Help, calm me. House buying and selling stress

This morning we sent everything via email that estate agent had asked for. Then came later a standard letter asking for stuff (2 lists) that not many would not be able to get. eg Passport etc verified by either doctor! bank manager! accountant! We rarely go to the doctor (yet) and he/she changes weekly. No accountant. Who has a bank manager these days? On the other list, did not mention at all pension notice, or anything like that. Women who have been married a long time are rarely named on utility bills. To get proof of being on electoral roll, would have to wait for council to get into gear. Have just thrown away Euro pink voting slip, as we did a postal vote. DH, who is out, then receives an email saying everything is ok! Huh....

Oh how I feel for you. Hope it all gets sorted.

I will join you in those exact sentiments. I have lived a frugal life, all my life and always with an eye to the future, without salaries income. Once upon a time, a holiday was simple camping and a treat at night was a cake. Much of our furniture was second hand. We managed to start saving in our fifties and we did save, hence the cash to be able to buy a nice modest house, all the time.e hoping that our house sale would soon follow and it did, with a clear 2 weeks to get moved out

I felt more of a criminal today, the completion money is in and I am trying to move it back into savings accounts but the Halifax has a fairly low daily limit. My third day of moving some onto a building society and they were going to block my account, unless i rang a given number. I then had to go through a very hefty fraud check all sorts of questions with dates. Us innocents are suffering because of money laundering criminals

Thank you . I think many of us feel the same. We had nothing when we got married. Anything we have we worked for. Now we might be giving stuff away!

Riversidegirl, I have kept my head down with financial matters but I have been aware that in the press over the years there has been a bit of bashing/bitching of those of us who have lead modest lives and been a bit careful but now thankfully can afford the odd holiday and ensure we have a comfortable future. Dh worked hard in a profession he had to train long and hard for and I worked PT, we saved for holidays and for when we wanted to buy a new carpet or sofa. We viewed credit cards as a useful tool but never got into debt etc etc. Yet nowadays we are made to feel guilty for being 'comfortable' and for making sure we can pay our way. Enjoy your choices and good luck!

Thanks HildaW..... I know I'm taking it personally, can't help it! Plus we are going on holiday, just 10 days after we found the new place. So we've had to make a quick decision, fingers crossed we have done the right thing. Just 2 days left to try and see the solicitor and get the money sorted out.

Riversidegirl, Please do not take it personally we went through this as we too preferred to buy a newly released new build and sell later. We are not especially well off it was just fortunate that we had not put all our money into our house as we had moved to a very rural and therefore less expensive area. Perhaps you are being a bit too sensitive, its a perfectly decent way to go about buying a home you know will really suit. The things you mention that EAs need to see are more about establishing identity...and then if you are 'cash' buyers they do need proof of funds for their clients. If you look at it from the vendors point of view you do not want to accept a firm offer from someone only to find out.....as many do.....that the prospective purchasers are being less than honest.
Its true that all these rules are about potential money laundering and that the real culprits probably get away with it....but hey ho.....small price to pay if its the house you will be in for the rest of your foreseeable. Do not feel offended - just enjoy choosing the house you really want and being in a strong position to buy it. On paper a 'cash' buyer is always a great option for any vendor.

And all this government talk of making it easier for us old folk to leave our big houses and downsize is rubbish. Can't get a mortgage, or a bridging loan at reasonable rates , despite having an income.

I have a dread of selling and then having to find somewhere that I would like to stay for the rest of my life in a hurry!
We got together enough money to buy a small bungalow before selling our home of 35 years (downsizing and nearer children) but feel we are being treated like money launderers and criminals because we are paying "cash"....it's not cash is it, wads of fivers! Do we really have to show the estate agent all our private investment details? Passport, rates, pension statement etc?

Thank you midgey, the mental stress turned to physical stress. Removers were excellent but it is still down to me alone to get things put away, I have shoved things into any space I could find, simply to get some areas of free movement. Now my hands are still aching and so are my shoulders after all that lifting, my nails and fingers are shot, lots of white bits on nails, a physical sign that made me say woah. I started eating properly again yesterday and went from temporary 2 a day to the 5 and need to get back up to the 8-12 that I normally eat

Now back to the paperwork and I have to go into my bank to change my address, I have to telephone the other bank. I let both councils know, the present one kept me on hold for 30 minutes, disgraceful. No bins yet and slowly, the delivery people are finding me, new build so post code is not working

Almost a disaster yesterday, accidentally locked my car key in the boot, the boot which automatically locks. Asked my husband where on earth was my spare key and went straight to it, in a suitcase in my bedroom. I think this is linked to the small fluffy white feather that I found on the half landing when I was doing a final check on the house I was leaving. Some of you know where I am coming from, I always get help, never lose anything any more and alays see a fluffy white feather when I need it

Today, I have to ring the bank, go to the tip, go to another bank and then treat myself with a visit to a large furniture store and buy a bookcase to fit behind my kitchen door. They have them in stock

No tv yet, no aerial yet and it will have to be in the loft. My near neighbour seems nice, male on his own but I tread very cautiously. Will never trust a stranger, especially one that is a little over helpful and mentions the price of gold, who is friends with the EA, who had to see my financial details before buying this house. He has no idea that I am ultra financially savvy, having traded in the past and managed my husbands pension. I come across as this little older lady and that is the impression that I want to give, not that of the astute mind

for all of you! Do hope that you are beginning to settle and life is on the up again.

I admit that I am pushing myself right now, if I leave the boxes and many bags and suitcases out then I would be falling over them to kingdom come. There will be a nice recovery period when the 2 big fitted cupboards are done mid June. At the moment I am basically stuffing things anywhere I can find a space, not tidy not sorted. I will happily spend the next few months doing the final positioning.

