Black Dogs 29

Wyllow3 You shouldn't have to face MrA until you feel ready. Hope you get a satisfactory solution to it all. Chocolate is always good.

PurplePixie Steam fairs are quite interesting. My dad used to like the old fairground steam organs. Are you and your husband in fairly good health? It'll be nice for you to see your son. Does he live very far from you? You obviously do a lot of knitting! And all for a good cause. I used to like the programme that Paul O'Grady did at Battersea Cats & Dogs Home. I didn't watch the one with Alison Hammond (don't like her much). Is there anything in particular making you feel fed-up? Or is it what we all feel sometimes?

Little Girl was here 9 til 5. Went to a softplay centre, which she enjoys, then home for lunch and a play with toys. Fed the ducks at the local park. Hope everyone has been ok x

Hi all
HVDY- yes my Sis and I do enjoy our chats and it’s lovely being able to see her on FT. Her leg is sore- such a pity because her hip is healing well.
What a surprise to find the clothes!! Lease don’t knock yourself- your weight loss has taken so much effort.Just enjoy your holiday- you do so much for other people it’s your time together- make the most of it.
Hope you,ve enjoyed today with LG
SweetPeaSue- it sounds like a nasty turn your DH had yesterday. Like Doodle I think you should see your GP again.
It’s so hard for you both to relax when you are never sure when the next one will come.
EllieAnne- it’s not moaning you’re just telling it like it is for you. It would be nice if you could see your DSs more and not just for the housework day. Another kind thing you do.
Wyllow - you describe my Sis perfectly- she has a very brave heart and is selfless to a fault.
Glad you have all the tele channels- something to suit whatever mood you feel in.
I,m so cross that Mr A ha# made life so stressful for you.You are worth more than that. Please try and concentrate on all that is good in your life. Well done though for making what must have been a massive effort and going to the Gym and getting a foodie treat afterwards. I so want you to be able to put this all behind you. It is nit your responsibility-the ones who are responsible need to take your position more seriously and deal with it accordingly.
Doodle- so pleased that you had a healing time at the hospice- it is a special place.
Thank you yes I,ll be glad when I get the results.
Those times when the pain of your loss hits you so hard will get more bearable it’s that at the moment it seems relentless- I feel for you very much as we all do.
Tavini444- Welcome it’s good to have you here.
PurplePixie- life together as you get older is a challenge for many.A day out can be companiable just as friends. The sarcasm must be hurtful but you seem able to nip it in the bud.
Well done for the knitting- lots of warm and cozy cats.
Glad your son will be visiting - nothing like a hug from a Son you don’t see often.
Have you tried ADs to help you cope?
Nadateturbe- thinking of you.

Love to all past and presentxxx

Well, hope you all had a good weekend. I took it on board and didn’t look at the whole thing as a bank holiday and it worked.
DH was ok but every time he decided that He was going to be sarcastic then I pulled him up about it. We had a day out on sunday to a steam fair and it was ok but I have long since lost any feeling for him. I am 74 and he is 72. He has every ache and pain under the sun and I do feel sorry for him at times but sometimes he does put it on. We both look quite young for our age.

I managed to finish a jigsaw off yesterday after trying to get my head into painting but it just wouldn’t come. I have to be in the mood to paint yet I can knit or crochet at any time. Last night I knitted part of a dog/cat blanket for Battersea. So far I have knitted over 100 blankets over the past years for them.

Decided this morning to tackle the weight thingey. I am 2st over weight and this doesnt help the mood at all.

Had a lovely chat with my youngest son last night and he is coming to stay on friday night on his way to a meeting friends on saturday morning. Short but will be sweet. Looking forward to seeing the lad.

An afternoon at the knitting group this afternoon. They are a great bunch and I am one of the youngest ones there! Fabulous small group of us.

All should be great but I just didn’t want to get out of bed this morning and it was after 8am before I got downstairs. DH had got up after 7am. I wanted to just sit and cry.

