sort of my `dying tidy` file. Just simple stuff like a one page list of my bank accounts. It was kaspersky that did it, I need to renew again and my wandering mind thinking about when my husband asked me for my passwords for things. He was terrified of me dying first and having to cope on his own. My widowed brother has gone quiet, his third christmas and my 4th. He just retired and the whirlwind has died down. His wife died one year to the day after my husband. I had 3 deaths in 18 months. My sister`s husband has aspergers and is well off, he was pounced on while weeping in church, by a stranger who appeared in church after the newspaper notices. He is now married. Was quick and she squeezed between him and his 5 AC

Thanks for sharing your lovely happy story Franbern, talk about stamina and determination! I'll have to find some!

Craftyone, I can't believe it's happened, I suppose it's been rotting slowly and is in its fatal and final stages I taped the window as best I could, the wide clear rhino tape is for inside/outside use so hopefully will stay stuck. Luckily the weather is calm tonight. If the glass does fall out, I've got a huge bit of board we used to cover the upstairs fireplace when the bees decided to nest in the chimney, I'll just have to saw it to size and hammer it over the frame, like a squat! Give me strength! If the window man doesn't respond to my email tomorrow, I'm going to telephone him. He said he was busy until March, but I was waiting every day for the quote from the late August BH. Not good. I emailed him after a month, and two weeks after that, with no response at all. I often wonder if my husband was here if things would be different. Thank you for the men's shed info - unfortunately huge upset here because the person that ran it allegedly took the money and all tools, including the members personal tools, and disappeared. The roofer did tell me about someone locally who makes windows, I might take a drive down tomorrow to try and find him. More money to spend, but essential, it is as though there is a hole there, not a window.

Thank you for your message Gagagran

Sazzl, wishing you much happiness in your new area. I went to Dawlish when I was about nine, and remember my little bottle of violets perfume - and the mysterious black swans. I always hoped to see a piskie!

Mosaics really hope the offer goes through for you and you find somewhere nice to move to. We're going to South Devon. We fell in love with the villages and coastal towns of Dawlish and Teignmouth after putting our touring caravan on a site there 4 years ago. We have stayed here in all weathers hail, sun, torrential rain, high winds etc and still want to live here. My breathing is much better here as there is less pollution than the city we came from. OH loves the countryside and it's ideal for our dogs. Many shops cafes and pubs welcome dogs here which is a bonus, and property is much cheaper. Also we have a couple of friends here too which helps.
Really empathise with those moving on their own as OH worked away a lot of the time during our marriage, up to 9 months at a time, sometimes abroad. It's hard when things go wrong or breakdown. Or when you are ill. Spent the weekend with our daughter who is on her own with DGD age 5 and still unwell but a bit better than last week. It's a 2 hour drive 100 miles. Son and daughter have both said they will visit over Xmas which is nice. Won't be able to visit then as my dog's puppies are due beginning of December.
All the best to everyone on here xxx

Mosaics I have sent you a PM.

Franbern we cross posted, that tale was very uplifting, the way that fate took a hand and it all fell into place. Where there is a will, there is a way. They did good

mosaics, just an idea, I do think that there are very many competent diy ers out there who would willingly help, eg in my carving group there are several thinking and careful engineers who are darn good at solving these urgent problems and who like to help. Mens sheds, have a look see, maybe there is one not too far away. If so tentatively ask there for help. I wish I were closer, that window needs something to hold it together, putty/cling film. If you are able, gently put cling film over the glass and use a hair dryer to shrink it and to help give it a little strength.

I cannot bear you having to sort this aged house on your own

My youngest daughter went to live in Northern Ireland to be with her boyfriend. Eventually, they married and had two little girls. Her hubbie had been born and raised in that part of the world, ran the family business, taking over completely when his father retired. He also had a son, from a previous relationship whom they saw at least twice a week.
As time went on, my daughter fell out of love with that part of the UK an desperately wanted to get back to England, specifically to the South Coast, as near as possible to Brighton where here twin sister lived.
Obviously, house prices are very different, and they had new build 4-bedroom detached property, and hubbie had his business, his son, his parents and his whole previous life.
The logistics of such a move seemed impossible, but my daughter has always had a very determined streak
Just prior to Christmas 2017, she phoned me to say she was going for a job interview in Eastbourne. She got that job and they agreed to wait until June 2018 for her start in her new post.
Her husband agreed with this move, and they had six months of chaotic arrangements. Put their own house on the market, Hubbie managed to sell the business, son was now of working age and leading his own life,.
Two mad weekend trips to Eastbourne to arrange a house rental as without an address they could not get the girls into school there.
They moved at the end of May 2018 to this rented house, their own sale fell through a couple of weeks later, but their EA managed to get it re-sold within a few days.
Daughter started her new job, girls started school with only a few weeks to go to the long summer holiday, husband started to look for his first-ever employment!
As the rented house was only for six months they also had to start house-hunting.,
Makes most our journeys seem very mild - not sure how they got through that.
But they did, Hubbie found perfect job as Manager of a firm almost identical to the one he had owned and run in Ireland. Girls settled into their new schools, daughter in her new job,.
They were desperate to get out of the rented house, as with cream carpet throughout it was difficult with two young children - Finally in December that year their house in Ireland finally exchanged and they had found a new build in Eastbourne and made that second move just before Christmas.,
They are now very settled and happy and sorted - obviously they are much younger than any of us - Both in their forties - still it was an incredible year for them.

Evening all, lovely to read all your news. Interesting about changing the locks - I was a bit shocked when a 'friend' who dropped me like a hot brick when my husband died announced she had a key to my house! I remembered I'd given it to her 13 years ago when I had a job with shifts, in case the kids ever got locked out. Luckily I've had the front door lock changed since then.

