BLACK DOG 8

Morning everyone
Scaredycat Glad you slept better on Sunday night, hope it was the same last night.
BlueSky Good news that it looks like your DH will be getting his op soon. I understand that you’re worried about it but I’m sure that they will have every precaution in place.
Doodle I understand your post now. I’m so bad at knowing exactly what people mean in online messages. I’m getting quite nervous about telephone call with GP tomorrow. What happens if she doesn’t offer a face to face appointment?
Nonnie I’m so sorry to hear that you also have heart wrenching memories like Annie. That’s good that you sorted the knitting pattern out.
Have a good day everyone x

Hi All x

nonnie I did contact Compassionate Friends when you first
spoke of them, they recommended I contact a group for those
bereaved through suicide.

BlueSky it’s natural for you to be worried, it seems so many
feel the same, but things have moved on since the start of the
outbreak, you may be reassured when your husband has the
.pre op .

Chrissy, remember to stick to your main concern when you
speak to your GP.

Doodle yes she wanted me to see the puppy who is the -
cleverest, most beautiful puppy on earth, I receive videos of
Luna walking in the garden, eating dinner, having a nap ? x

lavender hugs , stay strong x

I had a disappointment this morning, started working on my
recovery from Agoraphobia again, contacted a neighbour and
asked if she knew anyone in the Cul de sac who uses a wheelchair in these small bungalows. She contacted a friend who works for Red Cross, they brought a wheelchair, it was one which needed pushing so no use to me.

Something happy to share, sometime ago I was asked if I could find marriage details of a couple married 60 years ago, they don’t have children or siblings, so their friends couldn’t ask anyone.

I don’t know the couple, they live in a small village few miles from me. Found their full details and they have received a
message from the Queen , been told they are thrilled

Hello on a very dull afternoon.
Annie- I so understand your reaction to that call- you must have felt so frightened. It took me years not to feel scared every time the phone rang. It’s such a shame as it should have been a happy moment to share with your GD. Glad you get regular Pupdates!! Luna is a lovely name.
How nice you were able to help those people receive their Queens telegram- what an achievement 60 yrs .
What a shame the wheelchair wasn,t the right sort - maybe they can get you one that is right now. Glad you are persevering with the quest. Take care
Nonnie- I have been practising slobbing today as I had another morning call from A fib which lasted 6 hours so at this rate I should be an expert soon!
Bluesky- hope your DH has his Op soon it will be such a relief for him to be pain free. They will take good care of him.
Chrissy- try not to worry about tomorrow’s GP call.I,m sure if she thinks you need a face to face she will offer one. Don,t forget your list of Questions then you will know you have told her everything about your main concerns.
Doodle,Lavender ,Joce ,Flutterby and all have a peaceful evening and night.x

I really hope you feel better soon sometimes would be nice to just pick phone up and chat.

Hello everyone.
Nanderin that’s a kind thought. ?
Chrissy hope you’re managing to keep your spirits up.
If your GP doesn’t offer a face to face appointment. I suggest you tell her that this problem is causing you considerable anxiety and you want reassurance that there is nothing bad going on. Tell her how you feel Chrissy and don’t hold it back. Don’t give up on the phone call if you are not happy with the outcome. We are still here with you ?
Nonnie I’m sorry your support group isn’t able to meet. The WhatsApp group is a good idea to keep you in touch.
It seems to me, when there is all the time in the world during lockdown, it’s hard to get motivated to do anything.
Annie, Luna sounds lovely and at home already.
Sorry about your disappointment with the wheelchair. Can your GP not find someone who can help you?
What a wonderful surprise for the couple you have been helping. No wonder they are thrilled. Do you do a lot of research for others?
Scaredycat sorry to hear about the Afib playing up again.
6 hours is a long time. Hope it’s worn off now and you have a much better sleep tonight,
lavender hope you are ok.
Sleep well all x

Evening all x Annie yes early or late phone calls always worry me, I’ve even had a couple of middle of the night ones from my far away family and all it was they’d pressed the wrong name! Still I was relieved rather than angry.
Scaredy another AFib episode poor you! A couple of years ago I had episodes of palpitations which I found really upsetting.
Chrissy hope you’ll get a reassuring chat with the GP tomorrow.
Thanks everybody for mentioning my DH, he’s keen to have it done has he’s had disabling bouts of sciatica and the consultant seems to be confident that the op will stop that recurring.
Hope you’ll all have a peaceful night x

Doodle I spoke to a GP today, can’t have physiotherapy or see a physiotherapist.