I’m FEDUP with being FEDUP.

Sorry for the long post. Take care and thank you for reading.

Hello tavini and welcome.

Oh Doodle....just keep sharing what you can xx, just to say, the hospice does seem one of the most comforting things that you can do..keep on... I have memories of you sitting that last day, like a picture xx

Sweetpeasue - I'm so sorry that DH had a very tough day and it's so dispiriting. Sigh -like going backwards for you.

I spent most of today, apart from a sleep and gentle yoga at the gym - at least I got out today - writing to the Big Cheese safeguarding wise preparing her for the Zoom. Begging her to tell me what to do. Missed nothing out, told it like it is. Said how can I talk about this to local Safeguarding when they were part of the problem.

There are some very nice national Quaker Zooms nearly every day and twice some, so it doesnt mean cutting it out of my life, but I feel very strongly I should not be forced to face my sexual assaulter until I am ready, and he is genuinely repentant. (even if it involves him being required to attend some kind of course) Let them take the onus on deciding, although its a heck of a responsibility, but not mine.

After yet another night like last night. It has isolated and exhausted me so very much when I could have been healing post the big depression, seen my family, done all that I'd planned.

So told her like it was. High risk strategy? Better than now.

But I did get out for some yoga at the gym for awhile, and it was quiet, and treated myself to chicken korma in an emergency dash to Sainsbugs. Choc was bought as well.

Wyllow3 I can wear quite a few things that didn't fit me last year. It's a difficult situation regarding Mr A. Would your Quakers group be willing/able to stop him from going to all the meetings? Keep going to Costa, the gym and the lovely parks you enjoy. Perhaps another visit to your son?

SweetpeaSue Thank you for those encouraging words. I'll get back on the diet properly after the holiday (we're going all-inclusive, so endless amounts of food and drinks ). My brother said there are only about 6 men at the shed place. I suggested he invite one of them to meet for a pint/coffee, but knowing him, he probably won't. Sorry your husband has had a bad day. It sounds as though he needs to pace himself a lot. Not easy to do.

Doodle I've helped my brother as much as I can, without actually going with him to places. Loneliness must be terrible. I'm glad you see your sons and their families, and you keep yourself busy. I imagine it takes a great deal of effort to keep going, but you do.

It's been a grey day, with a bit of rain. We'd been invited to meet Son2 and family at Lincoln, but thought better of it. Stayed in and did some chores, watched tv. Hope everyone has a restful night. LG will be here all day tomorrow x

Thank you tavini sitting in the garden sounds peaceful. Thank you for your kind thoughts.

tbh some mornings it’s a struggle just to get out of bed and face the world. idk why it hits harder some weeks than others, but you definitely aren’t alone in this. i’ve found that just sitting in the garden with a cup of tea helps clear my head a bit. sending you lots of strength, hang in there.

Ellie Anne do you think your children are aware of the problems in your relationship with their dad but don’t know what to say so keep quiet?
HVDY it is quite easy to sit and grieve and do nothing all day but dwell on thoughts. This won’t do your brother any good but I doubt you can make him more active. Loneliness is overwhelming and sometimes nothing can be done but live with it. At least he goes to men in sheds. That’s a start.
Scaredycat it must be so hard for your friends son. Such a lot to cope with. Hope you get your results soon and they are ok.
Wyllow a very difficult situation. Is there another Quaker group you could go to where Mr A doesn’t go. If you put your foot down and said you didn’t want Mr A back at all would the Quakers agree and stop him coming back or would they relent and let him back anyway. .
Sweetpeasue I do think another trip to the Gp could be the way to go and ask why Dh keeps getting the pain and so often. No wonder you’re worried. Hope you get some answers.
I’ve had a lovely afternoon at the hospice with DS2. Such a comforting place for all the family.
Missing DH so much. Many people said the second year was worse than the first and I know what they mean. Now others are saying the third year is just as bad and I can understand that too. The more time passes the worse it gets. Not quite what you’re led to believe. Sorry moaning again.

