Black Dogs 28

Wyllow Sorry for your bad night.Fwiw I think youll feel better after youve made peace with D - as you say she was thoughtless rather than manipulative, and you so need your Quaker meetings back to what they were. They mean so much to you and are important for your MH too. So glad your cleaner friend had the idea of the little art meetings. Im sure you will enjoy those and sounds like they wont be too much of a pressure on you.
Thankyou for understanding and thankyou all for listening.
HVDY My DH is talking about painting the fences. Have a lovely family day on Sunday. LG's sister seems very talented and you all must be so proud when you watch her perform in things.
Thankyou for reassurance about aunt's probable care home future. You will totally understand how Alzheimers takes hold and the stages being so involved with caring profession. Aunt has been ringing this afternoon Ive had to text her DD

Sorry if some of my words aren't coherent - Im struggling to think straight.

Had a nice walk in sunshine by the sea but DH def was struggling after 15mins. Needed spray and looked so tired. Just after returning home DS called to see if I could pick up DGS from school. We were playing this rung- toss thing in garden when son DIL and her little girl arrived so all played together with my sweet step DGD. She lives with her other parent so I only see her when shes with her mum and my son. My DGS and the little girl get on so well. I asked her for a hug as they left. She looked a little lost. She's been really upset about losing her nana , Im playing very carefully.

DH not good after days events and hes taking it easy but he shouldn't be like this.

Take care everyone. Sorry if my post seems garbled. So tired.x

Ellie Anne your poor DGD. Lonely and vulnerable youngsters can get drawn into things beyond their control. I hope she’s ok. A real shock for you too. All we want for them is that they’re happy. Then your Dh having a fall. You must have been concerned when he lost consciousness. Must have given himself a bit of a bump, hope he’s ok now. What will they do with his hand?
Wyllow good you’ve booked the hotel. Should be more relaxing for you. Glad you got to see the CPN. Hope that proved helpful. You’re very good to contact D and give her a chance to make amends. The little art meetings sound good.
Sweetpeasue how kind you are to make your step DGD feel welcome. Sounds like you all had fun in the garden.
Did you ever phone the cardiac nurse about your DH’s pain and breathlessness? Hope he’s feeling better now.
Scaredycat 18 months is a long period of treatment. I don’t know much about immunotherapy but I do know it seems to be the latest thing. Hope your friend copes with it well.
Art we could choose ourselves this week so I’m painting a woman with an umbrella.
HVDY sounds like you’ve got a busy weekend with the play and having people round on Sunday for tea. What are you having? I remember going and having tea with an elderly aunt years ago. Finger sandwiches, scones and jam, Sherry trifle and cake. Always very full after.

Doodle I really like your chosen art project- woman with umbrella. Hope it goes well.
An elderly aunt I had when I was a child always had baking items for tea though I wasnt keen on the tinned prunes with carnation milk.
The garden game was a bit of distraction though son and DIL couldn't stay long.
The Cardiac nurse was just a rehabilitation nurse ( if DH had taken up the physio) so she advised another cardiac number which when called had ask DH to seek advice from GP. GP has risen dosage of angina tablet until DH has cardiac follow up in middle April, which is by phone.

Doodle they won’t do anything about his hand . If there is a broken bone it will heal itself. Just told to take painkillers.
It’s youngest gd dance show tomorrow but he doesn’t think he will go.

I hope you will go, Ellie Anne. You couldn't make the last ice skating, it was so far away, so the dance show will be nice.

I think with DH Sweetpeasue it must be hard for him just to do little bits when he wants to do much more as it triggers needing a spray and more discouraging and scary feelings. but I` hope he does get to paint the fence, but by bit.

a lovely family moment for you there - handled very well and sensitively by you too. Well done at a tough time x

I'd love to see the woman with the umbrella, Doodle - if you are comfy with it. I never ever have had a "high tea" but I recall at "do's" the most awful pretend cream on trifle.

But carnation milk was a treat at home, for some reason it didnt appear often, tho not expensive. Certainly not with prunes tho.

