Black Dog 22

EllieAnne Glad you’ve come in despite the long post and changing minds

Wave to Zakouma

Doodle, it’s a wise decision not to rush but I’m very glad it’s signalled a procedure for you fairly soon.

Glad to hear of the getting out nadateturbe and that it had laughs despite worries.

So sorry DH is so poorly, Sweetpeasue. Yes, go for help if it’s bad.

Same old story here.

Quiet in here today….so kind warm thoughts to all BD’s not in today or not up to posting

Tossing and turning for a lot of the night, thinking about the depresssion support group I attend.
Really you couldn't make it up! The irony.
Not entirely sure its helping me.

Hope everybody has an OK day.

Wyllow3 Glad you got out for a walk the other day. Sorry yesterday wasn't so good. Hope today might be better for you. Are you still in touch with your sister?

Doodle I hope you'll get an appointment soon. This w/e was a bit short notice. You'll be ready when they ring again. Yes, Son2's 1st Father's day . His step-daughter always sends him a card (her choice), though. She sang & played guitar on stage at a British Legion club last night, so we babysat Chubby Chops. We're going out with them for lunch today. Son1 will be here tomorrow. I expect your sons will see you this weekend.

nadateturbe The catch-up with your sisters must have been lovely. I bet you all had a lot to talk about.

EllieAnne It's frustrating to type a lot then lose it. You can say what you feel on here. I hope you're able to get out this w/e. Will you see any family?

SweetpeaSue If your husband seems worse, then he should seek help over the w/e. He can't keep on as he is.

zakouma66 You mean you support people who have got depression? Is it a face-to-face or telephone thing?

I had the worst pain yesterday, the worst so far. I ended up having to take 6 tablets, which I really don't want to have to do. Babysay Chubby Chops last night whilst her big sister played guitar and sang on stage at a British Legion club. Son and DIL were very proud . Love to ALL BDers x

HVDY, its face to face. A group. But now I am all tangled up in their stuff too.

Doodle wise decision. You can get into the mind set and be ready the next time you get a date for your operation and it gives you time to pack a bag and have plenty of food in the freezer etc. Plus look into your after care before the op. I know it's a lot to think about. But your husband would want you to have the operation and make a full recovery. And he will be looking after you and I know you will believe that . Even though an atheist I know my husband is with me everyday he is forever in my heart and mind.

Go with a positive frame of mind it will help you. Your son's will make sure you don't overdo things once home. I know it will be upsetting going home afterwards and not having your darling husband there and you may feel a bit frightened but that's natural.

After my husband died and the children left I was never frightened living on my own . Even when mom lived with me for 18 months I was still alone as the cancer and dementia killed my mom just her body lived on.

Only time I have ever been frightened was when I came out of hospital when I had jaundice. For once in my life I needed someone 24/7 and there was no one . I never want to feel that again.

Thankfully you have your sons and after care ready sorted. And I know you will fight to recover because of your love for Mr D and you know what he would say to you. It's a lot for you to go through as it's only been a few weeks since Mr D died but he would want you to live your life to the full as best as you can.

zakouma66 is there anything that you could join that had nothing to do with depression? That way you could just be you . I go to sit fit class once a week it's great fun but once our instructor makes sure we are well then we get to work no one talks about over health but have a laugh about life in general and do everything our instructor asks of us . She works us hard but I love it. My craft group is mixed media but we talk about anything and everything. If people are worried about anything we talk about that but it's a very caring group. If anyone wants to learn a craft someone does then others will teach them. It's at our local library . We are loud and rude not for everyone some come once but we are who we are . My local council runs an active ageing exercise.group it's GP referral and it was 12 weeks free plus hot drink and biscuits afterwards . It was great fun. It was sit fit but like my group you sit for some exercises and stand for others holding on to a chair and even do walking ones as well.

You could Google sit fit classes ,there are walking groups if you can do that ,most libraries have various groups that might interest you and local churches do to you don't have to be a Christian to go. But it might help you and the social aspect is very important to your mental and physical health.

The big plus for me is I like routine it's how my life has always had to work. Since having my HPX diagnosis I understand why as others with it do to. So Monday and Thursday I know every week what I am doing . Funny how my week fills up but those 2 days no matter how much pain I am in I have to go and always feel better for going.

Hope I get the name right Sweetpeasue think it was you who saw the urologist who believed you and was nice . So happy for you it's horrible when you aren't believed and don't get help.