I second what Hilda said, that the time to downsize is before the move because you can be the most organised but when push comes to shove and a remover says 'where do you want this?' you end up saying 'anywhere there is a space

I used to enjoy swimming but am not a fan of modern swimming facilities, all that communal changing puts me off! Years ago the lovely old fashioned swimming pool where we lived had 'Ladies nights' and you could really relax and just do your lengths and stop for a natter without being swamped by blokes or having to avert your eyes when they stood around posing. There was a lovely supportive atmosphere but when the place was deemed too old fashioned a new leisure centre was built with open changing areas and glass walls everywhere.....no where to hide. Hey ho.
Oh the joys of unpacking - I must admit that if you do not push yourself to get it done is does become daunting, hence the downsizing really needs to be done before you move. The joy of realising you have flattened the last box!
Our garage is still full of 'stuff' at the moment some will go in the shed...when it arrives in June and some is destined for DD but she's a bit preoccupied at the moment. I do hate stuff just lurking but at least I can close garage door and pretend its not there.
P.S. find a couple of smaller plates/bowls....sounds silly but just going down a few cms can really make a difference.

Funny you saying about unpacking rubysong. When we moved here I was overwhelmed by the state of the place, and didn't unpack properly for ages. There just wasn't anywhere to put things until we'd purchased them and at the time the children had a LOT of toys.

A very snooty neighbour babysat one evening and upon our return said, good luck with your unpacking, I always endeavour to unpack on the day I move, or at least by the next evening! Needless to say we didn't ask her to babysit again, so very judgemental.

Congratulations Craftyone it has been a long haul for you. I hope you will be very happy. Do not wear yourself out unpacking. You need to take your time and relax a bit now you are in. We moved last year so I know how much hard work it involves, and our move was straightforward (half a mile in distance) and the are two of us but it was hard work.

Trouble is that swimming is wet. I am getting my bike out next fine day. Got to get back to some sort of normal. First downsizing at an ever escalating pace then getting the house ready to sell then dealing with the dreadful process and dishonest people, then packing which starts neatly and ends up jamming things into boxes. Then the whole stressful move. Hilda, as you well know, it had been an utterly dreadful process. I even hated the house hunting

Congratulations Craftyone, wishing you every happiness in your new home.

HildaW can you swim? I can't but all my friends can, and say it has helped them keep their weight down. I walk my dog three times a day but do overeat. I saw a healthy eating programme where it said portion sizes are far too large now and a portion should be the size of the palm of your hand. I'm just about to have veg sausages and mash with a football sized portion of mash! It's freezing here!

xx

craftyone....has definitely affected my eating habits, had a health check the other day...signing on at new doctors they offered one. Have put on half a stone and BP is causing concern for the first time ever...have got to have some investigations. My sleep is beginning to improve but am dreaming some really vivid stuff at the moment....my brain working through the stress I suppose.
I need to find somewhere to do some gentle exercise, I know it helps but I'm not good in organised classes as I have a left/right confusion that gets worse under stress. I can never follow instructions in a group and it all gets a bit embarrassing and far from relaxing. I am so glad you are getting sorted, finally getting shot of the previous house is the best release.....knowing that its now out of one's hands is lovely. Hope you can wind down now.

I was just going to say that it has affected eating sleeping and exercise and the nails on my right hand have so many awful white splodges, not usual for me

I have been tested to the extreme and not just by my buyer but how I manage to drill holes in walls and get things away into a much smaller space. I am surrounded by boxes but at least i have my own bed back. I will never move again, never

Suddenly today, I am all moved in. Today I also exchanged on the house I am leaving, with completion in 2 days. Back and forth to the tip, car fully loaded and I get a tyre problem. Time to test my new location, 1 mile, lovely man has booked a repair. To my delight, my solicitor has a branch very close to home, a doc to sign.

I never would have believed what I am about to say but this house stress, doing it all as a single person, has been utterly stressful and worse than when my husband died. There have been so very many twists and turns and knockbacks and dependent on so many people, some of whom let you down

Just popped in to see how you all are - sorry you are stressed HildaW. Computer generated 'mistake' letters are such a waste of paper aren't they.

I'm off to see my counsellor for the second time today, I hope she doesn't upset me again. I wish I could find the letter from my late husband's MIL, but do think he probably destroyed it.

I'm trying to leave the house in an almost viewing ready condition at all times now. No viewings this week yet.

Have a good week!

Honestly you think you have cleared all the stress from moving and something arrives in the post. Its nothing much but when you are still over sensitive.....will I ever truly be back to 'normal'?.......it only takes something small to get you worried again.
Any road up....two letters in post this morning both from previous house's water suppliers.....one thanking us for final clearing balance...t'other demanding to know why we have cancelled direct debit and wanting an explanation! Honestly, wish these folks would realise the effect this missives can have on us old(ish) and fragile!
Is it any wonder the health check at the new Drs surgery has identified a rather high blood pressure reading that needs investigating!! Am all set to be wired up for the day to check.....sheesh!

The big moving day today, I must o Lynn use a van and 2 men, they are wonderful. Garage/workshop is done. I have personally made 14 trips in my capacious car, it has helped me a lot, staggering the unpacking. Slept on an aetobed for 12 nights, real bed tonight. Men have been on holidays

Drafted wet tomorrow, hence extra trips yesterday don't want rain Mark's on my nice wood or leather. Hoping to get all furniture shifted on 2 trips today and boxes tomorrow

Rampant sore left shoulder, paracetamol taken. I need to stretch on my teeter, feel inches shorter and pretty tired. Need cycling and fresh air

Mosaic. A property auction and a special estate agent who would market it in all the train magazines. It would be fine and dusted, no faff and you would have a safe reserve

Chewbacca, that is a nightmare horror story

remastering? Replastering!