Coping with a knee operation

Have you told your children and stepchildren? I am sure one of them will offer to come and stay with you for a few days after your op. It’s not just practical help you will need but company too. My friend got her knee replacement 2 years ago when she was 67 but her partner was quite a good help. She has no children and no family at all.

sat means say

Bankhurst

I’m pleased to hear that people on their own have managed after knee surgery and I thank those who have made helpful, practical suggestions.
However, I found one response scornful, and another suggested I ‘should not’ have cancelled. The orthopaedic surgeon agreed with my decision as he also felt that my mental health was an issue. The unexpected death of my husband after 25 years of very happy marriage knocked me sideways in a way I could not have imagined. Previously I was a strong person. Now I find it hard to cope with adversity. I am having to get used to being on my own as we were a good partnership and the operation makes me think of how different it would have been if he were still here. That may be a useless thought but it is intrusive.
Don’t underestimate the power of grief - it might be you one day.

Oh dear.

I'd sat death of my 60 year marriage partner is my worst fear.

I really hope you re-book.

I promise recovery is not bad, the result is fantastic - if one does proper after physio. I'm back skiing coming up on 80 years old.

Bankhurst you are so right we should never underestimate the power of grief. It is early days for you, there is no right and wrong way to deal with grief only your way. All I can say is take care of yourself and be kind to yourself

I’m pleased to hear that people on their own have managed after knee surgery and I thank those who have made helpful, practical suggestions.
However, I found one response scornful, and another suggested I ‘should not’ have cancelled. The orthopaedic surgeon agreed with my decision as he also felt that my mental health was an issue. The unexpected death of my husband after 25 years of very happy marriage knocked me sideways in a way I could not have imagined. Previously I was a strong person. Now I find it hard to cope with adversity. I am having to get used to being on my own as we were a good partnership and the operation makes me think of how different it would have been if he were still here. That may be a useless thought but it is intrusive.
Don’t underestimate the power of grief - it might be you one day.

So sorry about the loss of your husband. I’m sure the Hospital will make some arrangements for you post-op. It’s not all bad. Take a leaf out of Mizuna’s book. She has coped very well. Don’t worry too much about it. It’s going to be fine.

I'm so sorry about your loss. I live alone and have had one knee and both hips replaced without anyone staying with me, and with just a lift home after each op which that can be arranged with volunteer drivers. I ordered Parsley Box meals and froze milk beforehand. Otherwise I had groceries delivered.

I live on my own and have had both knees replaced over the years. It was not easy but I did online shopping before and had a stock of microwavable meals to make life easier for me.

I really feel you should not have cancelled the surgery because your knee is not going to improve without surgery.

The hospital may be able to provide transport, please ask.

We travelled almost the length of the country to stay with my friend when she had her second hip done, and took her to appointments. Do you have any friends who aren't local who might stay with you for a few days?

Don't be afraid to ask in your village for help. It may be that there are people who are willing, especially if you don't rely on just one. A general request that doesn't put anyone on the spot might bring some surprising results. If it doesn't, you won't have upset anyone with unreasonable expectations.

I posted too soon I also have another friend 80 again living alone had her knee done recently and is managing on her home with hospital help
You will find lots of support

My friend recently broke her hip and has had a new one when she came out of hospital they ( NHS) arranged all the equipment she would need to help her round the house perching stools, shower stool, step, risers for chairs, commode, Walker etc act and 6 weeks of free carers three times a day (she has actually only needed morning carers to help her shower she lives alone she is 86 and not on any benefits A key safe was put in and the equipment taken to her house before she was released from hospital
I think this is a blooming wonderful service
I m sure you will have abundance help

So sorry to hear that you lost your Husband. You have started to get involved in village life and to meet people which is a good thing. Do speak to some of your fellow villagers who may be able to point you in the right direction for support. Please don't sit there worrying it is important that you ask for help and you may be surprised at what people can offer. Also please do not postpone your operation but see if there is hospital transport available. Ask your Consultant what you will be like post op and what activities you can and can't do. Do discuss your concerns with him/her so that you can be as informed and prepared as possible. All good wishes.

Please have a look at our long running hip and knee thread where you will get a lot of helpful advice, tips snd support .
It’s rarely on the Active list but that is another story, so look at Forums under health and you will find us. A number of us are on their own and coped, and you will too. You really will.

Honestly? Help is not as needed as you might think.

Of course my husband drove me home from hospital, but a taxi would have been fine. I had a walker that I used for 3 days after. After that I was able to do everything needed very slowly.

I couldn't drive for 6 weeks either, but I was told to walk as soon as I was steady, so I walked helping my recovery. If my husband hadn't driven me I suppose a taxi would've been a good alternative.

I cooked and froze, in advance. The house got a bit muckier over a couple of weeks, however apart from my inability to do my daily hoover, our cleaner managed - without my hoovering!

Life is great - I have a knee that works properly, please re-schedule.

I am so sorry to hear about your husband, and you are still in the early stages of grief. But you need your op or you will be even more immobile. If you have helpful aquaintances, ask them about things like the Good Neighbour scheme which will get you too and from hospital appointments and physio. Contact the local church, they will have a pastoral team who can visit and get you to and from lunch clubs etc.

Could one of your children not take time off and join you for three days post op, it is not long after all. You can get your shopping delivered online, ask for help if you don't know how to do this. But please do rebook your surgery, the waiting lists are so long! Good luck