Terrible with names today. Hope whoever it was can go to their art group this week. As any art or craft is very good therapy and stops you thinking as you have to concentrate on what you are doing and time flies by doing it.

Wyllow so glad you are getting out . You have come a long way since before Christmas.

Thinking about you all. 🤗

Good advice Whiff. That group isnt helping me. I do attend a couple of keep fit kind of things and have signed up for U3A.

Wyllow I do hope it's been a little better for you today. The story has to change soon. You are often in my thoughts and I will you to keep going and so wish for extra help for you soon.x
Nadateturbe So good you could get out with your sister's yesterday. Hope you've not had to pay too dearly for it today but sure it was well worth it for the company and getting out.
HVDY Do hope your hip pain is a lot better than yesterday. I understand you not wanting to take too much medication , I'm the same, though needs must. It's frightening not knowing how long you will have to suffer before they find out the cause. Hope the Xray is soon . How special for your son and DIL to see their daughter sing on stage. A lovely moment and memory. I'm sure it will give your GD's confidence a boost too.
Whiff Lovely post. Such kind words for Doodle. So true- to be not believed is a frightening thing. I feel quite angry that the GP didn't believe my DH's headache was GCA. In fact he had dug his heels in so hard he had become blind to what was staring him in the face. A patient is helpless and powerless -- I just wish I could have persuaded my DH to go to another GP earlier though there is no F2F appts with anyone else (done rarely at our surgery) and don't do pre-bookable F2F either.
Zakouma66 I'm not sure what type of group it is you're in but I should have started a Steps to Recovery thing last week. There's 8 weekly sessions and I've been concerned that the same thing you are experiencing will happen to myself. I'm just pulling myself on top now after a really bad time but I so easily could get dragged down. Sorry you're not feeling its the support you need. I think there are times when we need to believe in what's we feel to be right for ourselves-- at same time I don't always trust my own inner voice.

Love to all BDs , those not mentioned and hope everyone is ok.

Had to take everything( painkillers) this morning so really doped up when attending routine ECG. which was OK.
Couldn't take out aunt (don't think she was happy) as ECG was in another town plus DH not well enough. We went to buy purple Clematis. He's no better at all. He's calling sec of Rheumatologist (as advised by nurse) to make sure he gets appt in another week , on Monday. Hope it's not recorded mess on other end.

Take care all.
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nadateturbe glad you had the chance to meet up with your sisters and enjoyed yourself. Have you had a quiet day today to recover?
Sweetpeasue your anxiety re your DH is understandable. It’s not right the GP ignored your concerns. Good idea to phone the secretary to make sure your DH gets seen too.
Glad your ECG was ok. Hope you both have a restful night.
Wyllow I couldn’t face the rush of getting ready for Monday. Besides which I have my pacemaker check Monday too. I will get my bag ready though for next time. Hope you have a better weekend.
zakouma I’m sorry the group isn’t helping you. Maybe you’re better off doing something else. Group therapy isn’t for everyone.
HVDY sorry to hear about the awful pain. Is it easier if you rest a lot? Proud mum and stepdad moment, I always love watching anything the children/granchildren did.
Have a good time with your family tomorrow. Yes im going to dinner with one of our sons.
Whiff thank you for being so kind. I am more nervous about my health now. Before I was always worried about DH.
When I’ve had my op I want to find a sit fit class to go to as well. Wish there was a craft group like yours near me. Sounds fun.x
Ellie Anne Scaredycat and Candy hope you have a good weekend.

Doodle Glad you will be with one of your sons for dinner tomorrow. I hope you find a sit fit class to go to after your op. I think I would like to do some sort of keep fit thing so might look around . Fills me with dread and anxiety to just walk in to somewhere though. Much easier to go with someone or know someone there. Hope you sleep OK too Doodle.much love. X

Just saying hello and hoping everyone's day hasn't been too bad.
Hopefully will be able to chat tomorrow. xx

I’m not really in touch with anyone atm, HVDY, and others, I get whatapps from DS.

Hard to find a point in life I’m afraid which I just cant’ break out of. Very glad to have online contacts indeed can distract.

I’ve been like this before for long episodes btw except not as bad. Most days long and alone. Things aren’t really changing yet, maybe it will when extra hep finally gets organised.

I hope you find yourself able to make the right decision for you about the group, Zakouma difficult to limit others effect on you and so on.

I was so sorry to read about the levels of pain you had HVDY. Lovely to read of chubby chops and the singing.