HVDY Oh youve done so well losing all that weight it doesn't matter you're not a 14- honestly ,its amazing ,youve lost so much. Its sad about your brother,hes lost 2 very close people.I really hope he makes some good friends at the men's Shed.
Wyllow I hope today has been much better for you, I really do. Its so bad that this Mr A assault has had such a wide impact and affected you in so many ways. The more you see other Quakers wanting it to blow over the more angry you will feel. The thing is Im sure they will believe you in how awful it was but unless they've had the experience themselves they can't actually know . I expect they dont know how to handle it and it seems, dont want to exclude Mr A from the meetings. When you talk to Safeguarding headquarters don't hold back and tell them how ill its making you- I really dont know shat else you can do. I just hope they will really listen.
Please dont let this undo all the efforts you have made getting well.
Keep going to your gym in the meanwhile , your walks and the Costa visits so you are taking your mind away from the problem a little .

Not been good today for DH. He had bad sharp pain through chest into back as we were going around a supermarket and had to sit down and take spray. When we got back to car he needed it again. Told me hed had it earlier when I was upstairs getting ready. Keeping close eye on him. Hes v tired. Pretty low about it all.
Hope everyone is ok. Love you all.

Your poor sis, Scaredycat. she has a brave heart, and I hope healing will come to her. Poor son - he has to get help - I accept what you say, its too complicated - we know he has to shout incredibly loudly, and blokes don't find that easy - I'm thinking local support groups and so on that have share knowledge and experience.

Crossing fingers for an OK result - these things always have to go to an MDT before giving results, its standard - but hard.

(yes, I have the works TV wise, just watched an old favourite on Prime for the nth time, "the runaway jury", where the gun lobby in the US gets a major defeat - spot on for an old politico like me. Also Montalbano. Top fave...since I dont go out except for coffees, it's my treat to me).

HVDY I can feel the holiday anticipation building up there. Well, you have lost enough weight to wear clothes you might not have done this time last year and are a whizz with Vintage. I hope the Mens Sheds work out for your brother.

It is so hard for you Ellie Anne. Sons and Daughters often don't want to deal with their mum and dad's relationship. I think stuff with Ex harmed my relationship with DiL

But as regards practical help with DH, I think it's worth trying to get some help from them but realistically so - you can only ask - a refusal would hurt, but you might be surprised. It depends on so many factors in their lives too. This is where you may have to ask for help for you from the GP if it gets beyond endurance emotionally.

Fluffball has been so lovely for you, Sweetpeasue. I know at times in my first married family life when things were difficult the fact we had two cats made a lot of difference especially to DH and DS if I was withdrawn. You are lovely for Auntie, and you are doing all you possibly can, and stepped up for DiL very naturally. You sound - I may be wrong - but a bit less isolated than of old? The involvement with Son and DiL gave you a sense of value and worth and something you could actually help with when your own situation was so intractable?

I think it's one of those home made spelling words, Doodle. The will and energy to get out there and..well, do stuff. Lacking oomph in my experience may be many things but it's often in period of great sadness or change afoot, but we cannot know always.

The gym? I was so exhausted today I as at home in my nightie all day. I went to a Quaker Zoom which was OK: but as regards matters with MrA, it snot just some sort of determination to see something through. I've had to own I really am suffering from trauma I cannot cope with. doing less and less/; sleep and waking still very troubled: I can cross check with S Assault and symptoms, which fit, and recognised by my helpers as such,

but this is the key problem:

I need not to have to face MrA. I do not want him to come to our meeting. it's not just the actual assault, as I have said, but the complex involvement of other Quakers or should I say non involvement and resulting gaslighting. I can ge ton top f it in terms of psychological understanding

but the fact remains that if I request MrA not come back to our meeting for an unspecified time, I will put the backs up of some other Quakers in my meeting big time. Who either dont get it, or have such partial information.

