Black Dog 10

joce what frightening experience for you. So glad none of your were hurt.
Ellie Anne I am another who eats too much. Then I regret it. I am trying to cut down but it’s difficult. I love my food.
Winter is a bad time for many. Do you drive? Is there a chance you could join some group or club to socialise with others. I have head Tai Chi (not sure that’s how you spell it) can be good for calming anxiety.
GSM a fit fitter ?. I too hope your blinds get sorted soon Annie I wish all of us from the BDG could come to you and knock some heads together. Is someone coming to fix your sky box? If you get your new iPad can you pick up the missing programmes on catch up?
You must be so frustrated. I am so angry on your behalf. Wish I could put a rocket up the people who are supposed to be helping you. Can’t help really just to send you a big cwtch and much love x
Scaredycat well done. Good for you. However scared you were you did it. That is a first step. You had fears but for the sake of others you overcame them and went to the wedding.
That is how I started to overcome my claustrophobia. One step. Yes it’s scary but you can do it.
Is it possible for you and your DH to book a hotel stay near your step children so you can visit them again? You made a big step. Don’t forget that.
Take care all and sleep well x

Hi gang
Just got back from a weekend away at a family Wedding. I can’t tell you how scared I was at the prospect of being with so many people indoors again. But I so wanted to see my 3 step children and families and it was worth it to see how happy DH was to see them all together - a rare occasion. Can’t imagine ever losing that fear now. Staying in a hotel was less scary than I thought though.
Annie - when I got back and read your posts I felt so sorry you had been feeling sad.It must have been very hard for you . Your son-in-law obviously loves you and feels able to talk to you about his life. I have been on the other end. I remember taking my DH to meet my late husbands mother for the first time it must have been so difficult for her but she made him feel welcome bless her.
That delivery man was telling porkies - I hate it when they say that and you know you were there all the time.
I too wish I could pop round to visit you and try to help in some way. I don’t understand how the Enablement team can be so uncaring. You have tried so hard for so long to sort yourself out. Sending you a big hug
BlueSky- so sorry you are not well but hopefully it will not be too debilitating for you both. Take care.
Joce- oh my goodness what a fright that must have been. It must have turned your legs to jelly. So glad you,re all ok
EllieAnne- sorry you don’t feel so good. Has the weather put you off walking? Don’t worry about eating too much we all do that sometimes. Once you start walking again you,ll be fine. Yes hate the darkness creeping up so quickly and then having to shut the curtains earlier.
Doodle,Nonnie,GSM and all the gang wishing you a pleasant eveningx

Hi all x

BlueSky get well soon x

GSM thank you , the blind company hasn’t anyone else to fit
the blinds x

Thank you all for your kind words. It was a difficult week, sky box not working so lost all I have recorded, will never know who won Mastermind or see the Jazz programme ?.

Ordered new iPad, delivery chap said ‘no one was home to receive delivery ?, I haven’t left bungalow for nearly 4 years.

Head of the Enablement Team has refused request from Physiotherapy dept to help me get use to wheelchair to get to
bed.

New doors will not be fitted for several months.

I am ok, just at times I wish I could say to someone- ‘you sort it
out’. Daft really, my husband been dead 45 years. I am certainly
use to sorting things out.

Morning all.
Annie, I do hope you’re feeling a bit better today. The start of another week, which I hope will be better than the last one was. Will the blinds company send you a fit fitter?!

Joce I hope you got his number and reported him. How scary.
Annie I wish I had the words to comfort you but am thinking of you and hoping and praying that your circumstances will improve soon. It’s just one thing after another for you. I’m not feeling great but am ok. Haven’t managed a decent walk since Thursday and have eaten too much. It’s getting dark much earlier now and I dread the winter coming. Good night everyone.

Me and my daughter took baby for a walk yesterday only down the road to doctors to pick up a prescription, all of a sudden a car mounted the cerb , just before he hit us he turned the steering wheel .. he was texting on the phone I have never been so upset he was inches away from the pram and just carried on has if nothing had happened still texting on the phone..

Annie I’m so sorry you are low..
I would love to come and hold your hand and just talk or not which ever you felt comfortable doing, sometimes words are not what we want to hear... sometimes a bit of company quiet or not is all we need...love hugs and prayers to you Annie... xx

Annie I’m sorry you are feeling low. I can’t believe yet another thing goes wrong with you getting some help. Now the blinds! Nice of your son-in-law to try and help. I too think he would never mean to hurt you.
GSM what a lovely and caring post to Annie. Nice sentiment.
Nonnie that is an interesting quote and I understand what you mean. Hope you are getting on ok.
Bluesky oh dear. I hope you are both feeling ok. Hopefully with you both being jabbed it should pass off without any bad side effects. Do hope you both improve soon.

Hi all. Well myself and DH have tested positive for Covid! I’m quite surprised as we have both been double jabbed, don’t mix, occasional quick visit to shops with mask and hand sanitising. At the moment it’s just an annoying cough, plus feeling a bit fluey, DH started coughing first and I followed the day after. So will be self isolating for 10 days. Must be the very infectious Delta variant. Not surprising really when everything has reopened with no distancing masks etc.

That’s a lovely story Nonnie. I too believe you go to a better place and I really look forward to meeting so many loved ones then. Not too soon though.