I didnt get to speak to the CPN until 3.40pm on the phone, by which time I was crawling up the wall as I'd rung at 9am. she was very nice and gave me the time to hear me out and is fast forwarding the psychiatrist if possible.

I did spend part of the time usefully however, to pass the time, (at 9am I thought it would be soon, nothing happened, a repeat at 1pm...

including chasing up the specialist eye appointment - which is sourced out - and the place I was referred to wasn't doing it anymore - but they told me who was, and patience, politeness and persistence paid off - the secretary took all the triage details and I am to see them tomorrow afternoon. its with what is basically an enhanced optician who has medical knowledge as well, to cover all aspects. Its my blurry vision and constant infection and red eyes and so on.

I felt well enough after the telephone call to get out for a short walk in the park (40 mins) and then Costa.

D has agreed to meet and so thats good.
But I came home to find our quaker clerk person was about to send out the announcement of the sexual assault occurring after our meeting, and it sounded as if someone had or could have come into the building after the meeting.

I insisted back it has to be clear that the "offender" was a long term Quaker.

It is a change from what I tentatively agreed to 3 months ago, but I feel somewhat more hardline about matters, ad have backed down on it being read out in meeting to it being an email.

. whats the point in saying we place great value in truth and the moral values of consent and responsibility between men and women and skirting over the fact it was a long term respected Quaker but saying how important it was for us as an organisation to have adequate safeguarding.

I'll probably pay for it and regret it but..I've kept the mans name out of it with every single person I have spoken to except those small number in the know; I think that has taken considerable discipline.

If I've come this far....

I'll be in later to catch anyone in "on the night shift'

The person drafting the statement has accepted changes after all: yes it did keep me awake in the. night, but then that happens anyway.

About nights: Handel wrote a song putting Miltons poem to music, the style of music isn't for all, but the words are so good about night thoughts and the dawn:

"As steals the morn upon the night
And melts the shades away:
So Truth does Fancy's charm dissolve
And rising Reason puts to flight
The fumes that did the mind involve
Restoring intellectual day"

www.youtube.com/watch?v=PVCtCxnJyKY&list=RDPVCtCxnJyKY&start_radio=1

SweetpeaSue Yes, we're proud of DIL's daughter. She's a lovely, bright, sociable and clever girl. Like my DH and I with her, you've made your step GD welcome and part of the family. You had your GS at short notice (like us with LG). It's good to be able to do that. I hope the increase in your husband's meds will help him, but they probably take a while to have an effect. Don't let him do too much in one go. I really do hope your aunt goes into a home. Staff-to-resident ratio is an important thing for her daughters to ask about, as well as any activities they offer to residents. Obviously, a home shouldn't smell of wee (some do).

Doodle "Tea" is a Northern term for anything at 5-6pm-ish, usually a cooked meal. In this case, it'll be a buffet - 12 of us - so sausage rolls, quiche, pork pie, crisps, rolls (we call them cobs here), small cakes, gateau. Your chosen art subject sounds interesting. Be nice to see it when it's finished.

EllieAnne What type of dancing does your GD do? Hope you'll go even if your husband doesn't feel up to it.

Wyllow3 Glad you got to speak with the CPN, eventually. It's important to get your eyes treated and better, so I'm glad you've got that sorted out. Hope it goes well. Going to the park and Costa was nice. You have always enjoyed spending a bit of time at both.

It's a cold morning here. Food shopping to do, and then going on the bus to the city centre to watch the play later. Hope everyone has a decent day x

Wyllow Do hope you have some idea of how to treat your eyes after this afternoon with 'enhanced' optician. You do well to chase up these things.
Glad the changes to the statement were accepted.
Will listen to the song on your link later.
HVDY Hope you enjoyed the play this afternoon. Been warm here in the sun but still cold out of it.
I, too hope my aunt will take in the home suggestion. Her DD sees social services next week. Took my aunt some daffodils this afternoon and she seemed fine( sort of normal) , then a couple of hrs later she rang me in tears asking if I knew 'anyone' who would stop with her for the night as she didnt want to be alone. I talked to her for a little while and she calmed down. ( told her DD by text ). She's having carers 4 times daily.

