Therapist for daughter in law relationship issues

Have a look on the BACP website where you can put in your postcode and search for a therapist. BACP is British Association Counsellors and Psychotherapists. Good luck.

Fleurpepper

What is a 'good fit' I wonder. Someone who tells you what you want to hear? (have NO experience at all myself btw).

Well done Mamani for acknowledging there is an issue, and even more, for being prepared to work on it to make it work for your son and family.

No, someone who makes you feel comfortable opening up, can build rapport and trust, is honest and open

Cadeby

I can see you have no experience FP. A good fit would be somebody you feel comfortable and safe with, somebody who provides the sort of therapy that works well for you, somebody who is well qualified and has good boundaries.

On a practical note somebody who is easily accessible by your chosen form of transport and who charges seomthing you can afford.

Thank you. Yes, I can see this would be ideal. Was just wondering however if for some, just as with doctors- it may be someone who will tell them what they want to hear. Thinking of a couple of case I know who changed many times because they didn't want to hear what the therapist said.

You might find CAT (Cognitive Analytic Therapy) helpful. It is a relational model and looks at the unhelpful relational patterns that we can get into. There is an excellent self-help book www.amazon.co.uk/Change-Better-Through-Practical-Psychotherapy/dp/082646176X?tag=gransnetforum-21
Therapists can be found here www.acat.me.uk/page/home along with further information.

Cadeby

Look for a BACP registered therapist. Book an initial session to get a feel for how they work and what they offer.

Yes make sure they belong to an accredited organisation
BACP is one of the major ones, not the only one, here is a list, but the first one UKCP - The UK Council for Psychotherapy is also as reliable. (my past counsellor had both)

uktherapyguide.com/accreditation#:~:text=BACP%20is%20the%20largest%20governing,towards%20an%20emotionally%20healthy%20society.

I can see you have no experience FP. A good fit would be somebody you feel comfortable and safe with, somebody who provides the sort of therapy that works well for you, somebody who is well qualified and has good boundaries.

On a practical note somebody who is easily accessible by your chosen form of transport and who charges seomthing you can afford.

Someone you feel safe and comfortable with Fleurpepper and you feel you can trust.

What is a 'good fit' I wonder. Someone who tells you what you want to hear? (have NO experience at all myself btw).

Well done Mamani for acknowledging there is an issue, and even more, for being prepared to work on it to make it work for your son and family.

Smileless2012

Good advice Cadeby. What makes a good therapist for one doesn't necessarily make a good therapist for another.

Don't be deterred if it takes time to find the 'right' one Mamani.

This is excellent advice. Not all therapists are a good fit for everyone and sometimes it takes a few tries to find a good fit !!

Good advice Cadeby. What makes a good therapist for one doesn't necessarily make a good therapist for another.

Don't be deterred if it takes time to find the 'right' one Mamani.

Look for a BACP registered therapist. Book an initial session to get a feel for how they work and what they offer.

Thanks all. The reason I ask is that most therapists offer virtual visits these days. So if there’s a really good one who specializes in these types of situations, I am happy to just do the virtual visits.

Whiff

Mamani why? I hated my mother in law for 40 years. We never needed counselling. Couldn't stand eachother. But I always looked after her even after my husband died aged 47 and she denied she had a son or 2 grandchildren and refused to go too their weddings. We all have a moral code to live by my conscience would not let me abandon her. I sat by her bedside for 2 days while she died . It was only after she was dead did her side of the family turned up.

My son estranged me 4 years ago and I know it's down to my daughter in law's jealously. But they forget all the times I held her while she cried because her own parents had taken her brother and sister and buggered off to wear she was born . I loved my daughter in law as my own. But after my son cruel and cowardly sent me an email dumping me as his mom and I will never understand why as I hadn't done anything wrong . My son and daughter in law knows what a bad mother ,mother in law and a grandmother is as they knew my husband's mom.

Even after the estrangement I still love them until I found out what she wrote on Reddit about my husband and one sentence killed any love I had for her . FIL died to get away from MIL. I thought how can anyone be so wicked to write such a thing about a man she never knew and my husband died in agony from cancer. Haven't spoken or seen my son since my birthday April 2020. He's choice not mine . I still love my son but the son I had for 32 years not who sent the email and who he is now. He not only cut me out of his life but all our side of the family.

I have 3 grandson's with them I don't know the youngest name or exact date of birthday but his 4 now his brother's will be 6&8 this year.

So why do you want to mend something that is so broken you think counselling with help . The only winner will be counsellor as they will only be after your money.

What horrible advice. I mean truly shockingly horrible. Why mend something? The better question would be why your “morale” code suggests you were right to live in misery and have a relationship you and the other party hated. . Heaven forbid the original poster here wants to work on developing a happy healthy relationship with a family member right? Honestly shaking my head. Kudos to you op for recognizing that a counselor may be able to help.

Mamani why? I hated my mother in law for 40 years. We never needed counselling. Couldn't stand eachother. But I always looked after her even after my husband died aged 47 and she denied she had a son or 2 grandchildren and refused to go too their weddings. We all have a moral code to live by my conscience would not let me abandon her. I sat by her bedside for 2 days while she died . It was only after she was dead did her side of the family turned up.

My son estranged me 4 years ago and I know it's down to my daughter in law's jealously. But they forget all the times I held her while she cried because her own parents had taken her brother and sister and buggered off to wear she was born . I loved my daughter in law as my own. But after my son cruel and cowardly sent me an email dumping me as his mom and I will never understand why as I hadn't done anything wrong . My son and daughter in law knows what a bad mother ,mother in law and a grandmother is as they knew my husband's mom.

Even after the estrangement I still love them until I found out what she wrote on Reddit about my husband and one sentence killed any love I had for her . FIL died to get away from MIL. I thought how can anyone be so wicked to write such a thing about a man she never knew and my husband died in agony from cancer. Haven't spoken or seen my son since my birthday April 2020. He's choice not mine . I still love my son but the son I had for 32 years not who sent the email and who he is now. He not only cut me out of his life but all our side of the family.

I have 3 grandson's with them I don't know the youngest name or exact date of birthday but his 4 now his brother's will be 6&8 this year.

So why do you want to mend something that is so broken you think counselling with help . The only winner will be counsellor as they will only be after your money.

I would start the search at 'family therapist' and then go from there. Some can even give referrals to others with more specialized focuses.

Whatever your situation is, kudos to you for caring enough to want to work on it! Best of luck!

Strange question, as we GN’s are spread all over, often in different countries.
You can find a therapist through your GP surgery, or via the internet, which would probably be quicker.
They are, however, a bit like hairdressers - if you feel you don’t ‘gel’ with one, find another.

You can search online for a therapist near you specialising in family relationships.