AC having major surgery - support please

Oh my goodness, my very best wishes to your child, and to you having such a stressful time.

My heart goes out to you. The worry and stress can be very upsetting. Be strong for your AC and be there to support them. I recently went through my brother in his 50's be very ill and in ICU. To watch my Mum cope at such a difficult time was very upsetting. We were all so worried. You just have to be strong and take time out for yourself. Personally I'd make sure you understand the operation and be as positive as you can be. Hope it goes really well for your child.

Hi Andy my heart goes out to you too. I have an AC awaiting a surgery date, also major, and I'm all over the place.

Every now and again I have to give myself a talking to and be aware that I can't afford to fall apart when she needs me. It is the hardest thing, as parents of AC we are at 'arm's length' when all we want to do is spend all our time looking after them.

You have to trust the medical team and be fully available whenever you are needed to provide love and support.

All the very best.

It must be so horrible I do feel for you both AndyMandy and Retread I hope you both have a really good outcome and you can live a more even life
Good luck to your precious, adult children

I could not just scroll by although fortunately I don’t have experience of chronically sick AC.
I hope you can hold it together when with themAndyMandy and Retread and let the tears flow when you go home.
Best wishes to you both and your poorly AC.

Oh Andymandy. I feel for you as my son had major surgery last October and it was hugely stressful and emotional.

He has pancreatic cancer which is the worst cancer you can get as it is usually too far gone by the time you get diagnosed. It is also one of the most difficult as the pancreas is tucked away behind other organs. His surgery was at Addenbrooke's hospital because it is too complicated for our regional hospital. It is called the Whipple procedure and it involved removing the tumour, part of the pancreas, part of the stomach, the bile duct, the gall bladder and the duodenum. In the beginning the surgeon said he might not be able to operate as the tumour was attached to a main vein. After numerous scans, xrays etc he said he felt he should do it but we had to be aware of how very dangerous it was. If he didn’t have the op he was given 6 months maximum.

The surgery took 8 hours and he was in hospital for 3 weeks. He has been having chemo since last January which is really taking its toll now.

Have you asked whether they provide accommodation at the hospital so you are on hand? I stayed over for 2 or 3 nights in a nice little room which was a godsend. If you don’t live too far away you might feel better at home though.

Try and stay positive and take some reading material and your Ipad. Some wet wipes might be useful for your son and if they say he’s ready, some nice fruit juice. a set of pyjama shorts ad T shirt might be useful. I imagine he will be in ICU for a couple of days and that was excellent as they get 1-1 nursing 24/7.

I really do hope all goes well for your son. As it’s major surgery he will be one of the first on the list so no hanging around. We had to be there for 7am and our bums hardly touched the chair when we got there!

Message me any time if you prefer. X

Best wishes to all of you with AC with health problems. Primrose I have only recently heard of the Whipple procedure but have heard it can be a real success.

Andymandy, what a worry for you. Is there a support group related to the particular problem with your AC? Speaking to others in a similar situation might be helpful.
Primrose's advice is excellent, and hers is the voice of experience.
Best wishes to you ( and to Primrose) .

Thank you all.

Primrose how difficult for your son and your family. I feel that one has to be brave. And have hope and trust and faith because what else is there. Thank you for the practical suggestions, I never thought of finding out about family accommodation.

Thank you x

Thank you Whitewavemark2
Daisy25
Retread
BlueBelle
TillyTrotter
Bukkie
Chocolatelovinggran
Retreadfor taking the time to respond. Your responses are very much appreciated. Apologies for late response but I have to psyche myself up to deal with things if you get what I mean. Thanks anyway.

Primrose53 - thank you too for taking the time especially when you have a lot going on yourself. I wish you and your son all the very best. I too live some distance away but I am staying home whilst the op is taking place (it will be a long time) and then I will travel as soon as I am able to visit and stay a few days. I just need to get through the day itself which I know will be difficult. All the very best and thanks again. Life is so hard at times.

I feel for you.

I do hope it all goes well.

BTDT, it isn’t easy, Andymandy. Sending good wishes for a successful operation.