I’m so very sorry you’re feeling so down today Annie. Understandably so, and no need to apologise. Though I’m sure, being the loving and generous lady you are, you’re genuinely happy your son in law feels able to move forward, nevertheless it must hurt you deeply that your dear daughter isn’t the one beside him. What may seem to others the smallest chance remark can tear open wounds which never heal. The scar tissue is so thin isn’t it? He wouldn’t have meant to hurt you so. If I were there I couldn’t fix the blinds but I could make you a cup of tea and hold your hand and you could tell me about your lovely daughter, the person she was before she became so terribly ill, and you would smile at the happy things you could tell me about. I do hope you will find some bright moments today. I’m thinking of you with love,

Sorry you are so down today Annie. I read something last night in a book by Rabbi Lionel Blue, can't copy, because I don't know how so here goes with the typing:

A rabbinic story has helped me: there is a strange text which says 'the day of one's death is better than the day of one's birth'. The rabbis asked 'How could this be?' And they said: 'At a birth, as the baby is born everybody thinks it is a wonderful thing, a matter or rejoicing. Everybody except one: the baby. The baby, which comes from the security of its mother's womb, to the cold world outside, has not experienced is as a birth. It has experienced it as a death. When we come to our death, it is the same situation but in reverse. The mourners see the world that the dead person is leaving and see it as a death, but the person who is dying may well be seeing the world he or she is going into and may experience it as a birth, Once again, the difference is your point of view.

Of course the above doesn't help you when you miss her so much (I should know!) but it does remind me that they are in a better place and gives me a little comfort.

Your poem reminds us all to never give up, life has changed for me and can for everyone, let's just pray it changes for the better.

Hope you all have a good weekend.

Hi all x

After a very difficult week I got myself together yesterday. This
morning ?

Been waiting 5 weeks for window blinds, still sleeping on sofa,
was promised they would be fitted within two weeks. They
arrived yesterday, chap who fits them has broken his foot,
son in law came at 8.00 this morning to fit them, no instructions! they are remote controlled.

He then told me he was going to spend weekend with my
grandchildren and taking his lady friend.

I am happy for him but trying not to weep, it should be my
darling daughter going with him but she is dead .

Sorry, am really down today, miserable end to a difficult week.

Hello Annie is soooo good to have you back..???
Yes I agree Doodle very powerful poem.

Hurrah, Annie’s back.?. Lovely to hear from you and with such a mighty poem.
We won’t mention the i**d word, honest ?

Hi all x

How is everyone? I am not going to speak of iPads ?

Death ! Dylan Thomas ‘And Death Shall Have No Dominion’

‘Though lovers are lost,love is not’

This is our poem friends

If you think you are beaten, you are
If you think you dare not, you don't,
If you like to win, but you think you can't
It is almost certain you won't.

If you think you'll lose, you're lost
For out of the world we find,
Success begins with a fellow's will
It's all in the state of mind.

If you think you are outclassed, you are
You've got to think high to rise,
You've got to be sure of yourself before
You can ever win a prize.

Life's battles don't always go
To the stronger or faster man,
But soon or late the man who wins
Is the man WHO THINKS HE CAN!”

Pondering on the death of friends. We all have to do it but only once. Perhaps it is the way people die that matters? Both my friends had slow cancer deaths but DiL's Grandma died recently, she was 91 and had planned the things that would need to be done after her death. I think that was a good death. Unfortunately none of the family could go to the funeral because she lived on an island that is closed due to Covid but it was live streamed on Facebook. DiL came here and had a cry as Grandma had been a big part of her childhood.

We never know when it will happen to us so I do all I can to make great memories for my family who don't seem to realise we won't live forever!

Hope everyone has a peaceful nights sleep ?

Doodle wise words thank you x Good night all x

Bluesky the sad fact is that life goes on and it goes on for us all. One day it will be us missing and I don’t know about you but I would be upset if I thought others had no joy in their lives because of my passing.
Make the most of what we have. Live life for yourself and for those who have passed. There is no disrespect in mourning for others but talking of other things. We each have a quiet place in our hearts and minds where we think of others and miss them.
Sleep well all. I hope Annie is back with us soon. x

Morning all x Nonnie you beat me to it with your post on sad news. I’ve been feeling low for the same reason, I’ve heard of so many real or virtual friends with serious illnesses or that they’ve suffered the loss of a loved one. As you say at a certain age I guess it should be somewhat expected but it’s still so upsetting. When the people are (much) younger than us, then it’s tragic. I know that sadly you and others on here have already had more than you share. It just seems disrespectful to chat about lighthearted matters. Anyway not much we can do. Have a peaceful day x

joce certainly trousers seems straightforward to me. Yes they will be of the elasticated waist type ?
I agree with all you say about Annie I hope she’s able to be back with us soon
Ellie Anne how are you doing? Try not to get too tired as being tired can make our mood lower too. I hope you are ok.
Nonnie I certainly wouldn’t be having a cleaner every week but I thought I might get someone in once or twice a year to do the high bits and the low bits I find it hard to reach.
Keeping going yourself is good though. Doing your gardening etc .
Your mention of sweet peas made me think of my dad. He used to love growing them and we had them all along the fence in the garden when I was growing up.
Good news and sad news. It’s hard isn’t it. Good news for your DS’s friend.
Hope everyone has a peaceful day.

Struggling a bit this morning as I have just heard of the second death of a friend in a week. Suppose we have to get used to it as we get older. Trying to balance that with the news that one of DS's closest friends is finally going to become a father years after his partner had cancer.

Doodle I might try that. Plenty of stuffed toys here.

Not sure about paying for help in the house. We have started to pay for things like exterior painting am planning to get someone to reduce the height of the trees in the back garden. I think I just don't want to give in on the 'use it or lose it' principle. Very difficult decision.

Joce and Doodle making trousers, easy? Phew sounds hard to me.

I can see sweet peas from my window. Our neighbour, who has lived here for over 40 years, has no idea where they came from but they are on both sides of the fence, so pretty.

I hope Annie is ok.
I’ve been very tired but ki stay up late because it’s the only time of day I get the house to myself.