Depressed and in need of advice and understanding.

You have taken the first step so well done, the pills will take a while to work but please keep taking them.
Post on GN often, there are people on here who will talk to you and help.

Yes. I could have written your post. I hope you get help.

There’s always someone here to listen hairspray. You’ve done nothing wrong, you have an illness that squashes people. Please persevere with the medication, talk to us, remember the Samaritans will always listen, it doesn’t matter if you’ve called them before. Please remember you’re worth support and this is not your fault. Hope there is a tunnel with light very soon. .

You are not alone with this illness it can hit anyone anytime. I know from experience you will start to feel an improvement it will take time. But suddenly you will realise you are feeling better and healthier.

In the mean time take yourself out for walks if you are physically able. If you can potter about in a garden you will be surprised how it improves your mental health.

Everything seems bleak but it's not because your sought out help well done for that! When you talk to family or friends ask them how they are take the attention away from you.

Keep in touch here there is always someone to talk too. Don't be alone with your thoughts share them and take care x

You didn’t ask to be like this. It just happened and you really don’t need people telling you to pull yourself together as if you were a pair of curtains. Just be patient and let the pills kick in and talk to folks on here. Being outdoors walking, gardening or pottering is very therapeutic as has been suggested if you feel able to. Just do what you can until your joie de vivre returns. Big hug.

Hi Hairspray100,
Have you thought about on-line counselling?
I've use Betterhelp, you can just sign up for a month,
see how you get on & change therapists if you need to.
You can read the therapists profiles & find one that you click with.
It is on-line so usually a video-call, so not in person, but
I found it great just to be able to talk to someone outside
of family & friends & you can message them too in-between appointments.
Also, there's no wait time & you're linked up with a therapist fairly quickly.
I hope you feel start to feel a bit brighter soon. 💐

Life gives you lemons and we have to make lemonade

I have learned to analyze what is under my control and I can do something about it

Could I recommend a book for you to read ? Curse of the Strong by Dr Tim Cantopher a consultant psychiatrist. I found it very helpful when I had bad depression years ago. A small book which explains the workings of the brain and how if we ignore the stresses in life the brain short fuses. A chemical imbalance which results in the debilitating symptoms of depression. Strong people who constantly push forwards without considering their own emotional needs are at more risk. Hence the title curse of the strong.
Hope it may help. Dip in and out of it over time. Take care.

Good morning, I have read all of your replies with gratitude. Jaffacake, I am going to order the book today. I have just read a sample and like the fact that it is short chapters. Thanks for mentioning it.
Thank you all for the advice given. I will look up the online counselling.
Kate1949.
I hope that you are feeling better.

Hithere

Life gives you lemons and we have to make lemonade

I have learned to analyze what is under my control and I can do something about it

You are fortunate. Not many people can do what you do.

* Hairspray100*, I notice you said you felt ‘weak’, so please don’t try to downplay the way you are feeling to your doctor. As others have said, the Sertraline will take a wee while to work properly, so I hope the fact that you’ve begun treatment for your illness will help you now.
Again, as others have said, doing things ( even simple things) which you enjoy can be worth the effort, and lift your mood.

I was looking at a paperback in Sainsbury’s the other day. It’s called Just One Thing by Dr Michael Mosley. It’s about doing little things to improve your life for good health and well being.
I have decided to buy it and it’s available on Amazon too it might be worthwhile. I think anything that can spur you on to improve your health is worth a try.

I want to send you happy thoughts today. And well done to you for taking your medication. Today is day 2 of the new you! Well done.

I haven't had depression (and obviously I'm grateful for that) but do feel I can relate to not being in control of my life and the desperate fear of medication.
I have been prescribed drugs for a physical condition that I have been "unable" to take. It's not fear exactly but the feeling of no longer just functioning properly... as I always have done.
It was totally overwhelming, made me feel sick overshadowed my day and irrationally left me in a state of anxiety every time I opened the packet!

After struggling and stressing for weeks, initially weeping before I took them, I realise now that by taking them this is a way of continuing to be "me" rather than a person who is very ill and not functioning.

Then... one day last week, I actually couldn't remember if I took a dose or not! I checked and saw that I had done as the "day" was missing on my push-out packet!
I could not have believed this would ever happen and so I'm sure it will happen to you in due course.