I said I was going to get a wheelchair, he said - ‘we can’t help
with one of those , do more walking ‘, I explained I was going to buy one, I had already discussed my difficulty walking with him, he was a locum, he didn’t even know where the Cul de sac was so obviously new to the surgery.

He asked what medication I was taking , I assume he wasn’t
looking at my file. So no help there.

Hello everyone. Just calling in to wish everyone a good nights sleep.
Annie sorry the wheelchair was the wrong sort, hope something can be rearranged. Your call to the GP sounds pretty dire, it really beggars belief tbh, it sounds like my surgery. Luna is a lovely name.

I am tired out, I have been painting inside a wardrobe and trying to get some order into the packing. I will sleep tonight hopefully and feel refreshed tomorrow.

Take care everyone, lets all keep together and get through all of this. Love to all xx

Annie that Gp sounds next to useless. Did he say why you can’t have physio or see anyone? How can you do more walking. Don’t give up. Phone the surgery back and ask the receptionist to get a doctor with more knowledge of your problems to contact you. Do you ever have appointments with a specialist for your hands and knees. It seems impossible that no one will help you. I wish we could do more.
Bluesky lavender and all sleep well. x

Morning everyone
Annie Thank you. I have notes ready for talking to the GP. What a shame that you can’t use the wheelchair they brought. What a lovely thing to do finding details of the couple and how thrilled they must have been to get a card from the Queen. My parents received one when they had their 60th anniversary. I’m sorry that you can’t see the physiotherapist. Even if the doctor was a locum he should have had your notes in front of him.l
Scaredycat I’m sorry that you had a long period of A fib yesterday. I have my questions ready.
Doodle Thank you. I will tell her about how this is affecting me mentally. She does know what I’m like so that’s a good thing.
BlueSky It sounds promising that your DH’s op will help with the pain he has.
lavenderzen Sounds like you were busy yesterday. Hope you slept well last night.
I hope everyone else is ok. Have a good day everyone x

Hi all x

Chrissy stay calm and tell your concerns about your leg x

Chrissy good luck with the GP.

Annie how odd? Our group seems to be about 1/3 suicide. Perhaps you could see if they have a local contact? I expect it is only as good as the local people make it. Ours has just set up a local Zoom meeting.

"cleverest, most beautiful puppy on earth," of course! Glad you get the pleasure of the videos.

I have a friend who spends huge amounts of time on family history, did a little for us. I understand it can be all consuming. I feel sure it give you a feeling of achievement which I think we all need.

That locum is rubbish! I agree with Doodle

I agree with Doodle Chrissy. Sometimes we have to push GPs to get them to take us seriously, go for it.

Doodle yesterday our Compassionate Friends local group set up a Zoom meeting for a couple of weeks time. Hope I will get to know a few of the names.

Lavender you sound very busy, a good sort of tiredness. Puts me to shame.

Spoke to DiL about the missed phone call and how it made me feel, she understood completely and if it happens again will continue until I answer. I panic if I get a call like that because our dead son tried to call me on the landline and mobile phone but his battery must have been flat. He was dying at the time but we didn't know, we drove to see him when we couldn't make contact and he was dead.

Finishing my coffee then going out for a walk to take the memories away.

nonnie she is the cleverest, most beautiful puppy on earth
according to my elder granddaughter !

I have been doing family history for 18 years, have learned much, not just names and dates, the history of workhouses,
asylums, the poor law. I chose the name Catherine for my
darling daughter, it was a family name, have found there were
Catherine’s in every generation since the 17th century .

