Black Dog 23

Doodle Yes Fluffball is good in Costa and lies under table and yes I'd lend her to you gladly ( if she was mine) and I just know she would comfort you. So glad you saw son ,who'd been away. I will see son1 on Saturday, they're coming down, and I've not seen him since the May wedding so looking forward to that.
I've pain every day but some days worse than others ,it's the tiredness combined that's hard. Everyone has their own burdens don't they. It must be so hard to face them alone so I realise I'm lucky . I do hope you cry when you need to and don't hold it in. Doesn't matter what others think . Big hug for you tonight.x
Candy I think the weather might be kind to you at your caravan over next few dys. October has been such a mild one this Yr. You need that relaxed time to yourself when you usually are so busy. I noticed today in our nearer Costa it had a dog - friendly sign up to. Yes I always check with manager first.
Wyllow Aw your little neice will appreciate the guest bed in her room so she's not alone. So pleased her op went well and she's been properly looked after. Yes, NHS at it's best. Sorry about that burn and good for that worker to help with that. She sounds such a treasure so a shame she can't come more often but it's someone to look forward to every week.
Another savoury? How about a nice small piece of salmon ( think I remember you saying you used to have some).
HVDY I bet your DGD will look so cute in her Halloween outfit. So pleased Jaffa is taking an interest by jumping onto windowsill. Bittersweet that she might be wanting outside. She has a wonderful home with you and couldn't get better. I think I'll see my SGS on Saturday . He's 17 now . A voucher is best thing as you never know what they want as they get older. Hope the roast dinner was good.
Back shortly.

Lovely picture Ellie Anne obviously polar bears like pumpkins too. Hope things are a bit better for you. I’ve been so down lately and I sympathise with all you go through every day just to get by.
HVDY that’s so nice of you to buy your SGS a gift. It must mean a lot to him to be included in the family. That’s so nice you all get on.
Hope Little girl enjoys her Halloween.
Candy hope you had a good break at the caravan. These dark evenings are awful aren’t they. Yes I’m very emotional too and very sentimental, which makes life hard at the moment.
Wyllow glad things went well for your DGD. Hope she’s not too uncomfortable and makes a good recovery soon.
So sorry you’ve burnt yourself that’s so painful. Glad you managed your walk. I understand that feeling of being down when she goes. Aloneness isn’t much fun
Scaredycat I hope the birthday treat went well. Must be sad for you seeing your friend like that.
.Sweetpeasue I wish I could borrow fluff ball for a while. We can’t have pets here but it’s not so good in flats for them anyway. Hope you haven’t been in too much pain today.

Wyllow so glad the operation went well.
Candy I had a severe uti. First lot of antibiotics didn’t help Had to get different ones. I could not stay in but made sure was always near a loo.
Couldn’t sleep at night for the constant pressure.
This picture was in my newspaper today . Hope it makes someone smile.

Wyllow3 Glad you managed to go for a walk yesterday. Your care worker sounds patient and understanding - just what you need. I hope your scald heals up ok soon. I was always told to put that type of burn under running cold water for 25 minutes then cover it with clingfilm. Son1 does clerical/computer work, so nothing manual, thankfully.

ScaredyCat Enjoy your break away. When do you close the caravan for winter? LittleGirl has a Halloween costume - Elmer the Patchwork Elephant (From a children's book, apparently). They're going to a party tonight. Jaffa IS an expensive cat, but he's ours now, and we'll do our best by him. He jumped up onto the windowsill and looked out, for the 1st time, today, so he must be feeling better. Hope the weather stays decent for you.

EllieAnne How are you feeling now?

How's everyone been today? I got my nails done, bought a present for my friend's birthday in a couple of weeks, and a voucher for SGS (no idea what 14-year-old boys like but he'll put it towards new clothes). DH is cooking a roast dinner. Hope ALL ok x

