How can I be more robust mentally?

The moving finger writes
And having writ, moves on
Not all thy piety
Nor all thy wit
Can lure it back
To cancel half a line
Nor all they tears
Wash out one word of it

Dont sweat the small stuff

If Princess Diana could get Prince Charles Name wrong when she got married then anyone can so, you made a mistake, so what, you won’t do it again , try not to let it get you down.

Hahaha omg missdeke that was a big mistake ! I think I’d of had to put him right that’s made me laugh so much

If it is any consolation, my late husband (retired vicar) used to say ''while they are having a dig at you, they are leaving some other poor soul alone.''

There are people who will always find something/someone to complain about.

Are you nearing retirement? Someone after your job, or have we gone through so much on TV where every sound Biden uttered and every move he made was pulled apart by everyone until he threw in the towel

It is bound to make people look at those around them. It isn't your fault. What's in a name? The person should forgive if you have apologised. What more can you do?

It will continue until someone finds something else to pull apart.

pascal30

missdeke

When I got married in 1969 the vicar called my husband Trevor all the way through the ceremony, he only noticed when we signed the register although many guests were sniggering at the time. No idea who Trevor was! I thought it was funny.

I can imagine it was most amusing for the guests.. it's a bit difficult to interrupt a vicar in full flow.. did the name stick!!!

No it didn't really, only during disagreements when I'd come out with 'I didn't marry you, I married Trevor'. It always diffused the situation and made us laugh.

Doodledog

www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZYzQFudZ70k



Sorry - seriously, the others are right. Everyone makes mistakes, and we all notice our own more than we do others. If there's a funny side, try to see it.

Brilliant flash from the past 😆

www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZYzQFudZ70k



Sorry - seriously, the others are right. Everyone makes mistakes, and we all notice our own more than we do others. If there's a funny side, try to see it.

Kate1949

I feel for you. When I was working, I was cajoled (bullied) into taking notes of office meetings by manager This was not part of my job but she wore me down.

I found it very stressful and the manager would scribble all over my typed notes, altering a lot of what I'd recorded. I hated it.

I had to list attendees at the start of the notes. On one occasion I missed the name of one attendee off in error. She was someone I knew well and socialised with. On receipt of her copy she came to my desk and pointed out my error. I apologised profusely, explaining how stressful I found it. She said I had missed her off deliberately as she was of a different culture to the rest of the attendees. She implied that she could report me. I was mortified. These things, which seem small to some, can get very serious in the workplace.

God that’s rough Kate1949. And you think you know someone? That’s plain rotten of her!

I really feel for you, it’s awful but the feelings will subside in time. Learn from it and move on. Who on this earth hasn’t made mistakes? The fact it was more public makes it worse for you, but you can only apologise. Our CEO received a written complaint about me for getting a name wrong in an email. I’d transposed two letters in a long complex first name. No excuses, my fault 100%. She replied very nastily and I apologised profusely. She said I was racist and asked to speak with the manager but I was the manager. So she complained in writing formally. Ah well.

missdeke

When I got married in 1969 the vicar called my husband Trevor all the way through the ceremony, he only noticed when we signed the register although many guests were sniggering at the time. No idea who Trevor was! I thought it was funny.

I can imagine it was most amusing for the guests.. it's a bit difficult to interrupt a vicar in full flow.. did the name stick!!!

You made a mistake, and doubtless apologised for it.

We all make mistakes, and when it happens all we can do is apologise and move on.

One of my school teachers told us "the person who never makes a mistake, never makes anything at all" which is true.

Don't let a manager who apparently does not know his own job get you down.

Do your work as well as you can, and if, in three months' time you are not feeling a great deal more confident, start looking for another job.

Try to make a list of 5 things you did well, to try to get a sense of balance and keep it near you. If you feel yourself getting overwhelmed by feelings about your error, read the list. Go to the loo and read it aloud to yourself in the mirror. It would be good to have a more supportive manager, but often we don’t and need to learn to support ourselves. I hope you feel better soon.

