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Black Dog 30

(536 Posts)
Scaredycat Wed 08-Jul-26 15:53:35

Welcome. This thread is in support of those who wish to share their mental health problems as they affect their daily lives,share aspects of our lives supportively and give and take support. And is a continuation of Black Dog 29.
It’s been going for some time, so this is a jump in at the deep end.
All are welcome- don’t be put off by some of us being here long term - people come and go

Doodle Thu 13-Aug-26 19:42:34

Evening all. A quieter day today. Thank you for your good wishes.
So very hot here. Fan on full blast only blowing hot air around. My face is so hot. No air movement.
Hope all have had a good day, I’m really tired still
hVDY the vasculitis sounds very painful and uncomfortable. The heat must make it worse .is there any treatment for it?
Scaredycat so difficult to cope with this heat isn’t it. Glad you were able to get out with your poorly friend. Must have been good for her to have a change of scenery.
Ellie Anne must be very difficult being in someone else’s house in this heat away from your own things and home comforts. Hope you get home soon. Not surprised the cats are lethargic
Sweetpeasue so sorry your Dh has hip pain. Just one thing after another isn’t it. Maybe a visit to a physio might help.
This heat is unbearable isn’t it.
Wyllow what a thoughtful gift from your DIL. Much needed in this weather. Yes I go to the hospice on most anniversaries etc. I feel close to Dh there. It’s been a happy /sad week for me. I’ve had some lovely meet-ups with friends and lots of laughter but then lots of tears at home too. I miss my darling man so much.
nadateturbe thank you for your good wishes. I don’t imagine this heat is good for you either.
Take care all xx

HowVeryDareYou2 Thu 13-Aug-26 19:00:50

ScaredyCat The Vasculitis I've got affects the skin on my arms, hands, legs and feet. My lower legs are most affected. It feels like being stung by nettles. It'll settle down when the weather gets cooler. I've cooked chicken breasts for Jaffa, and he's eaten some. I bet your boys are so hot with their long fur. I hope your family members enjoy their holidays. I've never been to Turkey or America. The forecast here, for tonight, is 25 degrees at 11pm! I'll have the ceiling fan on all night.

EllieAnne Are you keeping the cats in all day and night? Hope they've got litter trays grin. Your time there sounds so lonely and miserable. When are you going home?

Although it's so hot, H decided to make Cajun chicken and rice - it wasn't that nice, but I didn't tell him grin. Going to have another shower.

Sweetpeasue Thu 13-Aug-26 18:41:18

EllieAnne It sounds like you have quite miserable surroundings too , EllieAnne so it must be very depressing overall. I wonder how long you have left before you can return. I do understand the need to drink to go to sleep and not to think. Hope it wont be long before you can return home- at least should be cooler.
Scaredycat Your friend will have loved that outing with you as much as you loved to see her enjoying it. I hope it was cooler for you in M&S.
We never took a towel or anything though nobody paddles in that stream. There are also hundreds of tiny black fish - though I dare say they would scarper if disturbed!

EllieAnne Thu 13-Aug-26 17:52:47

I think I’ve hit my lowest today. The cats are very lethargic but I know if I opened the door they would be off.
I’ve done bits of tidying and cleaning but still couldn’t live in such a messy house.
I went to Tesco. Normally I would walk there but the heat hit me as soon as I stepped outside so I took the car. I did sit outside when it clouded over but she doesn’t have any comfortable garden chairs so I didn’t stay out long.
I’ve been going to bed early to make the day go away. The heat is affecting us all I think.