Despite all your difficulties, Whiff, you have built a life that works for you, well done you.

Sounds like DH really needs help quickly Sweetpeasue and hope it’s not messed up.

You had to put DH first Doodle maybe that meant you put aside thoughts that are now coming up. Koko…for now…..everything still very raw for you.

Wave for you nadateturbe

And warm bedtime thoughts all BD’s

That " whats the point" thing is a horrible feeling. Its not an unreasonable question to be fair.
One foot in front of the other is sometimes the way to go.

zakouma66 Those type of groups don't suit everyone. I hope you find something more suitable.

Whiff You have made a good life for yourself. You sound like an outgoing person, able to mix with other people easily.

SweetpeaSue My hip pain is a damned nuisance and is really bad now. It's making me miserable. I'm sorry you have such a lot of pain, so often. You're naturally worried about your husband, too. I hope he manages to get through to the Rheumatologist's secretary and can get some help.

Doodle This pain is there even when I'm doing nothing at all, but as soon as I start moving around, it increases. The left hip feels like a trapped nerve, although I haven't had any diagnosis. I hope you enjoy a nice lunch with your son today. You helped your husband with all his health problems and medical appointments, but time to look after yourself now. I hope you get your operation soon.

Wyllow3 I hope you get the extra help soon. Koko (something you tell us), take each day at a time, and do what you can, when you can.

nadateturbe, Candy6, ScaredyCat, *EllieAnne and ALL BDers - hope the day is as good as it can be for you x

Wyllow I understand the what’s the point feeling. I am fighting against it. It’s hard. I do hope you lift out of this low period soon and something happens or comes along that helps you.
Sweetpeasue I’m not one who enjoys going in places on my own either. Far too shy and lacking in confidence,
HVDY sorry about your pain. It’s easy to get miserable when you are in pain. I’m really sorry but my mind is complete fog at the moment. Have you been seen by anyone or waiting for treatment for your hip?
nadateturbe Whiff Scaredycat Ellie Anne Candy hope you all have as good a day as possible.
Take care all x

zakouma sorry I missed you off the list, not intentional. Yes we just have to keep going don’t we.

Doodle I saw a GP 2 weeks ago, she said she'd refer me for an x-ray and physio, but I haven't heard about either yet. It's no wonder your mind is a fog - you are grieving, you've got your health to think about, and yet you still post here and care about us all. We all appreciate it, and all admire you, but please take care of yourself as well. x

Hello lovely friends.
We,ve just got back from my Sisters so I,ve caught up now. I,m sorry I only posted once when I was away but we had such a lot to catch up on and and get in all the family visits. I am worried about her and think she may be suffering from PTSD after her last few terrible years. My Doc told me when I nearly died that it often happens. She is the dearest soul and the most selfless person I know. Wish I lived nearer so I could help with the ongoing family problems.
I will be back tomorrow so I can post properly again but we are now going to my DD for Pizza and Footie. I,m shattered but these times are too precious to miss.
Take care all, sending much love to every one of youxx

Evening all, I’ve just caught up but sorry I can’t post individually this evening I’ve got a bad headache and need to go to bed. It’s nothing compared to what a lot of you are going through but I need to rest. I’m sure I’ll be fine tomorrow. Had it most of the day and can’t shake it off. Love to all who are in pain physically, emotionally and mentally. Hope all have the best night possible xxxx

Hello everyone. I have read all your posts, but energy still limited. In bed most of yesterday, but had a lovely walk along the seafront today. And made biscuits. Then fell asleep before teatime! So unlike me but it was lovely. I wish I could nap more.
Sorry about your pain HVDY and Sweetpeasue xx. Candy I find a cold cloth on my forehead helps headache.
Love to Zakouma66 Scaredycat Whiff Wyllow3 EllieAnne and anyone else reading.
Thinking of you Doodle xx
Hoping you all have a peaceful night.xx
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Night night dear BD's xx

ScaredyCat Sorry to hear about your sister. I was told I had that (after my stroke etc) and was offered "talking therapy", which I didn't find useful. Some counselling might help your sister, though, or perhaps antidepressants. Hope you enjoyed the football and pizza at your daughter's.

Candy6 Hope your headache went. Could it be to do with a change in the weather?

nadateturbe How lovely to be able to walk by the sea. Hope you have a good day today.