Hi everyone.
Annie- I can’t believe that GP could be so uncaring and ignorant to talk to you like that. Doodle is right you need to ask for a Doctor who knows you and your problems. After all what you are asking for is something so you can help yourself.
It must be really interesting researching your family- all those Catherine’s from the past , are there any paintings or photos at all?
Lavender- I hope you slept well last night you certainly earnt it. Any news of a moving date?
Chrissy- hope your phone appointment went well and you were able to arrange a face to face if it’s needed.
Nonnie- what a terrible time you had when you lost your son there is no wonder that unexplained phone calls trouble you so much. When these awful things happen to us they leave indelible scars in our minds. I hope your walk did you good.
Take care all and have a nice evening

Afternoon all. Rainy, bleak and cold here. I’m glad to be inside where it’s cosy.
Chrissy I’m pleased your GP is someone you know. That should help the conversation.
Nonnie missed phone calls from family always worry us don’t they. That must have been so awful not to have that last conversation with your son. I am so sorry for you and Annie to have such loss in your lives.
Hope your zoom meetings go well. A good idea when people can’t meet in person.
Annie any news on your MT, is she feeling any better?
Your research must be so interesting. What a lovely reason for choosing your daughters name.
I was thinking about your wheelchair problem last night.
You mentioned you were going to buy one. Is it possible to contact a mobility centre near you and have someone come out to visit you (lockdown permitting) to advise on models etc.
Our other grandma went to a mobility shop to buy a buggy and they were most helpful in advising her. Just a thought.
Scaredycat have you had your walk today?
Ours was wet and windy.
Take care Lavender and all x

Scaredcat. We can’t ask for a doctor , have to take who is doing the telephone appointments. Only one photograph of
Catherine’s great aunt, much poverty for the generations before. x

lavender please take care, x

Doodle I live over 40 miles from the nearest mobility shop,
there is a mobility club here but they are not meeting as they
did before March. I am in danger of becoming paranoid, keep
getting blocked with my ideas on how to help myself .
Mini tornado chatted about I’m A Celeb yesterday evening x

Hi everyone
So I did what you all suggested. I had a list of bullet points starting with what was worrying me the most. She said that she had seen the photos that I emailed. She told me that the thing that I call a mole looks like some really long winded medical term and is nothing to worry about. As for the thing under the skin next to it she said that she also thought that was nothing to worry about, she said that, as it stops hurting as soon as I sit down, it could be a varicose vein. My DH has varicose veins and it’s totally different to what I have. She said that, if I want her to look at it, I could see her face to face next Thursday so that’s been booked. The only problem is that it’s 8 days away and is going to feel like 8 weeks to me. Hopefully the time will go quickly. Thanks for your support everyone, it’s much appreciated x

Evening all x Chrissy glad you finally had that chat with the GP and that she’ll see you face to face too. That’s good as she’ll be able to advise/reassure you. In our case we find that with our GPs we don’t have to push in fact they seem even too keen to refer you!
Annie and Nonnie so cruel that you had to suffer such losses.
Anybody feels they can’t even contemplate Christmas this year? I usually love the run up to it, but not this time.
Hope you’ll all have a pleasant evening x

Chrissy it’s all going to be ok. Your GP is going to see you face to face because she knows you are anxious about your health but she isn’t. If she thought it had the potential of being important she would have said we need to look at it. She didn’t say that. She said if you want her to look at it. That means she is only looking at it because she knows you worry and need reassurance. There is nothing wrong Chrissy it’s fine so don’t spend the next 8 days worrying.
Annie when lockdown is over, why not phone the mobility shop and explain your situation and ask what they can do to help. Failing that, ask one of your grandchildren to go to the shop and talk to them. 40 miles is not the end of the world. People with cars can travel that distance. I know as far as you are concerned it could be on the moon because you can’t go out but others can. Maybe now is not the right time with lockdown but soon Annie it is possible.
Big smile on my face. MT is obviously on the mend. Good news.
Bluesky not sure what Christmas will bring, We are all in limbo. Vaccines are coming keep hoping. ?

Doodle The way I looked at it was that she thought it needed to be looked into but, as she knew that by saying that I would go into full panic mode, instead she asked if I wanted her to look at it.