What to do

I literally cannot bear the idea of him coming back unless there is some sign of true repentance: but if I insist on protecting myself it will lead to some disapproval or conflict from people who are hoping it will just go away, cosily.

The option is to go into "flight" - run away, but that is also self damaging. these are what I am going to talk about with Safeguarding HQ and then local ones.

It has literally made me ill physically and mentally despite great resolve to keep up the gym and family as much as possible. sometimes ones mind reaches a limit - self understanding is to enough.

Yes, R has been very supportive and has helped me get this far really after I realised post the meeting MrA came to it triggered it all over again.

EllieAnne You are doing your best for son 1 by helping out with the washing and ironing and you have to travel there and back too which is quite a way. Your son2 is visiting approx every few weeks which is nice. Sounds like youve a good relationship with both sons but its natural when you feel lonely to want to see them more often. I expect your DD feels torn about 'taking sides" . Its not .moaning to feel so lonely, especially when you have no meaningful relationship with your DH. I wish I knew the answer.

Doodle My brother spends all day, every day, sitting alone with only his thoughts. He misses his wife (she only died less than 2 months ago) and his son.

EllieAnne You're not moaning, you're feeling lonely, which is understandable, really. Would your son and his family visit you if you invited them for dinner or anything?

I realised that when I said I'd found clothes from a holiday 8 years ago, it might have sounded as though I hadn't washed them! We went in October, so I washed and put them away for the following summer. They're all too small - size 14 - as I'd lost 4st in 4 months at that time. Still too damned fat now.

The weekend has been ok . I phoned dd today. I’d already messaged her about her dad as she complained last time I didn’t tell her till later.
I tried to explain that I’ve been feeling very isolated with no family around. She knows dh and I haven’t a close relationship but never acknowledges it, my boys are both about an hour away but the older one hasn’t ,been here since Christmas. I only see him because I go there every week to do some housework and ironing. But he works difficult hours up at 4 home late afternoon and helping to take the gds to various interests so I do understand but wish they were closer. Ds2 visits every few weeks. If it was an emergency I m sure they would help. And of course dd is her usual self.!
I’ve no siblings. Have cousins but my dad never wanted to
Mix with anyone so I don’t know them.
Again I’m sounding moany . Sorry.

HVDY not surprised your brother is sad. Being alone is hard and he doesn’t try to help himself much. It’s good he’s going to men in sheds. I hope he enjoys it.
Wyllow hope Mr R can be supportive to you. You should be proud with how you’re keeping going after all the Mr A stuff.
Purplepixie the painting is a lovely idea.
Sweetpeasue sometimes being out and walking is better than sitting and brooding. I’m finding this weekend a long one for some reason. Had a lovely lunch with son and family and dog but just not myself at the moment. I seem to have lost all my oompf (not sure how you spell it)
Scaredycat your poor sister. Those leg wounds can take ages to heal and can be so sore.. Good she’s got you to talk to though. That was a marathon session. 😊

Scaredycat Your poor sister- that wound must be quite painful. Hope it will heal up quickly- it seems a strange thing for them to do. I am sorry for your friend's son, he must feel quite alone with it all - Alzheimers is such a cruel thing. Yes, the rain will do our gardens good, we shouldn't complain and are lucky in this country that we get enough.
HVDY We will miss Fluffball but we know we can have her again. She was certainly over the moon to see her again and gives my son and equally lucky welcome when he gets back from work on Tuesday. How funny you found those clothes after all this time- theyre probably all too big now.

8ScaredyCat* You chatted with your sister for a long time . The blister must be very sore for her. Poor lady.

Awake since 5.30 (got up at 6.30 as I couldn't get back to sleep). DH got the cases down from the loft and found them full of clothes from our last trip abroad (8 years ago). I've already got lots of clothes, so I've put some on Vinted and will take the rest to charity shops. Love to all x

PurplePixie That sounds nice. Are you still in touch with your old teacher? Perhaps you're younger than the rest of us on here? (I'm 67 and imagine my teachers would have died years ago).