Afternoon all, finally caught up. We have come to our caravan for a few days so relaxing a bit. I’m not good without routine but realise I just can’t win! It’s not the same here during the winter months and I don’t like darker nights, but at least the weather has been kind. Back home tomorrow.
HVDY I’m so sorry for the problems you are having with Jaffa. It must put extra strain on you both emotionally and financially. He is lucky to have found you and you’re obviously doing everything you can to help him. I too am thinking about cooking for my younger dog because he’s such a fussy eater. I already make liver cake as a treat so I’ll look for something liver based because he likes that. Pandered pooch or what! Has LittleGirl got a Halloween outfit? I’m sure she will look super cute.
Wyllow I’m sorry you’ve had a nasty burn. I’ve had a few of those and they can be very painful. I hope yours heals soon. It’s good you get on with your carer but a pity you don’t get to see her often. I wonder if there any voluntary organisations close to you who do a similar thing? My brother works for one and he visits someone regularly. It may be another option for you. Glad your DGD’s op went well. Sounds like she had a big op bless her. I hope today is being kind to you.
Sweetpeasue sounds like you have a good outlet with fluffball. It’s good Costa are allowing dogs inside now. I’ll have to check with my local one as it may be down to the managers rather than a nationwide directive. I hope you are pain free today.
Scaredycat you do well coping with tiredness with your AF. I’ve had a few chest infections and those have been bad enough but temporary thankfully. I hope you have been able to enjoy your day with your friend.
EllieAnne sorry to hear you’ve been poorly. I hope you are feeling better. I hope it hasn’t affected you mentally too being more housebound. Sending a big hug.
Doodle glad to see you’re still koko. Sounds like you had a nice time with your in-laws, they seem very nice. Good you got to see your DS too. I think you’re right in thinking you should cry when you need to . I’ve heard lots of times what a release it is. My problem is that I can never cry for very long, something in me makes me stop and I’m sure it would do me more good to release it. Even when extremely sad things have happened it’s the same. I’m quite an emotional person and can cry easily, just not for very long. You must do what you feel is right for you and also express yourself as much as you need to. I hope today has been a good one.
Thinking of Nanny Nadaterturbe whywhywhy and others not personally mentioned. Love to all xx

Sweetpeasue fluffball does seem to be a nice sort of cuddly distraction, with her antics. A very justified rant indeed. Another hug to feel better times on their way.

Today was NHS at its best though for my DGD who had her leg operation (break/reset ankles into shape) and it went well, she has to be in for a fortnight, has a room to herself and parent bed.

I’m so sorry your tiredness has got worse and you’ve not pulled back from the covid Scaredycat. Tomorrow sounds like a bit of a challenge, may it go as well as possible.

What a nice day with LittleGirl, HVDY. Lovely to have her in your life. Glad that your son can still manage work.

It’s good to hear you relaxed a bit during the lunch, Doodle. A little island in the day with son too - knowing he made the effort - warm thoughts for the other bits!

Yes carer today, a walk, its hard when she goes, it did help a bit, she is very good with me, never pushing, helping me decide things or just telling me what to choose if I cant decide.Got some good advice on a nasty burn I got from the kettle on my hand.
After Olives….have to think of another savoury.

Doodle I'm glad you had a nice time and had company today. Nice that your son saw you, even briefly. My Son1 has had Fibromyalgia for a few years now. He was about 36 at the time it started - he's 43 now. He manages to get on with work, etc. GD1 is excellent with the little one, very good at entertaining her. Hope you have a good sleep.

Sweetpeasue little fluff all sounds like she keeps you all entertained. Animals are great companions.
Glad you could get out a bit today. Is fluff all good when you go to Costa? How has the pain been today.
GPS seem to forget to do referrals quite a lot these days. Hope you don’t have too long to wait to be seen.
Scaredycat we used to get pumpkins for our grandchildren to carve. Always such a mess from the insides but they loved doing it. Yes church today. I always enjoy it and the coffee and chat after. Such a nice bunch of people.
I went for lunch with my DIl and her mum today. Had such a nice time. Really lazy lunch so relaxed and nice. Cheered me up a lot otherwise it would have been an afternoon on my own.
My son drove round to his MILs just to see me for 5 minutes. He was working so couldn’t join us for lunch but it was so lovely that he makes the effort to pop over and see me. (He’s been away so I haven’t seen him for a while)
Sorry you’re feeling so tired. I hope you’re not overdoing things during the day, housework etc.
HVDY sorry about your son. I know a few people who have fibromyalgia and it causes them a lot of problems. He’s quite young to have that isn’t he? What a lovely day with 2 of your granddaughters. How nice for them to spend time together. I bet they both had a great time.
Wyllow I’m glad you’re about to have your carer more regularly. That should help you with continuity of walking etc. I hope it helps. I’ve had a better day today mainly because I’ve been with people most of the day. I can’t imagine how awful it is for you at home day in day out. Hope your tum has settled down now.

