Black Dog 23

HVDY I can see Jaffa is working his way into your heart,
The model will take months I expect. There are so many small parts to it and lots of small tissue paper flowers. Yes you can have a photo when it’s finished…….might be a long time coming 🤣

Scaredy-cat can’t walk very far. He uses a stick. And we would be walking in silence and I would be totally stressed.
His hearing is getting worse and I can’t even be in the room when Tv is on.
I’ve asked him to go and get it checked again and get better hearing aids , he won’t use the ones he has.
I don’t know what to do.

I've read your days and there is some lovely thoughtful advice and support given.

Sympathies, BD's xx

Not up to posting much tonight, I did see psychologist today and we walked: wish it were more often tho I just cry most of the way through.

Night night all xx

How has everyone been today? Wyllow3 At least you managed to get out. It probably does you good to unburden yourself a bit. I hope you've been able to get out today. It's been cold but sunny here.

DH and I went to the Triumph factory for the 90 minute tour - very interesting, learned about the process of making motorbikes, from start to finish. A lot of walking (Glad I took a walking stick). 2700 steps, according to DH's step-counter. Had to have 30 minutes' doze when we got back . x

Wyllow I'm glad you get on with the psychologist. How often will you be able to see him/ her? You need to pour everything out to someone who can listen with experience. I expect you feel v tired afterwards but I think it can help.
EllieAnne I can see that walking in complete silence would feel very uncomfortable if you feel so apart and haven't discussed how you feel to each other. It's a shame about the hearing aids as I believe there are some good ones about that could help. Constant noise would irritate me too.
HVDY Seems the tour was interesting- I'm glad you could go with your DH ,sometimes it gives us something to talk about. Has your DH always been interested in motorbikes? Must admit they scare me a bit. No wonder you needed that nap. Hope your hip doesn't play up tonight.

Such a tiring day, we're both shattered. Took Fluffball for a little walk then played with her on the lawn with a favourite toy. DH collected DGS from school and kept him occupied then taken the dog back and GS back to his mum's. My stomach has started with stabbing pains now- no idea why. Going to be an early night for us I think.

Hope you've all managed a day with bright moments. I know it's so hard for those who have such unhappiness. Take care and love to all.x

SweetpeaSue DH had bikes when I met him. A 650cc Triumph Bonneville (beautiful bike) and a 500cc Yamaha. I used to ride pillion, loved it. He swapped them for a 3-wheeler car (able to have one on a motorbike licence) when we wed, then passed his test and had "proper" cars since. He's got a 750cc Kawasaki in the shed, although hasn't ridden it for a few years. You had a busy day, then. Nive to see your GS. Do you play board games? Our GDs always liked them. Hope your horrible pain stops soon.

Doodle Hope your day has been as good as it can be. Much love as always.
HVDY You will understand motorbikes then. How wonderful that your time of meeting up together included motorbikes. It must have been so much fun to be a passenger on a motorbike. I've sometimes wondered what it must feel like to go whizzing down roads (though think.Id be a bit scared tbh).

Sorry all I’ve just got in. Been out for a meal with family.
Really tired so will catch up with you all tomorrow. Sleep well xx

Doodle Great you've been out for a meal with family.
Hope u sleep well too. X

I only see this psychologist once a month, Sweetpeasue. She is so important to me as she went through the awfulness of the break up with my abusive and very mentally ill ex, which still affects me daily tho I dont write about it here much.

She got me safeguarded by SSD, and its actually out of the ordinary for a psychologist to be involved in this long term way. She is the only one who knows the old Wyllow.

Today I had to get up very early for the cleaner and its tiring and I didnt get out. Maybe tomorrow. Feel so ashamed how I look straggly hair and fitting it in with trying to run daily life with little motivation or desires. (as others do in here!)

You did so well with all that walking, HVDY A well deserved snooze there. I'm glad you enjoyed the tour and you got DH out too for something that really engages him.

Sweetpeasue that was a long day. Do you get pain if you overdo things do you think? Not long to go now before the appointment for DH.