Wyllow3 Did you do a Quakers Zoom call? How was the gym?

SweetpeaSue I bet Fluffball enjoyed her time at yours but was probably pleased to see her mum, too. It's been cool and overcast here all day.

Hi All
It’s been another nice day here with the odd cloudy interval. First Sunday in the month we have a Farmers Market on our Green. It was really busy today - a continual stream of families all eager to buy stuff that’s twice as much as anywhere else!!
But it makes them all feel countrified so everyone is happy.
Had a 2 hour Face Time with my Sister which was lovely. She has a problem with her leg from the hip Op . They put something between her lower legs to stop her crossing them and it made a big blister and a wound that is taking ages to heal. Her hip is doing well! You couldn’t make it up.
Doodle- hope you,ve had a good day and were able to meet up with friends at church. It was a good thing to have that long walk it must have helped clear your head a bit. Then your day was busy afterwards. Ploughing through that Tea Cake -I,d rather have it well done though.
PurplePixie- that’s a difficult subject but will be such an appreciated gift eventually. Another artist in our midst.
HVDY- that was a good shopping session. Your GD must have had a great time. My DD and GD1 and GGD have gone on. Spree today. They can shop for England.
Your brother has had great loss - it must have affected him greatly. Perhaps he’s afraid of getting too close . Brilliant that he’s gone to the Men in Sheds thing- you have helped him a great deal.
Wyllow- yes my friends son is absolutely worn out and I ,m afraid he,ll have a breakdown if he’s not careful. He told me they have the same conversations over and over again. He has no partner at the moment so no one to share things with. Her family are awful and no help at all. It’s a very complicated situation.
I should get results next week hopefully but I,m not holding my breath!
It’s worth paying for your TV series if it brings you pleasure- do you have Netflix or Prime? Wondered if it was on one of those- I know they are pay channels too though.
SweetPeaSue- I,m glad your Aunt knows who you are - my other lovely friend doesn’t really know us any more but we somehow chat a bit anyway.
You must miss Fluffball when she goes but it gives your DiL the chance to do something for herself which is lovely. Fancy meeting an old friend - she must have been pleased to meet up unexpectedly.
Rain and fog - no wonder Fluffball didn’t fancy going out. Our gardens could do with some rain - had a little last night .
Yes I,ll be glad when I get the results - thank you.
EllieAnne- another weekend nearly over - hope it’s not been too bad.
Love to all and wishing all a relaxing evening x

HVDY Dont know Rushcliffe Park- you have so many great ones around you. What a hugely busy day yesterday, you manage to fit so much in. Id never heard the term crepuscula - now I know why we saw the deers when we did,at twilight. Hmm ,I think GPs are paid to promote certain types of drugs,def cheapest. Yes, my DGD is like yours with the hoodie and leggings though shes just started to wear some smart stuff too.
EllieAnne Id never thought about having to do the 'personal' hygiene stuff for DH if its ever needed. I think it must be difficult enough when you care for someone ( Im sure Id be ok with DH) but can totally understand it when theres no closeness between you. Hope youve had a better day today and church was helpful ,seeing friends.
Purplepixie I wish I knew how to grow carrots properly. Ive never had any luck- planted them in deep containers as well as more shallow ones, they always end up so 'stunted'. What a nice idea to do the painting of the church in the village you grew up in and give it to your teacher.
Wyllow You did make me laugh. Of course I could manage those dance movements! But thing is I dont have a leather jacket. Im afraid Id def get thrown out the store.
Glad you have a friend that has your back ,like Mr R in Quakers. Its all such a worry for you but Im sure knowing you can now take part in the Zoom meetings again will help. Not the same as actually being there though.
Scardycat My aunt is like your other friend with Dementia- knows who I am but doesnt really remember recent things though she remembers things from yrs ago. Oh Im totally with you about spiders ,they scare me to death.
Yes, I do feel on edge when DH has the chest tightness . It just makes me feel frustrated that Drs dont seem to be believing us. I do hope you can get some peace of mind yourself from the ech scan. You deserve a break .
Doodle Did you go to church today and see friends afterwards? Im sorry you needed that long walk alone but sometimes being alone is the best choice we can make when we know others cant help. Oh dear- that teacake- do hope the butter wasnt hard too. Thats one of our biggest bugbears! How do you spread the stuff without making a hole in it?

