I think my adult daughter has BorderlinePersonalit y Disorder and

Cossy, I feel your pain. I have a similar sort of family and just to compound issues they have married people with similar issues. There are times I absolutely despair but mostly it has taught me to grab on to the better moments and celebrate them. I have recently been diagnosed with ADHD and really struggled when I was younger but began medication for something else in my 30's which has left me scatty but happy. I recently tried ADHD meds but they were a disaster. Was there any empathy from those who I have supported throughout? Not a bit of it! That was a bit of a kick in the teeth but I have recovered my equilibrium so it is onwards and upwards.

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icanhandthemback

*Cossy*, I feel your pain. I have a similar sort of family and just to compound issues they have married people with similar issues. There are times I absolutely despair but mostly it has taught me to grab on to the better moments and celebrate them. I have recently been diagnosed with ADHD and really struggled when I was younger but began medication for something else in my 30's which has left me scatty but happy. I recently tried ADHD meds but they were a disaster. Was there any empathy from those who I have supported throughout? Not a bit of it! That was a bit of a kick in the teeth but I have recovered my equilibrium so it is onwards and upwards.

Thank you and yes, onwards and upwards!

maddyone

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Thank you x

You have all my empathy, some days can be like a Groundhog Day nightmare haha

Are you aware of the common causes of this disorder? Do you agree that those common causes are in existence? Most therapy deals with cause to eleviate symptoms.

Luminance

Are you aware of the common causes of this disorder? Do you agree that those common causes are in existence? Most therapy deals with cause to eleviate symptoms.

Yes I expect posters are aware

For the family it can be a rather heavy burden but one that must be addressed

Cossy

keepingquiet

He won't be able to claim PIP. He's physically fit and works hard, he just can't keep a job. In his present work he has been there a year which is very good going for him.

As for UC- he hits a brick wall everytime so although I tell him to try he has no trust in the system, so I think he's given up.

Sorry to disagree, but you can be physically fit, in work and still qualify for PIP if your mental health has an impact on your daily life.

You may disagree all you like but if someone doesn't believe there is anything wrong with them, then how are they going to convince an assessor for PIP?

My son has just informed me he has been sacked from his latest job of exactly three weeks. It just goes on and on...

You must feel at the end of your tether tonight keepingquiet. 💐

I’m sorry to hear that keepingquiet.

You’re right Luminance, it can be an extremely heavy burden for the family to carry. Sometimes it seems like a nightmare.

Luminance, can you clarify your understanding of the origins of BPD or Emotionally Unstable Personality Disorder.

I wouldn't wish it on anyone especially if they refuse medication. If your daughter is going willingly to the appointment and you sure too, just make sure, write it down, as a prompt, of all the instances that will help them make the diagnosis. You have get your concerns over.

Cossy, your experience is mirrored for so many, that is a series of mental health, asd, adhd, BPD etc in one family. Of course we acknowledge childhood experiences play a part in personality and mh development. It’s important not to forget the influence of genetics

FriedGreenTomatoes2

You must feel at the end of your tether tonight keepingquiet. 💐

Thankyou but that tether was ended a long time ago. Now I just take things one day at a time.

He has already gone out to work on his other job...it is relentless.

Luminance

Are you aware of the common causes of this disorder? Do you agree that those common causes are in existence? Most therapy deals with cause to eleviate symptoms.

Yes, thank you.

Iam64

Cossy, your experience is mirrored for so many, that is a series of mental health, asd, adhd, BPD etc in one family. Of course we acknowledge childhood experiences play a part in personality and mh development. It’s important not to forget the influence of genetics

Absolutely, there is definitely a genetic link, sadly both my DH and I have a family history of mental health conditions, including ourselves, it’s no surprise our children have too.

What is a positive is that having a MiL with schizophrenia
has made us all very aware and open about some of the signs and we’ve opened discussed and explained mental health conditions to our children from a young age.

We had to, my dear MiL used to come and stay regularly and sometimes she’d refuse her meds and therefor her behaviour was very erratic, and at times, quite funny.

We explained it to our children when they were very small as “Granny having a problem with her head, but as it was on the inside you couldn’t see what was wrong unlike a broken leg or a bruised ankle”, then filled in the gaps at age appropriate times.

She was a sweet lady, who clearly loved her family dearly, but was very different from lots of grandparents, especially when having an “episode”.

She’s in residential care now having developed vascular dementia following TIA’s and is a shadow of her former self.

keepingquiet

You’re correct, of course, the person needs to acknowledge that there’s a “condition” or “issue”.

my daughter with BPD, is very self aware my son, at almost 23, completely denies there is a problem other than general anxiety and hasn’t help down paid work for longer that 3 months, averaging out around 6 weeks.

It’s so frustrating and you have my every sympathy, he drives us mad!

*held down not help!

I just wanted to say that your daughter is very lucky to have you 'on her side' so to speak.

Good luck with everything. Whatever you decide to do,when you've read all the above, I really hope it all works out for you all.

Cossy

keepingquiet

You’re correct, of course, the person needs to acknowledge that there’s a “condition” or “issue”.

my daughter with BPD, is very self aware my son, at almost 23, completely denies there is a problem other than general anxiety and hasn’t help down paid work for longer that 3 months, averaging out around 6 weeks.

It’s so frustrating and you have my every sympathy, he drives us mad!

It is finally good to know that I am not on my own!

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Retroladywriting

I just wanted to say that your daughter is very lucky to have you 'on her side' so to speak.

Good luck with everything. Whatever you decide to do,when you've read all the above, I really hope it all works out for you all.

Thank you. I've found everything I've read helpful. Part of me feels sorry for all of you whose lives have been impacted by the mental illness of a close family member. This BPD (if that is what my daughter has) seems one of the hardest diagnoses to bear. I am fearful for the future, I must admit.
The psychiatrist I spoke to informally last week says the symptoms do generally diminish in a person's forites. That is something to cling on to
. Part of me, however, now feels less alone because I have read your stories.
I have no choice but to keep on going and prepare my notes for that psychiatric assessment and have faith.

Cossy

keepingquiet

He won't be able to claim PIP. He's physically fit and works hard, he just can't keep a job. In his present work he has been there a year which is very good going for him.

As for UC- he hits a brick wall everytime so although I tell him to try he has no trust in the system, so I think he's given up.

Sorry to disagree, but you can be physically fit, in work and still qualify for PIP if your mental health has an impact on your daily life.

Keepingquiet, I agree with Cossy:

www.benefitsandwork.co.uk/

This org is an amazing help and makes clear how to apply successfully. Google it.

Thanks I shall mention ESA to my son. I know someone who claims it and there is nothing wrong with her.

I am still reluctant to mention it to my son because he really loves to work and what would he do with his time if he wasn't working? I think he may get a bit depressed just being in his room all day.

If your son can work and mix with people Keeping Quiet, encourage him to do it. Sittin in his room on a computer will
Be detrimental in every way. He has purpose and interaction at the moment.