Glad you got out with family, Doodle, and will see you tomorrow.

Ellie Anne I didn’t comment on the day you posted but I have a better understanding how it is with your DH and the unhappiness with it.

Thinking of BD’s absent today

Night night all.

Doodle Glad you had a nice evening with your family. Hope you had a lovely meal.

Wyllow3 Your Psychologist sounds marvellous. No wonder you feel so at ease with her. I hope you've had a better day today.

SweetpeaSue How have you and your husband been today?

DH went to Son2's and fixed an outdoor light that wasn't working. He's been at Son1's since about 1.30, replacing the decking there. DH's sister rang me earlier, for about 4 hours!! She said her house is so very cluttered, the "junk" - her late mum's furniture, clothes, etc (been dead 10 years) is now waist - high, and upstairs is shoulder high . She refuses all offers of help, and she hasn't had anyone in to her house for 10 years (including her 3 AC). Hope ALL BDers - old and new - have had a decent day. X

Just lost my post 😑Had dinner now start again.
Wyllow It's such a shame you can't see the psychologist more often when she knows all about your experience with abusive ex and how you felt/ feel about the whole thing . I think it's hard when the 'counselling has finished and I felt a bit adrift when my own sessions ended as he was so good at his job. I wish you could get more help. What happened yo the new carer you were meant to be getting?(Sorry if you've already said) Do you still have the regular worker?
Overdoing thongs can make it worse but I get bowel pain on and off ,not sure if IBS and the other body pains come on if I've rested. First thing on morning feels like I'm made of stone. Hope today you've managed some self care.
Doodle I've seen those models in the garden centre and they're really are amazing. You must have soo much patience- there are so many intricate parts with such detail. Hope your day hasn't been too bad today.
HVDY I can just see you on the bike with your to be DH in your youth! Must have been so exciting , though I'd be terrified. That was some telephone conversation- I'd run out of things yo say but you must get on very well eith your DHs sister. Your sons get on so well with you both and must love their dad to help with things.

Love to all BDs and anyone not mentioned.

Pain early morning and took a while to get moving so didn't take aunt out. Did some shopping and have been trying to assemble some elf bits this afternoon. I'm disappointed. Still have ears to do and hat but I couldn't get facial features right. It required embroidering a mouth while head partly stuffed and couldn't get it right-it looks evil and the stuffing makes it look like it has mumps!
Going to watch Strictly tonight (the first one is really irritating- pairing off and screaming- so will look forward yo the dancing).

Hope everyone is OK. X

Evening all. How is everyone?
Sweetpeasue I expect the model will take a long time to be completed. At least it keeps us out of mischief.
Yes I’ve had a good day thanks. Lunch outside by a lake, cuddled a donkey, chatted to a fireman, bought some glassware, coffee in church, met two friends in different places by accident and now home relaxing with a red wine. Been a really busy day,
Last night was lovely with the family. Had a nice meal and enjoyed it. DS2 popped in to see his nephew too which was nice.
Sorry I’ve missed the bit where you are making elf’s. Are they fabric, knitted, crochet?
HvDY lovely meal thanks. Oh dear is your DHs sister a hoarder do you think. Funny not letting her family visit.
Nice your DH’ helps out with your son’s houses.
Wyllow your psychologist sounds as though she really understands you. Shame you can’t see her more often.
Could you not get someone to come to your home to cut your hair? Ican understand how it might be too much to go to a hairdresser.
Scaredycat hope the weathers been as warm with you as here and hope you’re having a good time,
Ellie Anne, Candy and Nanny Hope you’re all doing ok

SweetpeaSue I was young and slim in those days . Your elves sound cute. DH's sister and I do get on well (although she's odd). Are you making them for Xmas decorations or something?

Doodle Are you sure you didn't talk to a donkey and cuddle a fireman? Glad you had a good day. DH's sister admits to being a hoarder. Pity she shuns all offers of help. Her only GD hasn't been able to go there either.