SweetpeaSue That's disgraceful, but probably not unheard of. When the NHS is working properly, it's great, but a lot of the time it really isn't good. The lack of communication between different departments is so bad. Poor lady. I hope she gets the vital treatment she needs soon. Dog licks - yuk. She loves you, though.

HVDY What a very full day - Littlegirl will just love coming to you.
Yes I havnt felt quite as tired today. Wish I could sleep through the night though , it always wakes me. But I just have to believe there will be more better days.
Fluffball gives us a boost to get out there when not feeling like it. My DH went to get her this morning when I was still in bed and she bounded up the stairs licking me all over- ugh! what a wake up call. She's funny though.

Scaredycat Getting old is really not for cissies, agreed. You do amazing to keep going with all the AF trouble and tiredness. Hope you're rested enough for tomorrow so you're able to enjoy your time with your friend. ( My admiration is for you , you never complain) .
Fluffball really is adorable - she knows it of course. There's a notice up in the Costa we went to saying we'll behaved dogs are now allowed inside. The manager told me it's recent development and was put in place a couple of mths ago, though I've not seen the notice in other Costas yet. He said it applied to all.

I have to have a sound off.
A lady has terminal cancer and meant to have chemo couple of weeks ago- cancelled and new appt for today.
All prepped with steroids and geared up for 1st session. Arrives and told , not on list! Nurse shown paper appt for today. Says sorry but Oncologist on leave and no other arrangements had been made.
I'm fuming and feel so sorry -- where is the compassion, what's happening? I thought cancer departments were - had to be- more on the ball than the chaos everywhere else.
Words fail me but rant over.😡

Wyllow3 It's hard to get motivated when your mood is low. I hope you had a better day today and that chatted with your worker.

SweetpeaSue That little dog sounds so cute and such a delight. I hope you've been better today, although dog-sitting must get tiring.

ScaredyCat I always feel fresher after a haircut. Do you have yours blow-dried? I think you're right about Jaffa being so greedy. I've had a delivery of high-protein stuff today, but I think he's missing his dry food as well.

LittleGirl arrived at 9am, DH came in at 10.30 from meeting his friends for breakfast. We collected GD1, went to a country park and had a walk round, then pub for lunch and garden centre this afternoon (huge sandpit which LittleGirl loves) and looked at some Xmas decorations. Both girls have gone now. Hope ALL BDers have had a decent day x

Hi all.
Been for a haircut this morning- I was so tired I could have dropped off in the chair. Since the last Covid the AF tiredness has been worse. Tomorrow we are taking our other friend with early dementia out for her birthday so it’s a feet up afternoon.
Getting old is really not for cissies!!
SweetPeaSue- At last a referral so you can get a proper diagnosis. I feel so sorry as Fibromyalgia is a difficult thing for you to contemplate but at least you can get proper help and advice if that’s what is causing all your pain and fatigue.
So admire you for making the effort to go to MH Group- an hour was a good idea .
Fluffball sounds adorable- it’s really nice for you both to have the enjoyment of doggy company without any personal responsibility. Doggy people have to sit outside at our local Costas - do you?
HVDY- Jaffa may eat as he does because perhaps he was homeless for a while and never knew when he would get anything to eat. One of my DD rescues would eat all day if he could- he was a street cat.
How annoying that late delivery must have been but at least it did come. I really don’t like the putting it away.
I,m sorry your Son has Fibro - he must get very tired .
How is LittleGirl this week?
Wyllow- glad you got your shopping done. Sometimes it must be a huge effort . Hope you enjoyed the Olives- what next?
So pleased your worker is now back on a more regular basis- it will be so good for you if you can forge a trusting comfortable relationship.
Hope you got out for your walk- if you could get out a bit more regularly it will help kickstart your return to fitness.
You will get there - be kind to yourself Wyllowxx