How interesting you are in that area Ellianne, thank you for your kind offer! I had a look around there because I went onto Mumsnet to see what experiences people have of moving area, I'm amazed at the number of people moving around the country with their children. There are some interesting insights into different communities. I don't like driving at all and do want to find somewhere with a good bus service. Roll on my pension and bus pass!

I've just had a horrible experience - I bought some clear rhino tape today for the window in my daughter's bedroom as I only had sellotape for the 'emergency' draught proofing. As I pressed the tape on, the window glass nearly fell out, I was so shocked it was so fragile. I've emailed the sash window specialist who came at the end of August and asked if he knows of anyone that can help me urgently! Managed to stick the tape on very gently, put a long wheat heat bag on the bottom of the sill to stablise it, and pulled the blind down. The difficulty with this window is that one half is in her bedroom, the other half in the bathroom, separated by a fake wall. Not sure how they are going to work around the wall inbetween, I'm glad he's so experienced.

I saw my friend who works at the EA at the beach today, she was really encouraging and positive. It did cheer me up, I know I am being far too impatient. I am having a 'lonely' day and miss doing things for my daughter. She's back Tuesday night, and doesn't start work until the week after. At least I can hog the sofa tonight!

Morning everyone!

Thanks all for comments on changing the locks. I did the previous ones myself and it was pretty easy so I will do that soon. Not so much the worry of someone breaking in when I'm out, more a worry of them being able to get in if I'm here! Maybe being paranoid.

Mosaicwarts - How did the viewing go? I agree how useful it is to be able to do a virtual walk or drive round places. I too have become less confident with driving long distances and worried tremendously each time I did the 200 miles from where I used to live to where I am now in Cornwall. I purposely chose the village I have come to as there is a regular bus service as well as having a Drs surgery, Library and some decent shops and cafes. Depending on when your sale goes through you might be able to get an out of season holiday rental at a good price for a couple of months.

Whiff - I'm thinking of changing the front door to a composite one but not till the Spring as there is a lot of other things I want to do first. Glad to hear you like your one.

Franbern - how lovely that your GS can drop in like that. It really seems like this move was the right one for you.

Sazzle - I know some people do take a lot of fittings with them but the wood-burner! Goodness it would hardly seem worth the effort of having it disconnected and moved. I left my previous one behind and will get a new one here. Good luck with the move this coming week.

very important to find some area that is future proofed ie not isolated, buses, shops within walking. None of us want to move ever again and being widowed, we only have ourselves to rely on. I was in a pretty village and that is lovely for a couple but `sigh` we have to be realistic. Seaside towns can be pretty bleak in winter and full of tourists in summer. Devon roads get manic in summer and it becomes a touristy area. Plan for the worst and hope for the best. Me, I planned for eyesight deterioration, just in case

Mosaic, as well as East Sussex, most Kent seaside towns are quite cheap, some definitely cheaper than Sussex and do have direct trains to London.

Is there any way you could move somewhere where you didn't have to drive much mosaicwarts? It sounds like driving and cars generally are a big worry for you.
Good luck with viewings or maybe the current offer will all work out. I hope so!

That's funny mosaicwarts I have just moved to the Ottery/Sidmouth area. What's not to like? Definitely no motorways for you to worry about! Lots of pretty villages around, peaceful lifestyle. Sea views are difficult to find but the gentle hills with red soil are lovely. I'll willingly be your location advisor in this neck of the woods!! We are 100% delighted with our choice.

Morning all, cold and a bit sunny here this morning.

I stayed up far too late last night and had two cups of tea, then couldn't sleep until the early hours, feel dreadful this morning. I'm not sure if it's because I fell asleep in the afternoon, or anxiety. My daughter and neighbours are away, after the theft from my courtyard I think I've got the jitters.

I also feel upset that my BIL has ignored my fb request message for over a week. I asked if I could pay for him to copy the photos of my husband as a child - he sent a 'scan' of them just after my husband died. As they were put on the scanner all together you can't enlarge just one of them. He took all of the photo albums when my MIL passed. He doesn't bother with my kids at all which makes me very sad, but my kids do appreciate his life with his young adopted son, who has severe learning difficulties, is very busy. All we hear from them is a tiny Christmas card each year, with their names on, written by my SIL I do have expectations of him as he is a vicar, disappointing.

I went on the web last night and looked at lots of different places suggested - Somerset, Devon and Hastings. I went on Google maps - and did practise drives to the beach from various villages using the satellite feature. So clever! I've a terror of fly overs and motorways at the moment, I will have some driving lessons when I move to try and overcome my fears. Ottery St Mary to Sidmouth beach not too bad but I don't like the beach front, too near the road. My grandparents lived in Leigh on Sea - I was astounded at how built up it is now. I'm going to start a notebook so I can do my research in an organised way.

I'm off to the beach with my patient doggie, then I've got the dreaded checking the air in my tyres job as I felt I was skidding on the bends, but will remember my hand wipes today! Then returning some items to Superdrug. Then I must sellotape another window, I've been putting it off as I have to stand in the bath.

Have a great day.

Yes whiff, we are learning to live with it, also feeling blessed to have had a good amount of time together. Soon after the funeral, I went to wells on the bus, first time to wells on the bus, I just had to get out. I sat close behind 2 older women who looked like widows. I actually asked them after we alighted and yes, widowed a long time, each of them. All I wanted to know was `does it get better?` no they said but you learn to live with it. That is all we can hope for, that we get that equilibrium in our lives, so we can put one foot in front of the other and have enough strength not to sit in a corner day after day