Scaredycat Thu 13-Aug-26 17:33:53

Hi all
SweetPeaSue- Such lovely pics of the ponies- I think I,d have had to paddle too! Today is even hotter- almost unbearable this afternoon. I took my poorly friend out for coffee and shopping in M and S though this morning. We had such a nice time . It was so good to be out with her and see her stress go away for a while.
I,m sorry your DH has bad hip pain still - I guess he just feels that he wants one thing sorted properly instead of complicating things. But very hard for you to see him trying to cope.
Doodle- A gentle but enjoyable day for you yesterday. Prosecco and eclairs what a delicious combination. You and your nice friend know just the right way to do things. Many happy returns to you.
Wyllow- that day out would have made a very amusing film. Lovely food though and great company.
We haven’t been to either of those great houses . But we went to Hardwick Hall once on the way to my sisters - is that near you. Home of the famous Beth.
What a really kind and thoughtful gift from your DiL. You have got used to not expecting Happy Things - it’s time to listen to your internal Pep talk - you deserve Happy Things.
EllieAnne- you are gradually getting through these long and difficult days.A few drinks help you relax - not easy when you are on edge as you are at the moment. Don’t beat yourself up- you are aware that it’s exceptional circumstances.
HVDY- That was a hot day for you yesterday . A noisy.funny lovely day though with your GDs.
I,m sorry your Vasculitis has flared up - is it very painful?
I hope this lazy day helps your leg calm down a bit. Poor Jaffa he must be hot as he loves to eat doesn’t he. Our boys are just lolling about and not eating much either.
Hope your Son and family have a great time in Corfu. My GD1 and family are off to Turkey today and GD2 and fam off to Vegas on Saturday. At least they should all be acclimatised shouldn’t they🥵

Love to all - wishing a cooler night for you all but not much chance of that eh!!!

HowVeryDareYou2 Thu 13-Aug-26 16:26:45

SweetpeaSue Sorry to hear about your husband's hip being no better. It's hard to know what to take or do for it, I suppose. I was discharged from the Rheumatology department quite some time ago, so there isn't anything I can do about the Vasculitis (the Consultant I saw wasn't at all helpful or empathetic). For now, I'm taking Ibuprofen, sitting with my legs up, and applying cold flannels. It'll be ok when the weather is cooler (it's much too hot for me). Son1 and family are off to Corfu on Sunday for a week, and the forecast is 40 degrees!

HowVeryDareYou2 Thu 13-Aug-26 16:20:57

EllieAnne What a pity you can't watch any DVDs. I'm glad you've been out. It's absolutely boiling here in Nottingham - 37 degrees. I've stayed in all day. DH has been in our pool.

Wyllow3 That was good of your DIL. Have you been getting on well with each other lately? Yes, do let me know about that pub, please. I'll also tell Son2 about Haddon Hall. I hope you find someone else to sort out the roof and mould problem.

Sweetpeasue Thu 13-Aug-26 16:04:46

Heart- warming indeedWyllow 🙂
Tried to go to bed but far too hot upstairs.
We try to keep all members of close family happy but its not easy! 😟

Wyllow3 Thu 13-Aug-26 15:16:39

Curled up in bed.

Yes isn't it lovely heartwarming DIL's gift? We had not been too close, this is a sign.
Sometimes happy things happen and I don't absolutely believe in them. (gives pep lecture to self on this topic)

I'm so sorry to hear of DH's fairly constant pain x

Sweetpeasue Thu 13-Aug-26 15:11:37

Brain frazzled too Wyllow 🥵
Im like HVDY when it comes to being late - Id havebeen in a right state ( yesterday- in your shoes)
Nice of your DiL - shade for table.
HVDY Think the owners of ponies are children of travellers- seen them before riding in the trap with them.
DHs hip is bad every day. Not sure what to do about it - he feels the hip trouble will distract from his other issues so putting it off. He had xray on it weeks ago ( results mentioned spondylitic back problem).
Hope your Vasculitus isnt too painful do you need anything for it?
EllieAnne Its awful what you're having to put up with. Like Wyllow, hoping the cats are too hot to want to go out.

Read some of my book, did a bit of washing ,had a cool bath and Im still hot. This heat is dreadful. Just staying in with curtains shut.
Hope everyone else is coping.