Hope you’re all having as good a day as possiblex

HVDY We were the same re Halloween- it just wasn't a big thing then, though mischief night was still recognised in my own childhood. Seemed an evil thing to do- putting butter on people's door handles!
What a late delivery and late to have to put everything away.
I get aches everywhere and stiffness but the complete tiredness is making me low. I'm sorry for your son having to work through it all.
Wyllow Glad you managed your shop yesterday and good for you- the olives.
You must get so disillusioned with the bad tum days and it's a lot to put up with on top of everything else. Hope you managed to get out with your worker today - she must be a beacon of light for you in all the what's the point thoughts. It will be good for your body to get a little walk. I understand the no motivation for koko regarding physical activity at present as my tiredness stops me so many times. Today we've had Fluffball so a little walk and Costa visit. Thankyou so much for the hug.Returning one to you. I hope things get a little better for you with the regular carer starting weekly.

Had fluffball for some hrs today. She's so mischievous. She runs after a ball and won't drop it. This morning while getting ready in bathroom she ran off with my scrunchie - wouldn't give it back for love nor money. Last week it was my elf off the coffee table.

Hope everyone is having a reasonable day. Love to all.

I’m sorry to hear that you had to take Jaffa to the vets HVDY. But what a difference you have made to his life! That’s a very late delivery, glad it did come…..

IDoodle I’ll be honest and say, not good, and sending back a big hug, for you.

Sweetpeasue how disappointing to get a belated referral. I truly hope you will find some help maybe a group so you aren’t so alone with it. Well done in getting to the MH group. and a hug, for those intractable thoughts and pain relief..

Yes got my shopping done yesterday and did buy those olives .
Today tho had to have a tum at home morning and dressing gown day and dealing with hours of just having to koko with bad thoughts, getting very unfit as not motivated. Tomorrow worker comes, the carer one should be once a week now on and hope we get a walk whatever the weather.

Doodle Sorry you've had a low day. Hope tomorrow will be brighter.

ScaredyCat I've never carved a pumpkin. It wasn't much of a big deal when our sons were children. I remember their "costumes" were a black binliner, some plastic fangs and some face paints .

SweetpeaSue I'm glad you're being referred. Hope you won't have to wait long. Son1 has got Fibromyalgia, and his feet, hands and shoulders ache a lot.

Jaffa certainly isn't off his food - he scoffs the lot in one go and is always hungry. I've treated him for worms, so it's not that. I hope it's nothing else. He's such a lovely, gentle cat. Our Morrisons groceries were due 6.30-7.30. Had a text at 6, saying they were running 1.5 hours late - it turned up 10 minutes ago!

Hope ALL BDers have a restful night. x

HVDY Aw poor Jaffa. Those gums must be making him feel miserable. Hope the anti- inflammatory med doesn't affect his tummy. You are giving him the very best care.
Yes got to see GP. It's good that he has F2F appts,something our practice has just started doing.He is the allotted GP who only does F2F. He is referring me to Rheumatologist ( he hadn't done it last time!) as thinks Fibromyalgia. Says if it is Rheumatologist may be able to tell me about support groups and therapies. I'm just so depressed about it.
Doodle Oh I'm so sorry it's been a bad day for you. Is it worse if you've not seen anybody? It's so hard to know what to say as if it was myself I don't think anything anyone said would make a difference. How can it? I hope you feel less anxious after dinner with a nice glass of wine.
Wyllow How has your day been? Hope you're OK but you can still say if you're not.

Bad day for exhaustion and pain. Just feel can hardly keep eyes open and focus. GP thinks I had bad reaction to flu jab last time I saw him and thinks the jab accentuated all my symptoms. Blood tests didn't show inflammation so referring to Rheumatologist.
Went to MH group ,DH drove, and picked me up after an hr as knew I couldn't stay the 2 hrs. At least I went.

