Did you drink without knowing you were pregnant?

Have any of you met a baby born with alcohol dependency? I understand it’s pretty awful.

Yes, I got pregnant just before Christmas. I am not a heavy drinker and back in 1970 couldn't afford to drink much anyway.

The half a dozen or more drinks I had (and half a cigarette) did not seem to affecct DS particularly. He is a high flying academic, an expert on his subject. He is also a loving husband and father.

The simplest way to deal with this footlingly silly idea, is for women to refuse to answer the question or lie through your teeth.

If a woman does have an alochol problem, enough to cause concern. a good doctor or nurse should be able to tell that by looking and talking to her and then deal with the problem.

I also had Guiness because I was told it was a good source of iron !

I was told to drink Guiness for the iron too Greenfinch!

First sign that I was pregnant was that I completely went off alcohol. Didn’t know why the first time!
I could bear to be in the same room as someone drinking, I seemed to have a heightened sense of smell and alcohol smelt like the next day sour booze smell IYKWIM.

It wasn't frowned upon when I had my first 2 or 3 children and a friend and I found out we were expecting at the same time and celebrated with sherry.

DS2 is 46, 6'2, healthy, brainy but doesn't like sherry.

Nor do I now!

When I was teaching, I taught a number of children with foetal alcohol sydrome.
One child required a kidney transplant, had learning difficulties, was suffering from a severe heart condition and had facial and teeth problems, he eventually died.
Another was profoundly deaf and also had facial problems. Seeing the difficulties those children had to endure, would have been enough to put anyone off drinking alcohol while pregnant.

However, to demonise someone for drinking, when they did not know they were pregnant is wrong.

Couldn’t *

Fernhillnana

Have any of you met a baby born with alcohol dependency? I understand it’s pretty awful.

I haven't (although I have known a lot of women who have had the occasional drink when pregnant), but however awful it is, I don't think it's particularly relevant.

Nobody is saying that women should drink when they know they are pregnant. We are talking about whether a drink that someone has before she knows she is pregnant should be on her records for life.

And what about drug use? GD2 is the child of an addicted mother and has neuroprocessing problems which will be a life-long difficulty for her. Don’t think any amount of writing on forms would have changed her mother’s behaviour, do you?

A foolish and dangerous proposal which will not benefit anyone. As others have said, those who care what people think will lie anyway.

Yes I have worked with a number of children with the condition, I still think it is a horrendous idea.

Every year around 650,000 children are born in the UK and about 4,000 will have foetel alcohol problem. I am not diminishing the problem, but it really needs to be seen in proprtion and there is no evidence that I have come across that suggests the occasional drink now and then during pregnancy is going to lead to a child being born with that syndrome.

It is heavy and persisten drinking by individuals who have an alcohol problem who need help and that is where the money and help should be concentrated. Not demonising every woman, who has the occasional glass of wine at a wedding or onChristmas day, and worse still, transferring this information to the medical records of the vast majority of babies, who grow up healthy and well, but whose records are marked up, effectively saying they are a damaged individual because their mother, when she was pregnant, celebrated her birthday with a small glass of white wine.

What M0nica said. Excellent post, M0nica!.

It's yet another case of throwing the baby out with the bath water (and quite appropriate under the circumstances).

CraftyGranny

Just as a matter of interest Mokryna, my late husbands was a 14 pounder !! .

I did have the odd drink too, but wasn't much of a drinker when I was young.

I was told before giving birth that I was carrying a normal sized baby, no scanners in those days. Later a doctor told me that having a large baby was a warning sign for diabetes later in life This has always made me cautious about putting on weight.

DD2 was born in an old fashioned hospital. I had to go in for the week before she was born and they came around with a drinks trolley. They also gave me Guinness to drink after DD was born. Not any use to me as I don’t like the taste of alcohol.

The research says that there is no safe level of alcohol for pregnant women - this is not the same as saying that a glass of wine a day causes harm.

suziewoozie the research is not that definite. The website www.nhs.uk/news/pregnancy-and-child/new-evidence-supports-advice-not-drink-alcohol-pregnancy/ says:

A new review of studies found some evidence to suggest that drinking alcohol in pregnancy may affect babies' thinking abilities in later life, and possibly cause lower birthweight.

However, the researchers said the studies included in their review could have biased results, and the results should be treated with caution. The review does not answer the question of whether there is a low level of alcohol consumption that is safe during pregnancy.

Official UK advice about alcohol in pregnancy remains the same. The evidence from this study adds to concerns that alcohol may harm babies, so the safest option is still to not drink alcohol at all at any stage of the pregnancy.

NHS advice given very heavily surrounded round with caveats.

My advice would always be that the only thing we can be certain of is No Alcohol =No risk.
Mums can make their own decisions.

I think the big difference now is that women drink so much more. When I had my children in the early 70s, apart from the fact that women drank proportionately much less than men compared with today, quite simply we couldn't afford to spend much money on alcohol.

Most women stopped work when they had children and in our case, where I had a professional job, that meant our income halved. A small glass of wine, and glasses of wine were small then, every couple of months when we had a meal out, and a few more at Christmas, was about the sum of all the drinking one did, so warnings like this were not necessary.

Drinking alcohol wasn't nearly so widespread when I was pregnant so whilst not able to be positive think it unlikely I had consumed alcohol. Only smoke I inhaled was other peoples. Most friends did smoke and a lot if those did have premature or very small babies. Some of the babies didn't survive. If course now the medical advances help keep these babies alive but at a horrendous cost to the NHS and sometime the babies in later life.

If this is actually happening or going to happen, it is rather ironic bearing in mind the government's stance of "relying on the good sense of the British people stance" this year! My daughters were born in 1991 and 1996 when we were aware of the risks but I struggled to get pregnant. I did not drink much or often but before I knew I was expecting DD1, we had a dinner party when I know I drank more than usual and with DD2 we attended an event where alcohol flowed freely and I do remember getting slightly tipsy. Both were born at good weights and were healthy babies. I think this is a huge infringement of liberty but it is obviously really important to ensure women are fully aware of the risks.

When I was pregnant with my now 38-year old son, I didn't know until I was 7+ weeks gone - seriously. I stopped drinking straight away. Until then I was out on most Friday and Saturday nights having a few lagers on each occasion.

It seems as if the powers that be will not stop their intrusions on our lives until they know every single thing about every single aspect of our lives at all times.

Are they going to record if the partner smokes in the vicinity of his pregnant partner, thus possibly doing damage to both mum and baby? I very much doubt it.

It is an infringement on womens rights, it'll be used against us as evidence of bad mothering. I will be happy to see something like that when the fathers drinking is also recorded without his consent or knowledge and we all know that'll never happen. Yes, drinking is bad for the baby, excessive drinking is, I think I read, one of the major factors for babies and children being put up for adoption. Nevertheless, to have social drinking written into the womans pregnancy recoords is a good reason for women who are managing stress, anxiety, depression etc with alcahol to stop asking professionals for help and advice. Women have enough problems being believed and exercising power in the context of medicine, only got to look at the problems with mesh! Desparately sad for the babies who suffer alcahol damage, but to record every womens drinking habits during pregnancy, including the odd glass before they even knew they were pregnant, is further erosion of womens rights.

Someone I knew 40 years ago smoked through her 2nd pregnancy hoping for a smaller baby - he was 11lbs!!
I was encouraged to drink Mackeson (spelling?) for the iron, or Guinness which I didn't like. Drank M all the time I was breast feeding too apart from when I spilled a glass all ver a cream carpet.