Hope everyone has been ok. I've got Conjunctivitis in one eye (think I may have had a cat hair in it). Jaffa has been playing a bit with some catnip toys but has ignored the big scratching post I got him. He's eating us out of house and home . Love to all x

Doodle What a day you've had! Cuddled a donkey-but where? Certainly an eventful day for you.
The elf is knitted. I saw a magazine with knitted stuff for - whisper it, Christmas- and it included what was called chocolate orange covers- Santa, penguin, elf ,snow and. Anyway thought I'd have a go. It's not looking good, although I knit the pieces as said. It's the expression on face looks not right.
HVDY Hope your eye feels a bit better tomorrow. Must be so uncomfortable.
Elf is a choc orange cover. I know- sounds silly and it is, really.
Jaffa is very comfortable with you now. Lovely.
My birthday tomorrow. Not sure what we will be doing but it will be just the 2 of us. Son 1 lives away and son 2 is at work in Scotland.
Peaceful nights sleep for all.x

Good for DH today, HVDY - DH’s sister sounds quite a troubled person, you were a good listener. It sounds like that the best way to support her at the moment

Carer returns from 2 weeks holiday next week, Sweetpeasue, all being OK, she will be regular.
Sorry you had a bad morning, missing aunt, and that elf sounds quite a struggle.
Best birthday wishes for Sunday, whatever you do….a posh cafe and cake?

It has been a busy time for you, Doodle Nice accidental meetings. Hugs for when things get tough.

Yes, I want someone to come to my home for haircut and hope carer will help arrange. As well as The List of home stuff.

Night night all, see you tomorrow. Bests for all BD's posting and reading.

SweetpeaSue Happy birthday. Whatever you end up doing, I hope there's some involved. x

Wyllow3 DH's sister is eccentric, has some peculiar ideas in general. Does it help you to write lists? I usually write a list of things I need to do (appointments/calls to make, jobs to do) and feel satisfaction in doing at least a couple.

Up early - Both eyes are swollen, sore, sticky and gritty - I'll get DH to fetch me some drops later. He's going to Son2's again to finish the decking, at 10. Back later x

Good morning lovely friends.
We got home yesterday in afternoon so had lots to do. Today my DD is taking me out( while DH at Golf) for my Birthday and before that grocery delivery. So will be busy but have just caught up with you all- still in bed!!
SweetPeaSue- HAPPY BIRTHDAY! Hope you have a lovely day whatever you do. You deserve the best of days. Big Birthday hug coming your way.🎂🎂🎂🎂🎂🎂
Doodle- so pleased to hear you have enjoyed some good days. May there be many more. You too deserve some light back in your life. Hope you enjoy Church todayxx
HVDY- hoarding is a terrible addiction isn’t it. All my sisters children do it but not as bad as your SiL. Your DH can turn his hand to so many things- he’s a great Dad.
Hope your sore eye improves once you get the drops. Have a good Sunday.
Wyllow- not long now til you see your new carer. A new hair cut will be a good start to feeling less hassled by everything that needs doing. Top of the list!! I,m not making light of things just pleased to see a chink of positivity.
So glad your psychologist has been somebody you can really open up to. Having seen you through all your troubles she understands you well. The old Wyllow is there still- waiting like a butterfly to emerge.
Candy, Nadateturbe,EllieAnne, Whiff, Nanny and all Bds and readers. May Sunday be a gentle day for you all.

HVDY no it was friend who was interested in the fireman. I loved the donkey. So sweet,
Sorry you’re having a problem with your eyes. Has this happened before?
Sweetpeasue Happy birthday 🎂 🥳🥳🎂🥳🎂🥳🎂
Hope you have a lovely day, The animals, (donkey, sheep, goats, pony and hens were part of a local show. They are from a rescuer sanctuary. It was so nice. Really lifted my spirits.
Good for you trying your hand at something new. The elf sounds good can we have a picture when you’ve finished?
Wyllow so pleased your carer starts soon. Fingers crossed it helps a lot.
Scaredycat glad you’re home safely. Have a lovely time with your DD.
I’ve been to church this morning which was nice. This afternoon son’s been round to help with paperwork. Nice to have a catch up

ScaredyCat Hope you had a nice time with your daughter.
SweetpeaSue Have you had a happy birthday?