Planted some Dahlia tubers. Saw aunt and made a trifle for my son and family and took that down. They were out so left trifle in fridge for them. Son texted later to say they enjoyed it.
Hope everyone is ok. Love to all and wishing all a peaceful night.x

Oh Sweetpeasue tinned prunes and carnation milk. What a ghastly prospect. Oh dear that’s not great. Obviously not the sort of cardiac nurses we came in contact with which were trained and specialists in their fields. You could try phoning the consultants secretary and asking if it would be possible to have a face to face instead of phone appointment, How has DH been today? Keep note of what’s happening so he can tell the consultant
Ellie Anne yes that’s true I suppose. Same with broken bones in feet. They just leave them to mend. Hope he’s not still in pain. Hope your DGD does well in her dance show. I remember going to see ours when they were younger.
Wyllow you’re still having to do battle to be heard properly. When will they ever get it right. I hope your meeting with D goes ok and you are happy with the outcome. Glad you got out on a walk. It’s been a lovely day here.
HVDY it’s funny how in different parts of the country we have different words for things and mealtimes. I always have dinner about 6.30 and 7. Very rarely have tea unless it’s a special thing like an afternoon tea out with finger sandwiches, scones, jam and cream and little cakes. Lunch between 12 and 1 usually just a snack. Hope you have a lovely time. I like the sound of your tea. Love sausage rolls.
Scaredycat been a lovely day here. Went to the hospice with friends to hear a choir. Very good. Have you been out today?

Hvdy she does a bit of everything.
The older dancers were good but the wee ones were cute but hopeless. I went on my own and it was somewhere I d never been before and the parking was awful. Car park full so had to look for a side street with no restrictions.
Dh s hand is improving.
I’m going to stay with gd1 tomorrow night because the rest of the family are going to a competition in England.
So dh will have to see to himself .

SweetpeaSue The play was really good - 3 hours with a 20 minute interval. "The Resistible Rise of Arturo Ui", a satirical play about a Chicago gangster. The story has an allegory for the rise of Adolf Hitler and the Nazis. SGD played a significant role and performed very well. It was lovely of you to make a trifle (the best dessert ever) for your son and his family. I hope something suitable is found for your aunt. She needs it. The CQC website is a good place to start looking for a home.

Doodle In the North (I'm more Northern, being in the East Midlands), it's breakfast, dinner and tea. DH and I were on our way to do the shopping for tomorrow when DIL said she and Son2 have both got stomach upsets (LG had D&V on Tues), so we're waiting to see how they are tomorrow before buying any food. What did the choir sing at the hospice? I bet that was nice to listen to.

EllieAnne Glad you went and watched your GD. I'm sure your husband will cope alone for a while. Can he cook?

Hope everyone has a restful night x

Doodle We have dinner at about 5-30 to 6-00pm. Lunch is very light, and we are definitely northerners being 60 mls north of Newcastle.
Yes , DH has had a angina episode today. Thankyou for your siggest.
HVDY Thankyou for the info guide about the CQC. Its my aunt's own DDs that have the say in her care. She has a DD in Yorkshire moors (half hr drive away) and her other DD in Scotland.
EllieAnne Like HVDY Im think your DH will be OK while you stay with DGD 1. Xx

It sounded an excellent play HVDY. - one I would enjoy. SDG clearly is talented.
It’s been but sunny here and warmed up for the afternoon, did it for you?.

The enhanced optician was superb I recommend a PEAR referral by GP if you have problems - I got 40 minutes+, everything was tested - my blurred vision was not significant enough to prevent driving by a long way, and is the meds not cataracts or anything. The constant itching and soreness of months was Blepharitis, which I haven’t had before, but got the necessary advice how to control.

The only concerning thing was a patch of brown, which I am being referred to an ophthalmologist for: my DocSis looked it up and said the chances of a melanoma are rare.
I wanted her to filter it and not google myself. I got scared: what it did to, was remind me to live for the day. I’m upset by hair loss tho: thyroid test Monday.

