Severe Health Anxiety

“One thing that might work is to jot down symptoms as they arise, and date them. Then, when they recur you can look back and remember that you've had that before but got better, and the 'real' disease would only have got worse. Repeating this over and over will eventually make you realise you are not physically ill, and will switch off that reflex in your brain”
That’s really good advice Doodledog. I sometimes come across health issues that I’ve written about on here and had completely forgotten about.

What if ………. None of those things happen.

I am reading a book by Professor Steve Peters called;
‘Mind Management’ which so far I find interesting

You do not need to retire in two years if you don't want to. I am 3 years beyond retirement age and am still working full time. I also work in admin, which isn't a physically hard job.

I have had a couple of health issues over the last two years. I know myself that if I dwell on them, it makes it so much worse.

I find going out for a walk helps me, weather permitting.

As you live alone, would you consider getting a small dog. It would motivate you to go out for a walk and other dog walkers are generally friendly. Having another warm body in the room also helps when you are feeling alone - the dog I mean, sorry

Catastrophizing is a well known cognitive anxiety disorder, CBT is generally very helpful in helping the person with coping strategies.
I’d suggest Citygirl you find a counsellor who is experienced in this area and can ‘handhold’ you through the CBT, either f2f or on video calls.
I can only urge you to persevere, you’ll end up with a your own toolbox of strategies, but it takes time. Good luck.

Have you considered HRT.

I found a book called The Way Out by Alan Gordon good for worries about health, anxiety and chronic pain. Obviously you need to get any health issues checked out first but if pain still continues long after it should then this book offers a way you can retrain your brain. It worked for me for my chronic back pain that had lasted nearly a year. Gordon has a Facebook page and there are podcasts. I got the book free on an audible trial.
There are also lots of reviews of the The Way Out book on YouTube.

Citygirl1 So I do not know about stress and depression? Well my DH died suddenly a fortnight. ago. He had had the first symptoms of his illness about 15 years ago, but would not acknowledge them, then did, then had a heart attack during COVID followed by hospital sourced further medical problems etc etc. So for the last 15 years. My first task each morning was to check DH had not died in the night. As his illnesses got worse, I was checking might and morning and in the night if I woke, until one night when on holiday, I woke to find he had gone down stairs so I went to see what the matter was and as I went down the stairs I saw him lying on the floor and I knew the inevitable had finally happened. I am finding this a tiny bit stressful,

Then, of course, during DH's illness, the NHS had a good concerted effort to kill DD by forgetting to order a key test during a telephone appointment and then refusing to see her or order the test when she rang in with alarming symptoms. She ended up being critically ill. 'critical' means 'may not survive'. I found that a little bit stressful.

More to the point when I was a child, until the age of 13 I had a bowel problem that caused faecal incontinence. You can imagine what that was like at school. During those years I formulated a philosophy of never making a bad situation worse. However bad you felt, how scared or unhappy. Do nothing to make the situation worse. Where possible look for something to at least stabilise the situation. It might be no more than just staying tranquil and suffering silently. But I never make things worse by not doing things that would help, no matter how bad I feel.

In future think a bit and verify your facts before saying of anybody I don't think you understand what stress and depression is like. You really do not know their lives and they could well be offering their advice from the depth of experience.

I am sorry to hear about your anxiety. I too am anxious. I suffer from various aches and pains mostly caused by a spinal injury from a fall in a badminton game.I see a hands on highly qualified physiotherapist. She sorts me out and sets me straight every time I see her. Worth every penny.

Consider rescuing or fostering a(n older) dog or cat.
They take you out of your internal thoughts. Best things ever. Use a good rescue and they will always take them back if yo became unable to look after them.

Why do you have to retire in 2 years?

@Doodledog " You have my sympathy - as I say, the ridicule from some quarters is almost as bad as the condition - but even without that, *you are going through the same feelings as someone who does have the diseases you imagine. "

No, she is not.

"The fact that you don't have them is neither here nor there - in your head you do, so you feel the same feelings.*"

How very fortunate you must be, to believe that.

IME, the opposite is true. There is no comparison.

Imaginary/unfounded fears/anxiety are absolutely NOTHING LIKE being faced with the real thing; the cancer diagnosis, permanent organ failure, the no-going-back life-changing treatment; the "we're very sorry" terminal prognosis.

Health anxiety can be crippling. Have you asked your GP for referral to therapy to help with it? Or you could look into finding it yourself if your budget allows. Hypnosis is another possibility that might be able to train your brain to think of something else when the obsessional thinking sets in.

It's very difficult for others to advise, as we don't know your circumstances. Things like U3A are great if there is one you can get to easily, for instance. If there's not, or if you don't have access to transport, it is pointless to suggest them.