DIL just picked up Fluffball. She had a really helpful time at the retreat and was unexpectedly reunited with a friend there.
Just rain all day here and fog. Hate these dark days. Even Fluffball didnt want to go out this morning for a wee and just stood and looked out looking as if we were mad!
Hope everyone has had a reasonable day and hugs for those who are low or fed up.xx

That was a full and nice day yesterday, HVDY. I love those huge sandpits and so so the children, lots playing in them. Yummy food, there, too. It’s a good job you explained “crepuscular” ☺️ It was a lovely day today shopping with GD1, too. I’d love that with DGD when she is a bit older.

I can understand you feeling really low, EllieAnne. No wonder - you can’t bear to touch him or be touched. I’m not feeling like condemning at all: you will need to buy in caring should it come to that. Or face down SSD and say he has been co-ercive, which I think, frankly, he has.
I hope you get a quick cancellation. I understand perfectly - sometimes enough is just - enough.

You seem good at making plans to find things to cope with, Purplepixie, but as you say, the feelings have died. What do you think of just ringing a solicitor when you are home alone just to see what splitting might mean? I await your story with curiosity. Go for it, that painting, would love to know how you got on.

I’ll be honest, I’ve never had to encounter someone with dementia for more than a brief time, Scaredycat. I didn’t have many older relatives: my Dad was semi estranged for some reason - the ones I did, died without that happening. (Tho 1 very sad ways, that you are familiar with), but a very, very, very long time ago, and it was hidden from us) It must be exhausting and so difficult for her son.
Do let us know when you get any hospital results, no one likes waiting…

Sometimes Doodle being alone but not just sitting is the best option x. Yes, when we were talking abut it upthread I knew how it would have been for you and DH. You would have not wanted anyone else in unless it was physically impossible for you. X

Yes, MrA is a piece of work. I am better placed to feel firm in my mind: but it will cause ructions from some if I say no to him coming back, but we’ll see what wise interventions might bring.
I was so tried yesterday, it all takes it out of me, but did go to the gym and Costa, and watched old fave Montalbano on TV, feeling cross I have to pay for it but its exactly right atm - a good man that puts things right, but the humour , the friendships, and coping with sorrow in Montalbano is so spot on.

Quakers, gym, probably. but its so late now to get dressed and too tired to rush, I might do a Quaker Zoom.
I just had to come in here first, I'd missed all.

I’m going to have a go at painting a landscape with a church in it. The church in a village where I grew up. I want to give it to my old teacher as a present.

EllieAnne It's understandable, albeit sad, given your relationship with your husband, that you wouldn't help each other with personal care. Hope you get a cancellation quite soon.

PurplePixie It's just a normal Saturday. Bank Holiday is only on Monday. What are you going to paint?

ScaredyCat You've been busy, too. It was gorgeous weather yesterday. My brother said he felt very sad - his wife died, his son died 2 years ago (it would have been the son's birthday next Monday), and he's very alone. He has been to a Men in Sheds place, though, and is going again next Tuesday and Wednesday.

Doodle I'm glad you have the comforting place of the hospice to go to. Did you buy yourself any treats from Waitrose?