You’re right I know, I need to try and let it go. I would give anything not to be stuck on this merry go round where my thoughts rule my life, it’s exhausting. I’ll try my best to let it go until I see the GP next week.

Chrissy if your GP thought it needed looking at she couldn’t take the risk of saying she would look at it if you wanted her too. That would go against the grain for the GPS I know (many). If she thought it needed looking at and you would go into panic mode you wouldn’t be waiting 8 days for an appointment you’d be in tomorrow. Worry not.

Thank you Doodle

Annie my friend who is absorbed in family history has learned a lot too. I gather that it becomes all consuming which is lovely, especially for you as you are housebound.

Once again I agree with Doodle

Sounds like MT is improving, so pleased.

Thanks scaredycat the walk did me a lot of good. I explored an area I have never been before, lots of post war housing, all beautifully kept, wide roads and no one about, no traffic either.

Chrissy that sounds like a win to me. Yes, 8 days but think how long you have had the problem, so it is unlikely to be anything serious or it would have got loads worse before now. Keep on telling us how you are feeling in the interim.

BlueSky I love Christmas, always make a big thing of it and thoroughly enjoy helping Father Christmas find things for the stockings, everyone gets one. This year he is going to have to see what the supermarket can deliver and only for the UK family

After my walk yesterday I messaged a young person who is on maternity leave, don't know her that well but she has been sending me photos of the baby. I told her I had been walking near her home and she responded asking me to walk in a park with her next week. I think she must be lonely and am now wondering if I should be looking for others to walk with me.

Woke up to heavy rain but now the sky is blue. I will be positive today one way or another. Thanks for the understanding all.

Afternoon everyone
Nonnie I’m glad you sorted things out with your DIL about the phone calls. I’m so sorry to hear about your son trying to phone you and couldn’t get through. No wonder you worry about phone calls at odd hours. I hope yesterday’s walk took away the sad memories. I still do stockings for my 2 daughters (they’re 45 and 42) and my granddaughter. That’s lovely that you’re going to walk with the new mum, I’m sure she will appreciate it. Don’t feel obliged to ask others to join you on your walks, just see how you feel.
Annie It must be very interesting researching family history. I’m sorry that you’re feeling blocked about trying to make your life better, I wish you had someone who could help you. It sounds like your MT is feeling brighter.
BlueSky I know what you mean about not looking forward to Christmas this year. I think it’s because we don’t know what restrictions will be in place so can’t make any plans.

Annie Doodle Nonnie Scaredycat BlueSky lavenderzen Joce (Hope I haven’t forgotten anyone). I want to thank you all for the support you’ve given me, it means such a lot. This is the only place where I can talk truthfully about how I’m feeling. Have a good day everyone x

Good afternoon everyone.
Annie- so good to hear MT is feeling well enough to enjoy I,m a Celeb. It will cheer her up as it is so silly but fun. I hope it has helped you to be able to have a chat with her.
Perhaps as Doodle says one of your grandchildren could help in your quest for a wheelchair - the mobility centre would be a good place to ask.
Doodle- We had a nice walk yesterday thank you and today it was a waterproofs and brolly sort of day but the sun came out when we were nearly home. We have always loved to walk and wondered how many people will keep walking once the pandemic is over.
Bluesky- Christmas will be very different this year but with a vaccine hopefully on the horizon it will be a sacrifice worth making. We,ve quite enjoyed searching for presents on the internet. So many small businesses are making lovely things and so far everything we,ve received has been really well made. Will just miss watching them being opened!
Nonnie- glad you enjoyed your walk . There’s something about being outside in the air and being mindful of your surroundings that lifts your spirits. When my anxiety is bad it helps so much. It will be nice to walk with your young friend and you,ll get to meet the baby too.
Chrissy- I,m sure your GP understands that reassurance is what you need and that is why she offered the appointment. She would have seen you sooner if she was worried. My DH had a problem very recently and after the phone consultation the Doc saw him that afternoon. He had a scan a few days later and blood tests - all is well and medication doing the job. Try not to worry but I do know how hard that is it’s just I have wasted so much time worrying - better to find some nice things to do. Take carex
Love to allx