Sometimes, health or other 'specific' anxieties crop up because the sufferer is (inadvertently) channeling other worries into one more defined anxiety, and it goes into overdrive. It's easier (ironically) to worry about illness than to deal mentally with more 'free floating' anxieties, but then the health anxiety feeds on itself. It's not helped by the fact that the symptoms of stress ca mimic the symptoms of feared diseases.

One thing that might work is to jot down symptoms as they arise, and date them. Then, when they recur you can look back and remember that you've had that before but got better, and the 'real' disease would only have got worse. Repeating this over and over will eventually make you realise you are not physically ill, and will switch off that reflex in your brain.

In my 30s I suffered with HA, and the above worked for me. It takes a while, as you need the ability to 'look back' to convince yourself that it really is all in your mind.

There is a series of books by Dr Claire Weekes, which deal with this sort of thing. They are designed to be read through brain fog, so you need to bear with the repetition and very 'easy' way of writing, but they do reiterate the message that anxiety causes real physical symptoms that mimic those of diseases. Many people don't recognise this, and assume that sufferers are malingerers or hypochondriacs like Dot Cotton in Eastenders. That is not the case, and a good GP will recognise HA as a real condition in itself.

You have my sympathy - as I say, the ridicule from some quarters is almost as bad as the condition - but even without that, you are going through the same feelings as someone who does have the diseases you imagine. The fact that you don't have them is neither here nor there - in your head you do, so you feel the same feelings. Please try the jotting down thing. It's very easy to do, and can be very effective.

M0nica

Citygirl1 It is all very well having all these problems and worries but if you want to solve them you really have to make some effort yourself.

Reread your post. You tell us your worries and fears and then you say I will also add that my sleep pattern is erratic as I often go to bed late and then have to get up for work the next morning. My diet is poor because I can’t be bothered to cook for myself when I get home from work.

Well the first thing you could do is discipline yourself so that your sleep is not erratic and make sure you eat a healthy diet.
I fully understand not wanting to cook when you get home from work. So do a bit of planning, have ready meals a couple of evenings a week. At the weekends make double or treble portions of whatever you eat and freeze then.

In other words you cannot really expect others to deal with your current problems when there are simple self-help measures you can take that will help your mental troubles, but you can't be bothered to take them.

I notice that most of the interests and hobbies you have are solitary or inward looking. What you need to do is develop interests that take you out of the house and brings you into contact with there people. I wonder how big your social circle is at the moment and whether, outside work, you live a fairly solitary life, that is a statement, not a criticism.

There is a wide range of things you can do that will take you out of your flat and mix with other people. Join organisations like U3A. Google your local town and volunteering and see what comes up. You will be amazed by the variety of opportunities open to volunteers. You could find a charity looking for someone with your job skills.

More practically you might well benefit from a course of CBT (Cognitive Behavioural Therapy). This therapy is aimed at people, like you, who have got trapped into negative thinking cycles and helps them break these thought patterns. Again, google for such courses local to you. These courses can be can be one-to-one or group.

But you do need to take the actions necessary to get involved yourself. No one is going to scoop you up and present you with a set of activities.

I am saying this politely but I don't think you understand what stress and depression is like.

It's not that I can't be bothered to cook etc, I don't have the motivation and that occurs with depression and anxiety.

I do have friends, family and a social life and the hobbies I do alone is what I do when I am at home in the evening watching the television.

I do see friends at weekends and when I am on leave. I'm not a solitary person.

I haven't got time to join groups now but I will do when I retire. I have been given information about U3A and I will join when I am retired.

I agree joining some U3A groups will get you out of the house and mixing with others. You may get involved in something that requires planning or organising, and that will keep your mind occupied.

I'm sure when you're retired you'll find plenty of sporting, walking or group activities to get involved in. And don't forget there's also voluntary work. Never a dull moment.

I'd be very surprised if you really have finished your family history. Have you gone back to the 1700s for all 32 families? It's really not that difficult because the 1800s are a doddle with all the census, baptism, burial and even marriage registrations online. I always buy birth certificates but its not always necessary to buy marriage certificates now which saves a fortune. If you're really lucky you will meet up with a helpful relative and can exchange photos of your ancestors. I've exchanged with people as far away as New Zealand and Tasmania, plus the USA of course. Then you need to write up your ancestors' stories nicely with photos and print for your file. I have 12 Lever Arch files but I still don't feel anywhere near finished. Keep looking!

Citygirl1 It is all very well having all these problems and worries but if you want to solve them you really have to make some effort yourself.

Reread your post. You tell us your worries and fears and then you say I will also add that my sleep pattern is erratic as I often go to bed late and then have to get up for work the next morning. My diet is poor because I can’t be bothered to cook for myself when I get home from work.

Well the first thing you could do is discipline yourself so that your sleep is not erratic and make sure you eat a healthy diet.
I fully understand not wanting to cook when you get home from work. So do a bit of planning, have ready meals a couple of evenings a week. At the weekends make double or treble portions of whatever you eat and freeze then.

