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Breast cancer and family

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gigi1958 Sun 01-Jan-23 00:18:01

So I was diagnosied with Stage 1 bresat cnacer in November. I have 2 sisters, we all live in the same town and yet my one sister has this way of getting under my skin about my diagnosis. She has shown -0- support and she wants to gloss over it and in some ways pretend it's not happening. Great example she subsitute taught for her friend who has breast cancer for 4 months and she would not take a day off to accompany me to an appointment out of town. I also invited her to join my other sister and me for breakfast after my MRI on Tuesday and she declined. Said to call her maybe she would come for coffee, really????
I wonder can she just not deal wiht it (I hope) or worse is she just a mean cold insensitive sister? I really don't even know how to respond to her emails because I'm usually so frazzled by them and I really don't need to deal with her issues right now. Help!!!!

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Mandrake Sun 01-Jan-23 05:57:40

Maybe a bit of both? She might not be able to deal with it, she might be scared, but she shouldn't be unloading issues on you right now. Maybe you need to tell her that with your health journey you can't handle dealing with her issues right now? Not in those words.

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gigi1958 Sun 01-Jan-23 14:45:49

Mandrake, I think you have nailed it but the hard part is trying to find a way to tell her without making her angry or hurt. I have written so many draft emails but unable to send any of them. And ultimately I feel quite hurt by her behavior it just comes off as ice queenesque. Thankfully my other sister who is normally distant has come to my rescue, perhaps I should be geatful for that.

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JaneJudge Sun 01-Jan-23 14:51:03

I know you are the one that is ill but it does sound like she is finding it difficult to deal with. You are her sister and she loves you and she may have felt overwhelmed with her friend being ill and is now anticipating this happening to you flowers I would send her an email telling her you need her sistership and just open up lines of communication with her.

I'm sorry it is so upsetting for you on top of what you are already having to cope with flowers

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gigi1958 Wed 04-Jan-23 14:55:44

Yesterday I had my MRI and was scared to death, got my results and they were better than expcted. And I was so happy to share my results with the people who supported me I didnt want to tell my sister. But I did and I mentioned to her that I was not comfortable with her insensitive "positivity" at all. I think she got the messag, she actually said in an email before my test to "have fun". I just need to make sure I don't take it personally, she has her own deamons and I need to let it go.

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