Wyllow3 Thu 13-Aug-26 13:51:16

Not well EllieAnne
It feels like what you are doing is making the best of a very tough time. Very well done for yesterday's little outing. I'm hoping it's so hot for the cats that they are just lying around.

(I have given up on activity, except some light pottering - and but thats not surprising given energy use yesterday either. I would have headed for aircon gym.
DiL has just ordered and gifted me a good solid sunshade for my garden table, one happy bunny here ☺️ - just fitting in a delivery tomorrow).

It's a good pub price wise HVDY given the quality. Will PM you if you want it. I think they would love Haddon Hall - just google the prices before they get too enthusiastic! Apparently the best time to go is at 2.30 when the lunchtime people have left, and it's open till 4.30, last entry 3pm.

Oh, zzzz. Brain melting. I have also found out my roofer will not come to do roof tiles - poor man's marriage is breaking down, he was not pulling a fast one as I have always been thoughtful - I will need to look around - mould growing in front bedroom but of course all OK until it rains a lot in the cool.

EllieAnne Thu 13-Aug-26 09:15:58

Hvdy she has dvds but nothing to play/watch them on.
I’ve found a lot of old plays on you tube and have read a lot too. I went to a farm shop yesterday and had ice cream.
I’ve to wait in for a parcel this morning so will do some washing and cleaning. I don’t have the energy to go for walks in the heat. How do those of you further south cope with it?

HowVeryDareYou2 Thu 13-Aug-26 08:53:30

Doodle That all sounds very nice. Glad you've had such a good week so far.

EllieAnne Has your daughter got any DVDs you could watch? Or could you go out somewhere - park, cafe, shops? I expect it's the evenings that get boring and lonely, though. If having a drink helps at night, have it, so long as it's not too regular.

Wyllow3 We're going to stay in today and have a lazy & quiet day. The food you had is the type I like, too, when we go out. Haddon Hall sounds very interesting. Son2 and DIL love places like that.

Slept 10pm to 5, without waking! Fell asleep again until 8.15 - Jaffa didn't wake me at all. He's off his food, as it's already 23 degrees. Hope ALL BDers manage to have a decent day x

Wyllow3 Thu 13-Aug-26 00:01:30

Doodle I thought you may have gone to the hospice xx and glad you did.

Look all, sometimes we have to let go and have those extra drinks - or tablets, if thats what you have (and I can do).

You may feel lousy tomorrow but you have to get through the "now". Just watch out if it goes on and on for a very long time at a high level - and EllieAnne and Doodle tonight was one of those times.

Lovely to see you in nadateturbe.

Phew HVDY yes the noise levels with teenagers around and LG too are exhausting on a hot day.

(The food was the sort I like - simple, but well prepared, herbs, spices, fish, samphire, other vegetables with amazing flavours and sauces - and not expensive either. But came home and heated up a "sides for two" saag paneer...)

Haddon Hall is really pricy - (gasp) - but is an old house built between the 11th and 16th centuries, that old, kept as a family home so's lovely, old, tapestries, old oak furniture, carved, simple but exquisite, and a real feeling for lives lived - 500 years ago, gardens of the time, and of course a nice cafe.

nadateturbe Wed 12-Aug-26 22:53:30

Doodle sorry, I meant to pop in early and wish you a happy birthday. Sounds like you had a lovely day, a combination of all the places and people that mean so much to you. Prosecco and eclairs sounds delicious. Sending love xx

EllieAnne Wed 12-Aug-26 21:52:44

I m drinking too much. Half a bottle of wine anight. It’s a combination of boredom and stress.
I ve been watching a lot of old stuff on you tube Because I can’t watch anything much on my iPad or she freaks out because of no tv licence. Almost all the plays I watch have a young Pauline quirk is in most of them. So sad that she now has dementia.