SweetpeaSue How are you? Your husband?
Doodle What did you have for lunch yesterday? We only went to Wetherspoons (why are the toilets always so far away? ).

I sent an online triage form to the surgery at 8, just had a call from the GP, a different one from the other week. She's prescribing Pregabalin, made me an appointment with a Physiotherapist at the GP surgery this afternoon, and gave me a number to ring to make an X-ray appointment (the other GP was meant to have done that but "forgot").

Hope ALL BDers have a decent day x

Wyllow Glad the online contacts help -just hope you get more actual F2F help with an extra worker. I'm pleased you still have wattsapps with your son and I'm sure he also appreciates that too. He will want to know how you are -you are cared about. Sending love .
Doodle Considering your shyness you are doing so well to keep yourself going and joining the art class. You really are an amazing lady. Do hope you get your appt soon. HVDY is right you are so caring and you need to look after yourself now.
Nadateturbe Your walk by the sea must have been so lovely. Think we appreciate things much more when we can't do them so often. Making biscuits too - you had a good day. Hope you're OK today and worries about your son have been less.
Scaredycat Worries about family are so wearying and I can see from other GN forums too, how much it affects our own MH. So many of us here affected and I know how close you are to your sister, especially from what you've been through together. So natural for you to be concerned and I hope the pizza with your DD helped take your mind from worries.

HVDY Oh the frustration with Dr's- you've been waiting 2 weeks for that x-ray. Do hope the Pregabalin helps with the pain. I know it came on fairly quickly after you'd painted the fence and done some jumps in aqua-aerobics so sounds like cpuld be a nerve or ligament been affected but I just hope it goes away as quickly as it came. It's awful to be in so much pain like that.
DH rang Rheumatologist secretary , she was v nice . After looking through his records said there was def some mistake made somewhere when his appt had been put back to Jan 25 . He told her he was meant to be seen within 2 weeks from last Mon, she was apologetic but he can't be seen until 2nd July. She understood the ramifications of GCA and was going to inform Rheumatologist of his ongoing pain to see if he could be seen earlier.
I feel so low. Apparently risks of going blind or ongoing damage to Aorta isn't enough to be seen straight away these days. Just stunned and it's so difficult to watch him with headache and constant tiredness. Got him on Aspirin-all I can do.

Planted Sweet peas today. Hope slugs don't fancy them.
Love to all not mentioned. I think of you too.

Candy - hope your headache has cleared now and you were able to have a good rest.
Nadateturbe- So good to read of your busy day yesterday.
Do you live by the sea? I would love that.
Biscuits and a nap- you must have been so pleased and happy to do things you enjoy.
HVDY- yes I think my SIs might benefit from ADs - she does take a lot of meds because of her cancer so don’t know how they would mix. It’s mainly her family worries some of which will never improve unfortunately.
I,m sorry you are in so much pain. I think physio before the XRay is not advisable or maybe I have misunderstood. What sort of a Doctor,” forgets” you couldn’t make it up!
Thank you we enjoyed the football even though England games are always so stressful 😩 we are a family of football fans. Do your boys like Football?
SweetPeaSue- poor DH what a never ending worry for you.
There never seems to be any sincere apologies or urgency for all the let downs you both experience.
SweetPeas for a SweetPea! What a lovely smell they have - I think your garden must be lovely.
It’s all out war against slugs and snails isn’t it.
Wyllow- Glad you keep in touch with your Son via WhatsApp- me too.
So hope you soon get the extra help - you are really making such an effort but some extra support is what you need. You are another brave lady.
My Sister lives in the High Peak and I thought of you when we drove past Mam Tor . I know you love that area.
Zakouma- maybe a group that centres around depression keeps it too much in the fore ground for you. A totally different group may be bettter for you when you could focus on other things . U3 A is brilliant as there are so many interest groups available. I belong to a photography group and it’s really fun. No technical stuff just taking photos of different subjects each month.
Whiff - your life experiences enable you to always find kind and wise advice and encouragement. I understand your love of routine- it gives structure to your week. Glad you’re with us.
Doodle- thinking of you and hoping the pace maker check has gone well today. Then you can get your bag packed and try and build up your strength a bit for when you get the call.
Take care of your dear self.
EllieAnne- hope the weekend wasn’t too difficult for you.

Feeling exhausted today - overdone it again ! You’d think I,d learn but it’s wanting to make the most of the good days isn’t it.
Sending love to all- those mentioned here and all the other lovely ladies who pop in. Xx