Hoping everyone has a comfortable night. Extra hugs for those who feel so desolate and low. Take care of yourself all. X

Hi everyone.
Hope you’re all ok.
HVDY- I,ve only carved a pumpkin once - it wasnt the best one you,ve ever seen!! I expect GGC have done theirs though.
You have quite a project with Jaffa but I know he,ll have a good life with your obvious love for him. It took my DD 2 years to get her 2 little Qatar cats to become the happy boys they are now.
SweetPeaSue- No the GGC don’t come on Halloween night as they live a car ride away and go round their local street. The gourds were my present and are now on the fireplace!!
We are lucky aren’t we that the ADs have helped us. I was so scared of them for so long.
Hope you got to talk to the GP today.
Doodle-yes never be afraid to cry - you need to release those feelings and it doesn’t matter a stuff about what anyone thinks.
It will lessen as time goes by but until then do whatever helps you.
Is it Church tomorrow? You must look forward to seeing your kind friends there.
Yes it’s lovely having the GGC not far away - it’s about 2 miles. But our other 2 are both a long way away in different counties.
Wyllow- hope today has been kinder to you. Take care.
Nadateturbe,Candy,EllieAnne,Whiff, Nanny, and everyone not mentioned hope you have a peaceful night

HVDY I’m sure Jaffa will respond well to your TLC. Poor little lad. It’s awful when animals can’t tell us they are in pain. His poor gums. He’s so lucky to have you caring for him.
Wyllow how has your day been. Mine has been awful. Can’t shift the anxiety and gloom today. Been in the dumps all day.
Did you get your shopping done?
How’s everyone else? Have you all had a good day?

SweetpeaSue Did you manage to see the GP?

How's everyone else been today? Jaffa has been drooling excessively, so took him to the vet. His gums are very red and sore. More anti-inflammatory liquid to give him for a week. Apparently, it's one of the main problems with FIV. Hope ALL BDers have seen a bit of sunshine x

Nigh night and it's of love to all BD's, will see you tomorrow. xx

SweetpeaSue I'm glad you haven't been quite so bad today. Hope the GP will give you some advice tomorrow.

Doodle It's very different, I know, but I remember being in the middle of Asda and suddenly crying, when my mum had died a few months prior. Never mind what strangers think.

Jaffa seems to be doing well. Most cat food contains vey little actual meat, so I'm going to cook some meals, with chicken, liver, kidneys (I've never eaten or cooked offal) and vegetables. He's my project .

Nadateturbe, EllieAnne, Candy6, Wyllow3 and all other BDers - hope you are all ok. Goodnight, all x

ScaredyCat The GC have all carved pumpkins (so did the adults). I'm glad the ADs helped you, too.

nadateturbe nice to hear from you and your kind post. Hope you’re ok and your problems are resolved soon.
Wyllow glad you managed a shower today. Hope the shopping trip is ok tomorrow.
whywhywhy sorry you’re so down. There are many of us on this thread who have resorted to antidepressants for a variety of reasons. We have found them helpful. Have you been to see your GP,
HVDY lucky Jaffa is being so well cared for. I think he was meant to find you. Hope his mouth isn’t too sore and he’s managing ok.
Scaredycat I’m coming to the conclusion that you’re right an I should just cry when I need to. It frightens me sometimes that I might never stop but advice seems to be that it will help. Obviously there are times when it’s not convenient (middle of the supermarket, during a meal out) but at home I should just let go, Movicol is a staple in our house too. Find it works better than many other things. DH relied upon it for years.
Nice your GGC popped in. Lovely they’re close enough to visit.
Sweetpeasue hope you had a better night. How have you been today?
Nanny, thank you that’s kind. It’s a hard thing to cope with isn’t it? x

Wyllow Hope you managed supermarket shop today and there were olives. I too have movicol on repeat prescription for tum troubles. It helps so much.
whywhywhy welcome and sorry you've been so low. I think my experience of ADs has been much like Scardycat in that I really didn't want to go that route. I did start to feel much better when I took them and wished I'd taken them earlier. They can't make everything great but have certainly helped me.
Scaredycat That was sweet of your GGC to quickly pop in this morning and show you their gourds. Do they come to you all dressed up on Halloween night?
I have given a little dog some thought but if I'm honest feel afraid of taking on the responsibility. They need walking no matter how tired/ill you feel.
HVDY You are giving Jaffa every chance of getting well and for his mouth to heal. He's a very lucky cat that you have experience of looking after so many others too. I have what I think is fibro pain every day and intense fatigue but today hasn't been as bad so far, thanks.
Doodle Hope today has been OK for you. Glad you managed the dinner at son's after all. It must be so difficult coming home without your DH , after being with rest of family. I think of you every day and wonder how you are.
EllieAnneWhiff**Candy**Nadateturbe**Nanny and others not mentioned, hoping you're all OK and seen some brightness in your day.