DH helped Son1 to finish the decking (about 1/2 had previously collapsed and needed to be done). He was rewarded with 6 cans of craft beers. He got me some eye drops (they haven't made any difference yet). Jaffa is eating us out of house and home so I'll be putting him on cooked chicken and turkey instead, from tomorrow. Hope everyone has been ok x

HVDY Aw it's horrible to have eyes sore and painful. Sounds like infection in both eyes now- hope the eyedrops are helping . Jaffa must be the best fed cat ever ( after Mr Cooper of course).
Thankyou I've had a better day than I expected.😊
Wyllow You'll be looking forward to that carer returning next week. I need a proper haircut too. Only DH has been doing it since Covid. He just levels off the length - I'm scared to go to hairdressers so should follow your example and get one to come to me. Hope your day hasn't been too bad. I'm sure you'll feel better if the carer can help with getting someone for the house jobs.
Scaredycat Ooh thankyou for my big birthday hug. ☺️ Always welcome
Hope you've enjoyed time out with your DD. Can be nice to get home again after a holiday. Nowhere like home is there.
Doodle Hope you've had a nice time with friends and at church. You were tremendously busy yesterday -you must have slept like a baby.
Nadateturbe Thinking of you and hoping things are better.

After painful early morning and feeling sorry for myself , we went to a shopping 'outlet ' place intending to go to Pavers. Bought a comfy pr of boots there AND a nice pr of waterproof ones with fur round from Sketchers. Also lovely dressing gown in sale in Next.
On the way son1 rang and we had such a long chat on phone ( which wasn't expected) which felt so good after the disappointment at not seeing him last time. Son2 texted me from Shetlands(work) and his wife , .y DIL and her little girl visited at the time with flowers and she chatted to me for a while which was really easy and comfortable. If my family feel close -I'm sorted.
Oh and yes I had 🍰.

Sending love to all not mentioned and those who read. X

Scardeycat very very best birthday wishes! A very busy time, and I hope that you had a nice time with DD.

I’m glad you went to church and so glad you got some help with paperwork from sons Doodle.

HVDY sorry to hear about your swollen eyes. Really nasty. May the drops work quickly!
Your DH is certainly getting out more than before.

Sweetpeasue good to read today was better than expected. Some good purchases there and a nice surprise for the son1 chat, and the gift of family feeling close.

Birthday hugs for both Scaredycat and Sweetpeasue

In terms of getting things done, lists don’t help, hard to explain, but a big chunk of me doesn’t want to self care or make things happen. Mostly, its surviving feelings of constant bad thoughts and feelings, like having to force myself to have a shower, cook, eat, make essential phone calls - most of the time all I can do is distract. Thank you for butterfly idea. It must be frustrating to read this state of being.

Love to BD’s present and just reading, no one forgotten.

SweetpeaSue Glaad you felt able to get out yesterday. Your purchases sound good. Your day turned out well, then. Nice that you saw your DIL and her daughter, and that your sons were in contact.

Wyllow3 I have days like that but it must be hard to feel like that all the time. Hugs.

My eyes feel much better, but I didn't feel like going to the day centre. Wish I'd made the effort to go but I've been sitting around since 7.30 and still haven't had a shower yet. It's bright and sunny, so I'll try to get moving and go somewhere today. Hope ALL BDers manage to have a decent day x

Sorry ,I hadn't realised your birthday same as mine Scaredycat Belated birthday wishes and a birthday hug for you too.
HVDY Sounds like you've had a what's the point day today too. Hoping Jaffa gives you a lift and day centre will be there for you next time.x

Sorry everyone can't say a lot. Saw GP- arranged blood tests.
Managed to plant bulbs under tree.
So much pain everywhere now so can't write more. Crossed fingers I'll feel better tomorrow for DHs v early big appt.
Love to all.x