In other words you cannot really expect others to deal with your current problems when there are simple self-help measures you can take that will help your mental troubles, but you can't be bothered to take them.

I notice that most of the interests and hobbies you have are solitary or inward looking. What you need to do is develop interests that take you out of the house and brings you into contact with there people. I wonder how big your social circle is at the moment and whether, outside work, you live a fairly solitary life, that is a statement, not a criticism.

There is a wide range of things you can do that will take you out of your flat and mix with other people. Join organisations like U3A. Google your local town and volunteering and see what comes up. You will be amazed by the variety of opportunities open to volunteers. You could find a charity looking for someone with your job skills.

More practically you might well benefit from a course of CBT (Cognitive Behavioural Therapy). This therapy is aimed at people, like you, who have got trapped into negative thinking cycles and helps them break these thought patterns. Again, google for such courses local to you. These courses can be can be one-to-one or group.

But you do need to take the actions necessary to get involved yourself. No one is going to scoop you up and present you with a set of activities.

You will need to build your own days. What hobbies or interests do you have? Try to live one day at a time and enjoy the present rather than project into the future. It is something you will have to get used to when you retire.

Thank you for your replies which are very helpful.

I do my family history as someone has suggested and it is very intriguing and takes your mind off things but I have done a lot of research now, also create documents and I now feel as if I've come to a bit of a full stop with it and have lost motivation.

I also have other hobbies which are creative - knitting, drawing, rock painting etc. Again there comes the fear of not being able to do that. I have knobbly fingers now which my GP says is arthritis but I have no pain in them so that's a positive but then the what if comes in - what if I do get pain in them one day?

I fear retirement because I have always worked full time (apart from spells of unemployment as a teenager) and I do love my job. I wonder what will I will do with full free days every day. I do have friends and family but they might not be available all the time.

There is such a wealth of great knowledge here so please take on board each of their suggestions.
Look forward to enjoying your retirement. Relax (not easy), and try out different activities out of your comfort zone. 💐

I absolutely hate cooking; can’t see the point of cooking a meal if I can just have a cheese sandwich. But I have improved my diet over the past year because of diet advice and recipes I find on instagram. I even enjoy food now, something I’ve never really done. I, too am a worrier, especially when it comes to my health and whatifery. But I find that if I concentrate on something like a change of diet I feel more in control. I know you work all day but have you thought of joining a gym? One of my favourite things in life is having a sauna at the gym; it’s also good for helping with aches and pains. And I know I keep banging on about it but I listen to Jason Stephenson on utube. His get back to sleep tapes stop my whatifery.

Just to add, if you want to lose your mind completely then take up family history research. Once you get into that your mind will be constantly engaged. Go back just 5 generations and you have 32 direct ancestors and their families to research. You will become more and more engrossed in their lives, their homes, their children, their stories. Take up an Ancestry subscription and build a tree, it's all there. A wonderful distraction.

Some good advice there. You have to start with the basics of healthy diet plus a good nights sleep and exercise. Ultimately those are the core building blocks for good health.

You'll need to find a way to retrain your brain during those quiet moments when it starts wandering. Believe me, I know what it's like, a physical sense of panic which washes over you. It only seems to disappear once you focus on something else (like when you're at work). So I guess you'll just have to retrain your brain to think of something else, maybe a work related issue, plan your work day in your head or solve a work problem. Anything to keep your brain working.

If you're worrying about things that might happen, remind yourself of all the times you catastrophised about something and it turned out fine! That's what I try and do. Also, just remember that someone has been looking after you all these years, I'm sure they won't give up on you now.

You summed it up in the last sentence of your post. These things don’t bother you (or as much) when you are at work and busy.

Everybody gets aches and pains as they get older. That’s perfectly natural and can be countered by staying active, a mixture of walking, swimming, exercise classes, going to the gym. Of course, you don’t have to wait to retire to do that but once you do you will have more time to develop a routine and won’t be tired from work. You will also have more time to shop, cook and eat a better diet.

Retirement doesn't mean boredom. Why would you think it does? It just means you spend your time differently. There are plenty of volunteer opportunities and a wealth of clubs, groups and societies to join.

What do you like to do in your spare time now? If you don’t already, it sounds to me like you might benefit from engaging in a mix of gentle exercise and some hobbies you can do at home to distract you from your healthy worries. Getting lost in an arts or crafts project is great for mindfulness. Never too late to learn a new skill.

Ditto the advice butterandjam gives.

Don't focus on the future for now. There are some easy effortless ways to help yourself right now.

I think good sleep and a good nutrition, are the basis of good physical and mental health. A good diet doesn't necessarily involve much cooking.

If you like bread eggs, milk, cheese, nuts salad and fruit, you can start a healthy diet with minimal cooking.

Try going to bed an hour earlier, with the window slightly open so you spend the whole night breathing fresh air.