I also had a good session at the gym and a nap and later did a cycle on my kitchen bike.

Sweetpeasue it is beginning to sound that if aunt can't adapt to being alone, the option of being with others might help.

It depends how much she can do, it could be a supported living in a block of flats, not a residential home, with others around and a nice convenient proper bathroom etc. I’m so glad you were able to help her by talking to her. Just reminding her she wasn’t alone in other ways, people love her.

(It does remind me to plan ahead and move in time tho, but then, I’ve never been in one house long or lifelong to form that level of attachment.)

Good gardening there. My sis used to do Dalias big time, I never managed it. I bet they loved that trifle, what a lovely surprise in their fridge.

Doodle `I have a Zoom with the Safeguarding lady on Tuesday. That is the closure one. I’m going to bring my vulnerable not angry self. “How could it happen” when it was such a safe space? “Why didn’t people believe me”. Etc.
There is a confusion here about who says “dinner” and who says “lunch” for midday meal, I was also brought up with breakfast, dinner, tea, and supper which was a nibble before bed.

I have a snack 12 till 2, and a bigger meal at about 7.30 or even a bit later.

How lovely to have a choir at the hospice - what sort of music did they sing? I’m genuinely curious.

Well done for the Strange Place EllieAnne. It’s something I understand is really difficult. I’ve had difficulties for years, I’m afraid when I was with Ex I let him drive mostly. I’m a confident driver, are you, is it just strange places?

It sounded like and enjoyable show and I hope you like your stay with GD1. Well, DH can sort himself out, there is always ready meals, it will do you both good I think.

SweetpeaSue You must be posh Northerners. I say lunch then dinner or dinner and tea, according to who I'm talking to. I realise your aunt's care is being dealt with by her daughters, but wondered if they knew about CQC (They probably do).

Wyllow3 The play was great - the cast were all teenagers, and they all had to put on an American accent (meant to be Chicago but was a bit varied ). I've had Blepharitis. Quite uncomfortable. I was advised to bathe my eyelids with a very diluted baby shampoo. I hope it clears up soon.

Up at 6.30 - not yet sure if Son2 and his family are coming today. Brother is going to see his son and family in Norwich, for a few days - he needs the company. Hope everyone manages to have a decent day x

We always had dinner tea and snack supper but now I vary it depending on who I am with. Dd always says dinner in the evening.
Church this morning and gd1 overnight.we will go to Tesco and she can choose something for dinner.
With all that had been going on lately I m very stressed and feeling a bit sick. But I expect I will cope.
Hvdy hope your day works out well.

Hi all
SweetPeaSue- so nice to have your GC together. SC and SGC are lovely bonuses - you are always so kind and loving to everyone.
Alzheimer’s is a horrible thief- it takes away memories, changes temperaments and personalities and robs people of the essence of themselves. I do hope your Aunts DDs find a caring sanctuary for her.
I think the fact that your DH wants to do stuff and get out and about is a good thing but as HVDY said he mustn’t overdo things . Yes it would be so much better if he could have a face to face as Doodle suggested.
HVDY- you too have SGC who you love. What a talented young lady she is who can play many different roles. It’s great when you are able to help out as you do when there is a problem.
Your buffet sounds just right with lots of different goodies- something for everyone. Do hope they are well enough to come.
We have lunch and then tea/ dinner. DH is a Northener and I am a soft Southerner😀
EllieAnne- hope DH hand heals quickly. He could have a ready meal for the micro wave- I,m sure he could manage that. You go and enjoy the evening with your GD1- it,ll be fun.
Oh parking somewhere strange is so stressful- worse than the drive there. Once again you prove how brave you really are.
Your GD is another very talented young lady.
Doodle- yes it was a lovely day yesterday. So glad you were able to attend the choir at the Hospice. Today is nice too although it started off foggy.
Yesterday we went to “our” Castle again. It’s only 5 minutes away and has such beautiful grounds for walking. Lots of families and children enjoying the many different water birds and the thousands of dafffodils. You can go into the castle too so it appeals to all ages.
Today it was a chat with my sister and a walk and coffee with DD. While the men play Golf.
Next Sunday I expect your Church will be full of light and flowers. Hope you enjoyed today’s service.
Wyllow- The enhanced Opticians visit was successful- no stone unturned. Glad you had your Sis to allay your fears.
I have decided that live for the day is the best way we can go.After all yesterday is gone and tomorrow is not guaranteed so make the most of what today has to offer.
We watched the film”I Swear” last evening. It was really interesting and sad and funny as so many real life stories are.
I hope those Sunday has been a gentle one for you.
Nadateturbe- thinking of you and hope you have this lovely sunshine too.