Doodle Wed 12-Aug-26 21:27:43

Thank you all for your birthday wishes, I’ve had a pleasant day. Church this morning then hospice for a while. Home for Prosecco and chocolate eclairs with my friend then son and grandson came round for a while.
Still so very tired but probably the two glasses of Prosecco and one of red wine don’t help.
Take care all xx

HowVeryDareYou2 Wed 12-Aug-26 20:46:15

SweetpeaSue I bet those ponies loved the cool water. Do they belong to travellers? Hope your hussbnad's hip is better today.

ScaredyCat Hope you had a nice time with your friend. Did either of you buy anything?

Wyllow3 90 minutes late! I would have been completely stressed out - I can't bear to be late for anything. What did you have to eat? I don't know Haddon Hall, but have been to Chatsworth, which is great at Christmas.

Hope you and the cats are ok, EllieAnne

All 3 GDs were here, 9-4 (LG until her dad fetched her at 6.30. We love having them here - but all 3 are so very loud! They're all very entertaining, too. This weather is too much for me - at 8.30 it's still 27 degrees! My Vasculitis has flared up (tiny pinprick burst blood vessels on lower legs and hands today). Love to all x

Wyllow3 Wed 12-Aug-26 20:24:07

Scaredycat I think it was hotter where you were. I imagine you and the boys stretched out hopefully with a fan. I bit of retail therapy - with aircon? Is an excellent option for someone who doesn’t get out much and needs some friendly strolling with people watching and shops to look at.

It’s so frustrating to lose a long post, HVDY. A LG day as well, that takes energy in the heat.

Doodle - loving wishes on your actual birthday xx

I love those pictures, Sweetpeasue I think I would have paddled at the very least and be tempted for more.

I had spectacularly curious day in terms of mess-ups but crazy fun. My friend had two German friends staying, and we had to set out in two cars.
First of all we had to go via my house, as I had forgotten my hearing aids, then friend went the (very long) way round to get to the pub.

I was with the German wife, whose English is very good, and we got on really well from the start, hots of laughter level and sharing stuff. Eventually made it to the pub. I t was a very nice meal, but the delays had made it impossible to go to where was intended, which HVDY might know, which was Haddon Hall.

So went for a Chatsworth walk instead, a shady one. Lovely. I think we were all enjoying the company and scenery around more.

Set out in two cars, and this time I messed up followed the wrong car, toured another small town in the rush hour, chatting along gaily at how the houses and shops were different etc. Ooo look at this and that.

Long story short: they had gone the right way to a pub just for a coffee: we had followed the wrong car: I had taken the wrong road at the crucial roundabout, and after some phone calls realised we had been following the wrong car, I hadn’t looked out for road signs, and they were waiting

and I was 1.5 hours late 🙄

It was a complete mess up and I found it incredibly funny, but friend in the other car had imagined a break down. A delightful couple however,

I’m just extremely tired. Early night.

Sweetpeasue Wed 12-Aug-26 19:41:50

Just come in to say a HAPPY BIRTHDAY
Doodle 💐🎂 xx

Its certainly hot here too HVDY though not as hot as in the midlands and south.
On a small walk today with F saw these lovely ponies cooling off.
May not come back later but hoping all have had a decent day. Love to all.xx

HowVeryDareYou2 Wed 12-Aug-26 16:29:56

My long post last night disappeared! Boiling hot here (32). We took two GDs home at 3.30. Just awaiting for Son2 to turn up for dinner (salad and bits) and then take LG home. Back later.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY, Doodle x