I think, as happened to me, eventually you will feel fine to swallow your medication.

I realised, last week, that acceptance of drugs in your system does come. And does^ help you function.

You are actually taking control of your own recovery. Not relinquishing anything. 👍

Thank you all , I appreciate all of your advice and kindness.

NotSpaghetti
That is exactly what I was like with the medication. I kept getting the packet out, putting it back, trembling and stressing.
I carried that on for days, fearful of what I was starting. As if giving in to the medication was accepting that I wasn’t well and I didn’t want to do that.
Now I have to accept that I’m not right at the moment. I don’t feel like myself. Something has changed and I was scared of that dark feeling getting worse. I’ve taken the second one this morning.
I hope that yours have helped your condition.

I’m more than grateful for the anti-depressants and other medications which have enabled me to function normally for many years. Once anti-depressants kick in they lift the black cloud.

You touched on your husband's ill health. This could have more of an effect on your mental health than you realise. Recently my strong, reliable husband was taken very ill. I was shaken by the thought that I could lose him. I still feel quite weak and tired and am sure that is what has caused it.

Just to add, as others have said, it's not your fault that you feel like this. We all react differently to troubles. Last straws can break the camel's back so to speak. It's all very well for other people to tell you how you should be feeling. Good luck to you.

Thank you all once again.
I recognise your names from dipping in and out of Gransnet over the past few years. Always such level headed advice.
My husbands health has had an impact. It’s been one thing after another since January. Eye problems, scheduled surgery which had to be halted as a heart problem was found, now further problems associated. He has always been strong as n ox. He is a person who takes things in his stride but I am not I’m afraid.
Just when I needed to be at my fittest I have developed a condition that is slowing me down. It’s affecting my hands.
The straw and the camels back is a good way of describing it all.
Jaffacake, I have ordered the book that you mentioned.
Thank you all again. I appreciate this very much.

Daddima

I don't think I am fortunate - I see it as survival of the fittest

I grew up with a mother who would thrive in victimhood at what life threw at her

Instead of still appreciating what other good things she still had and how lucky she was in other aspects, she would ruin life for her kids and everybody around her

I refuse to ruin my family's life for something I can change

Hithere sometimes people can’t help themselves. Believing myself to be a strong person it was a shock to suddenly have a panic attack which I’d never experienced before, just before our flight took off. Dh had to hold me back or I would have got off so strong was the compulsion which I had no control over. It was caused by claustrophobia and I cannot now go in small lifts.

This made me appreciate how you don’t always have control and to emphasise with conditions such as that suffered by Hairspray. These are medical conditions. A dear friend had severe anxiety so great that she could not function and people thought she had dementia. With medical intervention she got better and back to normal.

Well said Avalon. Nobody asks for depression/anxiety. I used to be in the 'pull yourself together' brigade until it hit me. It is hell.

I was trying to find the right words to explain.
This has hit me out of the blue and I am usually chatty and friendly. Now I don’t want to engage with anyone or have any interest in their lives. This is not out of choice.
This is like a big black cloud that hangs over you. The dread of starting each day is immense and this is not what I wish for believe me.

It does sound as though your GP has a real understanding of the situation and is taking all the right steps to get you back on track.

Unfortunately there are some people who do not grasp the nature of depression and anxiety and that adds an extra burden to an already unpleasant illness. There is no way you can simply "pull yourself together" because the nature of the illness is such that you lose motivation, as those bits of the brain have shut down a bit and need a boost - which is what the sertraline will do for you.

The problem runs through both sides of my family - I take a small maintenance dose of anti-depressant, and one of my DDs has been on one for many years, with brilliant effect - she is able to enjoy her life now, much to my delight.

Having this illness is nothing to be ashamed of - you have no more chosen this than you might have chosen to break a leg!

Is it worth looking up the details of depression and how it impacts on people's lives and sending your family those details so that they can understand what is going on?

I am sending you lots of good wishes and encouragement - you will get better. Just hang on in there.

Thank you very much for that Luckkygirl13.
People on here are so understanding and seem to be aware of the illness.
I have taken all of your suggestions and will keep going with the medication.
Thanks again

I am also sorry to hear that so many people seem to have experienced this, however I am so pleased that you all seem to have dealt with it and are managing it.