Love to all - mentioned and remembered

Ellie Anne be nice for you to spend some time with your DGD1. I’m sure you DH will manage. I too hate going places I don’t know and am hopeless at parking.
Scaredycat your castle sounds a lovely place to visit with lots of things to see. Nice to spend time with your sister and Dd.
HVdY that blepharitis (however you spell it) is most unpleasant as is anything to do with the eyes. Hope it clears up soon. Pleased your brother is going to visit his son. Hope it helps them both. Glad you enjoyed the play. Your SGD is talented. How lovely you support her.
The choir were good they sang a variety of popular songs. No particular theme.
Sweetpeasue hope you’ve both had a good day today. Misty here this morning but sunny came out later. Church was nice and we had lent lunch and a nice chat after.

Wyllow sorry it’s you with the eye problem not HvDY I mis read, hope it clears up soon. Pleased you got to the gym again I’m sure it does you good.
To be honest I’m not sure I could remember many if anything the choir sang although they were good. My memory is so bad now that replying to posts here is difficult. By the time I’ve read something and scrolled down to the text box, I’ve forgotten what it was I was going to say .

EllieAnne Dont blame you for finding the car parking in a new place a hassle- Id be really stressed not knowing the area. Hope you're having a nice time with your DGD . Hope you feel calmer by now. You do so well driving new places.
Doodle Glad its not just me about forgetting details of previous posts. I have foggy brain problems. Glad you enjoyed church and its so good to hear a choir. Yrs, we've had a better day today thankyou. Been to garden centr for spare batteries for one of their solar light things and picked up some potato chits to plant. Not doing as .uch as last year though. Must keep gardening down to minimal work.
Scaredycat 'robs people of the essence of themselves ' thats so true of Alzheimers, at least it is with my aunt. You know yourself having your friend as an example and its such a cruel disease isnt it. You do write such lovely words to us all.
HVDY We're really not posh northerners in the least, haha. I often ask DH what hed like for tea , when I mean dinner. I see a dinner as a hot meal ,yet still call it tea. We never have hot meals at dinner/lunch time ,just something light. I made a mistake saying we were 60 mls north of Newcastle when were actually south of Newcastle. I get confused when Im tired.
Thanks for the CQC tip. Its looking like aunt may get a place in the care home in our village. ( the one DILs mum was in).
Though aunt keeps changing her mind then forgetting what she's said.
Wyllow The blepharitis must be so uncomfortable to say the least. Hope the safeguarding Zoom meeting goes well for you on Tuesday.
The Dahlia tubers weren't the ones with the large chunky blooms but I chose the smaller delicate 'wild' ones.
Hope youve been OK today.

Love to all and wave to Nadateturbe
Wishing all a peaceful night.x

EllieAnne Enjoy your time with your granddaughter. What did she choose from Tesco? I used to be a very confident (and fast) driver, used to go miles every day with work, often 50 miles a day. Now, I let DH do the driving. I stay locally. Try to relax and do as little as possible whilst you're away from home.

ScaredyCay What a lovely weekend you've had. The castle sounds like a good place to go, especially with all the water birds. It's nice that you're near your daughter and can meet up for coffee. How's your sister getting on? My husband used to play golf - do the men in your family have the gear like clubs, umbrella, shoes, etc?

Doodle It was rather cold here this morning, then brightened up later. Choir singing can be so moving, depending on what is sung. I had Blepharitis last year, and it's not nice, so I can empathise with Wyllow.