You made a mistake. You regret it, which is natural. You can do whatever you can to apologise. BUT people do make mistakes especially in high profile situations. I think it may help to find a way to get this in perspective - and you could get support to find your way through. You could find a life coach, or a therapist - talking to an appropriate person can make a huge difference and help you step back and get perspective on this. You have not suddenly become a bad person because you made a mistake. I guess you are very conscientious and are feeling it out of proportion. I also suggest you might like to read the well known paperback "Feel the Fear and Do It Anyway" by Susan Jeffers - it can help you when things go wrong, and find a more relaxed way ahead. I wish you well and hope you can rediscover your worth as a person.

Please don't worry, move on and take more care in future.
If it was a wedding, you are not alone with getting names wrong. I have been to two weddings recently and the celebrant made a mistake with a name at both of them. It caused smiles and laughter from the congregation both times and no-one was offended.

Agree with Laura Noderr - it does matter a lot if you’re in a ceremony honouring people in some way and you get the name wrong. I used to be part of graduation ceremonies at home and overseas and especially in the latter it was imperative to get the names and the intonation right - it could be an insult not only to the person receiving the award but also to the family in the audience - so honestly, if your job is to make presentations to people then you should rehearse to get it right. Sort the problem out at source and there’ll be no need for tips to stop beating yourself up. However, if your confidence is now very low than take a strengths-based approach and consider everything thst you actually do get right in your job.

When I got married in 1969 the vicar called my husband Trevor all the way through the ceremony, he only noticed when we signed the register although many guests were sniggering at the time. No idea who Trevor was! I thought it was funny.

Thank you for all your words of wisdom and kind thoughts.
I shall take all of your good advice and work to put it behind me, and try and forgive myself. x

has an official complaint been lodged.
if so, follow the procedure and seek union support.
if not a union member, join immediately.
unity is strength, and there are various benefits.
if no official complaint, then just set a plan for yourself to avoid such errors in the future.
eg if a foreign name, seek advice from those who know and rehearse your part, aloud, several times.
all the best.

I would take Dee1012 s advice. Best wishes from me who often put her foot in it at work and gave her herself a right Royal hard time - don't do it - move on, its the best advice.

No it hasn't affected me badly Freshair. It was a long time ago. I have been retired for years. I was just trying to let the OP know that this happens to others too.

Kate1949 💐 this has obviously affected you badly. It's micromanagement at its worst. I've just called someone at work. I don't care about the repercussions anymore, I won't have people giving ne tasks to do then trashing stuff or rewriting. This is one person in a huge organisation, I rarely come across it, but this thing yesterday needed addressing immediately.

Please please don’t let this ruin things. We all make mistakes, because we are human, and nobody died!

We're all human and we all make mistakes.
All you can do is apologise appropriately and try and learn from it. As has already been suggested, is there something you can do to prevent the same mistake happening again?

Also please bear in mind that “being offended” is something of a hobby with certain people who have such small, petty minds and such boring, insignificant existences that they spend all their time finding offence where there is none and complaining about it as loudly and persistently as possible.

All you can do is try to rise above such behaviour - do the right thing and try not to let it get you down.
Best wishes

I feel for you. When I was working, I was cajoled (bullied) into taking notes of office meetings by manager This was not part of my job but she wore me down.

I found it very stressful and the manager would scribble all over my typed notes, altering a lot of what I'd recorded. I hated it.

I had to list attendees at the start of the notes. On one occasion I missed the name of one attendee off in error. She was someone I knew well and socialised with. On receipt of her copy she came to my desk and pointed out my error. I apologised profusely, explaining how stressful I found it. She said I had missed her off deliberately as she was of a different culture to the rest of the attendees. She implied that she could report me. I was mortified. These things, which seem small to some, can get very serious in the workplace.