Had a nice time with GD1 - went to Nottingham city centre (not been for years). She chose 6 dresses and 5 tops. She didn't want to get underwear, sandals, skirts or trousers (like many teenagers, she wears leggings and hoodies). Had a pub lunch then a cocktail (she had a non-alcoholic one, of course). 4 hours was quite enough. Hope everyone else has been ok x

Evening all. Went for long walk this morning, was very sad and upset so I took myself off for a walk. Went to the hospice with my friend and had a very well done toasted tea cake (not their usual style at all) so gave my jaw a good workout too.
Then to Waitrose for our shop and home again for coffee and chat.
Ellie Anne and Purplepixie I think to do personal care of someone requires a great deal of love and if that isn’t there then it’s a chore some manage somehow but others cannot. (I ma not in any way saying you should I couldn’t do it for anyone other than Dh)
Professional carers, nurses etc have a way of coping. Many people have to bring in someone to do this and many couples don’t want to do personal care. No one can criticise you in anyway. Everyone feels differently.

I did do personal care for DH and he would have for me because when you love someone that much you can. It’s a completely different thing. I would have done anything for DH.

Hope all are having a restful weekend. Take care xx

Hi all
I had a busy day yesterday and late afternoon we met my other friend who has dementia and Her son for a drink outside the pup on the Green as it was so lovely. She knows who we are but has no memory whatsoever so every thing you say she answers I,m sorry I can’t remember- Her DS looks after her but his is not an easy life. So after 2 hours we were done in and after tea I was all done.
HVDY- I would have enjoyed your Day centre on Thursday. I love handling most critters except spiders .
Your Friday was busy too . Doesn’t the lovely weather make it so much easier and the little ones can enjoy being outside. A lovely time for LG.
Your brother seems to be more up for visiting you now- maybe hes realised what a good sister he has.
Hope today’s shopp8ng spree goes well,with LG- our DGDS loved doing that.
Doodle- I,m sorry sorry you are struggling right now. Pleased don’t worry about posting - your mind is elsewhere. We are just pleased to see you whenever you are able to pop in.
Your nostalgic meeting was bound to resurrect all sorts of feelings and memories. But it must have been good to be able to see each other too.
Sending a hugx
SweetPeaSue- hope the new statin is more agreeable for DH . Ditto the new heart meds. You must be on pins every time DH has his chest pain but like all health problems you might get more confident in time when it happens.
You have Fluffball at the moment- the best Medicine for you both. I can picture you together on the beach- dogs can’t help but cheer you up.
Wyllow- what a lovely mental picture of you and the musical session in the park- a magic moment. I bet you finished on a real high after the crocodile hug.
Yes we all need time to stand and stare- take in the beauty of nature and humankind too.
Being able to have a relaxed chat with R must have helped a lot. He seems to have Mr A,s number and you were able to fill in some gaps for him too. It seems MrA has pulled the wool over the eyes of many people. He should be ashamed of himself- he’s a piece of work.
Hope you’re having a good day.
EllieAnne- it’s been a bit of a tough time for your DH. But you have done your best to,help him as much as you can and must be glad it didn’t involve anything too personal.
You could do,with a hygienist appt before Sept. I have implants too and you have to be scrupulous with cleaning etc don’t you. PurplePixie- there seems something salvageable about your marriage - even if it could just be a good friendship.
Do you do stuff together - even if it’s just a walk or watching a film together.
I,m sad for you but I guess you feel its a bit too late.
Nadateturbe- hope you are managing some good days. Thinking of you.

Love to all. Would love to hear from some BDs - we miss you

I know what you mean EllieAnne. I couldn’t have DH do personal stuff for me and the same me for him.

Another bank holiday and I am trying to keep busy this morning. I have some plans for getting the watercolour paints out this afternoon. The plants have been watered and I am chuffed to see the beetroot and carrots are through.

DH said he would do the tea tonight and he is actually being ok but I really don’t feel the same way about him. A lot has died.

I’ll tell you the story of our meet up back in 2019 with a couple of friends of mine at a later date. I’ll never be friends with them two again!

Have a good weekend and catch up later. I HATE BANK HOLIDAYS!!!