Scaredycat Wed 12-Aug-26 14:25:39

Doodle- glad you had a lovely day yesterday and hope there is more to come today. Happy Birthday I believe.🎂🎂🎂🎂🍸🍸🍸
SweetPeaSue- Ah so sorry your DH has more pain in his hip- it’s one thing after another poor man.
Phew it’s a hottie today- it just drains away your energy doesn’t it. The boys and both of us are indoors as it’s unbearable outside. Such a shame cos it’s the most beautiful Summer but just too hot🥵
I,m glad you’re enjoying your DGS company- it’s so nice to have proper talks and learn things from each other. He will enjoy Wales and you will experience it through his eyes.
HVDY- Hope the girls are not too hot today and LG has recovered from her protest.
It’s the sort of day for somewhere watery and buckets of ice
cream. I,m good for nothing today after our day out yesterday but wouldn’t have missed it for the world.
EllieAnne- hope the cats are behaving themselves. Mine just loll about in this heat so hopefully the 3;of them are just
Chillin.
Do hope you,ve managed to get out and do a few things for yourself.
Wyllow- my friends DS lives on the next road to hers so can see her without driving. But he is one of the drivers she needs to call on for appointments etc. we will all do what we can to help .
I,m taking her out for coffee and a gentle bit of retail therapy tomorrow. It’s only 5 minutes in the car.
You accomplished a lot yesterday - hope you slept well so you have plenty of energy for today. It sounds like a perfect day.

Love to all XX

Wyllow3 Wed 12-Aug-26 09:49:58

It's going to be a scorcher, and I've committed to going out for lunch with a friend and then a lovely historical old house.

Hoping they have air com in the pub, but hardly in the historical old house. It's forever since I have visited it tho, and it's a delight.

Wyllow3 Tue 11-Aug-26 21:07:31

It must have been a much needed snooze your body telling you just how needful it was EllieAnne

I guess the heat gets to the little ones too, HVDY. A really super day out for her, tho.

Its was truly good to hear of your day out, Scaredycat. And the families running in and out of the water and building sandcastles….it is one thing after another with your friends and families at the moment however. Not being able to drive will make it harder for her to visit your friend?
I hope it is nice next Monday when you meet up.

Yes it is hot, Doodle. You all take it easy on your outings this week. X

Aw, sorry to hear that DH has that severe pain, Sweetpeasue. I hope it eases soon.
But oh, how lovely with your DGS. It’s a lovely age when they chat away interested in this and that 😊.

Well.. I dragged myself to the gym at 3ish and am so glad, as soon as I walked in the air com hit me and I perked up, and maybe the morning taking it easy was enough. Bumped into 4 natterers and got some good advice on Sciatica type stuff from a young trainer (just a bit, under control due to the exercises I do), but it reappears after a sleep as I like to sleep on my side.

I went then and did the big shop - another aircom experience and cooler than the gym, then such a lovely Q zoom. Early night I think, got a big outing with a friend tomorrow.

Best sleeps, BD’s, present, and reading.

Sweetpeasue Tue 11-Aug-26 19:31:53

Nadateturbe Ooh ,even the ordinary BP monitors really hurt while on. Never had anything that takes BP like that and needs to be on all night- it must have been horrible. Dont blame you for taking it off in the early hrs. Youve done your best ,and I agree - whats the point of taking BP readings when you're upset and hassled? Its not going to be a true reading. Hugs for you.

HVDY That must have upset you a bit - hearing LG getting a uptight and crying. Youve had such a full day and LG must have loved every minute.
Wyllow Dont blame you for having a quiet day after your trip to famy. So.etimes it can be exhausting trying to 'do the right things' when you're away . Im so glad its been a good visit.
Scaredycat DH not dad dancing today. His hip is really bad and he was in pain when we took DGS out ,he used a stick.
Oh I dont envy you the heatwaves where you are - it must be unbearable. Glad there was some relief at the sea-side.
EllieAnne I dont see you have much choice but to keep the cats in when you're afraid theyll go wandering, though I bet they'd soon return for food. Awful that you're so stressed with it all. 'This too will pass' as they say and I hope you can get some r&r while you're there. Shame you had to go back after you were enjoying some time away from the house.
Doodle Hope youve had another nice day with your friends.

Lovely to be with DGS and he's enjoying chatting to us now about things. Growing up so fast. Hes looking forward to joining us for a few dys in Wales( son and DIL coming down to stop with us) Hope everything goes OK.
DH not great today.
Wishing all a peaceful night.x