The whole family came, plus Son2's friend (he comes to all family gatherings). Eleven of us. I did too much food - 3 different fillings in cobs (rolls), quiche, sausage rolls, pork pie, samosas, pizzas, chicken, crisps (3 types), carrot and cucumber sticks, then Victoria sponge cake, chocolate brownies, muffins, 2 types of melon, and strawberries. There was quite a lot left, so Foxy can have it with his eggs. Hope everyone has a peaceful night x

Hvdy she chose a chicken and bacon pasta bake , garlic flatbread and chocolate eclairs.
I got a row from dd for not telling her about Dh s fall at the time. I thought I was doing the right thing but it seems not. Obviously if we were texting or phoning more regularly I would have told her.
Oh I’m so tired of being got at.

I really hope that your brother benefits from his visit to Norwich, HVDY, that it helps draw him out a bit. I’m not surprised, but glad, all your family came to yours including friend. What a feast, and so sociable, and Foxy gains, too.

Was church OK today, Ellie Anne? I hope it was. Wondering what GD1 chose for dinner, and that you had a beneficial family time and the sickness recedes a bit.

It’s clearly “yours”, Scardeycat. I hope the servants are aware of this ☺️. A nice day out there, with family and the daffs. I like to see children enjoy themselves and the sun brings out the best. And today Sis and coffee. A well deserved pleasant weekend.

Of course, Lent is still on Doodle. How has yours gone? Talking of forgetting, I recall you had an aim…but not what it was. Not one now till Easter Sunday.
Btw, don’t worry for one moment about forgetting “who” - we are all struggling in one way or another here, I only “Recall” as I’m working from the posts directly in “notes” and then copy/paste.

I’m hoping that Aunt does get a place and takes to it, Sweetpeasue. I recall my neighbour in the flat next to me, in a past place, who unwillingly went, but once there, liked it and her son said she was happy and feeling a lot better with the company. She had a lovely family like you and DD.

I prefer the little Dalias to the “showy” ones. I prefer a sort of general cottage wild garden look (which is just as well).

Well, I thought my sis had put my mind at rest last night re the possible cancerous bit in eye. Well I wasn’t. Of course, by 2pm last night crawling up the wall I knew it hadn’t. Why my eye? Why not a bit of arm or leg? Or another bit of face (I’ve had cells removed from there already). It seems just as I was getting over MrA..blah blah. So I took more meds and got to sleep.
Quakers was actually rather nice and gentle and nice talks after. I had a panic when I was sure I saw MrS on the way there, but it wasnt. I apologised to the greeting person Later and she was OK about it as I explain why I was over reacting.

There are are some lovely people there - a young couple, open and warm and vulnerable, and an older lady who is good to chat to as she has had to live with severe MH in family but is a survivor but cant walk much anymore, and more -obvs we discussed current political matters and peace as well as personal stuff.

Then I did a strong gym and had some good chats today. Working off the anxiety as best as. I know the only way I can deal with it is by getting more information -

I dont know whether the optician is referring directly or via the GP, to whom she is referring, the time scale of triaging, and so on. I cope better with full info.

Wondering of course as well if I can find the money to go private for the gathering information and finding out what it is bit - so tomorrow is information gathering.

Had a sleep and then was so fed up by the state of my house especially the kitchen, got on with it.

As ever, you are all part of my life - the last few years I can't imagine otherwise: living alone online becomes more important - and wonder about things in between posting - stay as well as you can.

Sorry for spelling you wrong, Scaredycat...its where to put the "e"..

True to form, I’ve already phoned the optometrist and found a nice receptionist who said oh I understand of course send your questions in. The chief one being of course, if a biopsy/test is needed how do you get one from an eye… but I want all the details of who the referral is made to. I slept better than I thought as I had my ‘plan’. Currently at the GP for a jab. And thyroid test.

And it turns out the full range of tests, except I waited on the wrong floor for half an hour for the second lot ...worth it tho if it I'd's the hair loss and so on....a morning spent chasing up this and that and missing the gym, (not the exercise, the social bit)