Feeling hopeless

I have just re read your post OP. The childcare does sound too much. Does it take a lot of your time which now you are retired should be for you to enjoy with new things. With or without your part time partner.

Maybe after a GP visit a talk to your DD about childcare should be the next step.

Completely go along with the others have an appointment with your GP you do sound a bit depressed We all get in a bit of a rut especially at this time of year when it’s all dull and dreary.
Spring is round the corner with the Lighter nights and a much better feeling of positivity. I think we all tend to get a bit down in the winter months. I know I do.

Good advice Dorrain. I now know that a med DH has been on for many years has probably caused his long term depression. There is a now a warning printout in the box.

Too late for him.

Do check in with your GP about medications and generally about your low mood.

Springtime soon as well which may cheer you up. I think a lot of GNS feel very much the same.

Honey* I agree with others - there is much in your post that is positive.

I know childcare is expensive, but do you have to be the one that does most of it for your daughter and partner? Perhaps your health issues and your child care commitments are on a collision course, could you explore with your daughter whether you could do less child care?

I really feel for grandparents, especially grandmothers, who it seems are often almost expected to do a second round of child rearing with their grandchildren. No wonder it becomes too much, and there should be some understanding of that and adjustments made. Especially when you’re not well.

Honey1958 have you considered seeing the doctor about your medications?

Some heart related meds can exacerbate underlying depression and anxiety so it may be worth a visit in case he/she can help.

Statins and beta blockers can cause depression, and as Chestnut said you do have positives in your life.

Definitely worth a try?

The first thing that jumps out of your post is that there are so many positive things there, lovely granddaughters, supportive partner, brilliant with them, helps with childcare. It could be so much worse, so just maybe try to 'count your blessings' instead of focusing on the bad things. We all have that choice and I know it can be hard, but switching to a more positive outlook will change your life.

The same applies to your partner. Despite his good points you still say you sometimes hate him, but I always tell myself that no-one is perfect, we all have bad points.

Remember this is the worst and most depressing time of year, but think of Spring and longer days being just round the corner. I hope you can shake off those bad vibes and get into a more positive head space. Maybe a book or website can help as there will be many I'm sure.