Just had bad news

There are no words that can help. You just have to be there for each other and support her through treatments that are to come. Hopefully they will prolong her life. Sending love and peace x

I'm so sorry for you and your family.
Yes, weep. It's just what you need to help you process the sadness of it and the injustice.
Don't bottle up your feelings. You won't be the only one to feel this way.
I hope she stays well for as long as possible and hope for a new treat to help her and you all. Cancer, unfortunately, affects the whole family unit. I'm glad your gc’s have a loving family unit for support.
I wish you all well. X

So sorry Craftycat. Many people do defy the odds though.
Let's pray your DIL is one of them

No words Craftycat - life is so bl**dy unfair. I only hope your DIL has many many years to come - help them make the most of every minute and do talk to someone qualified - they will help you to help your family - thinking of you x

So sorry for you and your family craftycat let's hope purplepatch is right.
It must be a comfort and support to them to know you are there to help. Do take care of yourself as well though.

So very sorry ….this is devastating news for you and your family. Whilst I hope she will have more time, for you and your son and the GC's it is not going to be easy. All I could suggest is, and I am sure everyone will, make sure the time she has left is a good and positive as it can be and you can do thing together as a family to make some lovely lasting memoried. To this end, I would imagine you are all doing the suggested things ...keeping a 'memory box' for each child, from their parents childhood, their own growing up, the marriage, each birth and milestones, with whatever items you may have (hair, a particular painting, etc of things the children have done or made over the years...and please do get in touch with a child bereavement counsellor (for yourself, so you know how to deal with each stage ...there is no need for your DIL or your son to know if you would prefer to do this alone for yourself for the moment. So hard for you and my thoughts are with you all

Weep buckets when you are alone, then gather your strength and be there in any way you can for them.

Craftycat I am so truly sorry that you and your family are having to cope with this bleak prognosis. Others have said wise words and I can only agree and send you a big hug and say of course... weep... it is necessary and you should allow yourself to let the sorrow and worry find an outlet, as often and for as long as you need to. xx

So sorry to read your sad news.

Such sad news for you. I'm so glad that you live so near to them, for all your sakes. Being able to help them will give all of you some comfort. Thinking of you.

So sorry to read your post. such news is devastating. Please don't give up hope, my youngest sister was told her breast cancer even after radical surgery would likely return within the year, she is still with us 15yrs later still clear, no return at all during this time. Let the emotion out and cry when you need too. My thoughts are with you.

So very sorry, its such a tragedy when it is someone so young and also for your son and grandchildren. Thank goodness you are close to help if the time arises. All I can say is that a friend who is in her 40s was diagnosed with terminal cancer about 7 years ago, she remains well even though the cancer has come back in different places requiring surgery. When she got the original diagnosis she was told a very similar thing to your dil and we all thought she wouldn't last the year out. Sometimes I wonder if the very truthful and blunt way people are told is a good thing or not., surely better to live in a certain amount of ignorance than always be wondering how long you have left.

I am so sorry for you and your family craftycat.
If it is any comfort I know someone who has had stage 4 cancer for several years. She has regular treatment which is keeping the cancer at bay. She looks very well at the moment. Meanwhile she is making the most of the time she has left, she travels a lot and enjoys life. . She is one of the strongest and most positive people I know.
Wishing you and your family well. .

Shocking news for you Craftcat. ? You really must shed the tears, It’s a release but stay strong for your lovely family and do everything you can to make happy memories. Sending love to you. ?

I’m so sorry to read your awful news, Craftycat. Sending love to you and your lovely family. I hope your DDIL’s treatment works miracles for her xx

So desperately sad to hear this news, Craftycat. There are many wise words above, and from some who have had a similar experience. The support of family, friends and the professional groups is vital, and I believe talking it through, rather than bottling it up, is so important. There is so much love and kindness out there. Sending love and positive thoughts to you and your family.

I'd say just let it out and have a really good cry, and if you need to do that every day, then do it. It's absolutely heartbreaking. It always seems to me that the nicest people go early and the evilest ones last forever. Life is so very very unfair. I'm glad you are close by and will be there to help pick up the pieces. Love and virtual hugs to you. :'(

What very sad news and terrible for the whole family. On a practical level it would be worth asking for a second opinion with another consultant oncologist and for your son and DIL to go there with a list of questions and to ask if they can record the appointment. It is often impossible to remember what was said n those circumstances. It is not an exact science guessing how long someone has got, but there may be treatment options and even trials that might be suitable and whilst it is really important to make the most of life it is also worthwhile exploring all their options. Whatever happens goo luck to the family and I'm sure you will all give each other great support.

Very, very sad. The Macmillan nurses are wonderful and will give you and your son the support you need at this sad time. Reach out to anyone who can support the family and yourself. I can't imagine what you're going through.

So sorry to hear such sad news Craftycat.. I hope you (and all your family)can cry when you need to... sometimes you will be able to be strong and other times not quite so much but be kind to yourselves. Sending love and big hugs

I’m so sad and sorry to read your post. I do totally, totally agree with DaisyL about getting a second opinion and explore every avenue of treatment . Especially make sure that a third party ( friend , relative) is there at all consultations. I was the ‘scribe’ for my best friend when she was diagnosed, it was a positive thing for me to offer, and helpful to her close family .
You are allowed to cry, don’t bottle it up . Pm if it helps, and stay on Gransnet. X

Take every opportunity to make lovely memories. You are going to need to be so strong supporting both your son and grandchildren. Crying does often help, don't bottle up your feelings. Post on GN as often as you need, someone will always be here to respond to your posts - we're a big support group. Only sorry we can't offer practical help.

I really dont know what to say to such devastating news. I do agree with Hotmama that great strides are being made in cancer treatment and hopefully there may be something on trial that can be given. Have a good cry and then another. You are stronger than you think. My thoughts are with you.

You are not alone. There has been a recent diagnosis of cervical cancer in my family. There are two girls, ten and twelve. I don’t know what the outcome will be and how everyone will cope. I am so sorry. Life is hard.

I’m so sorry to hear your news. At this time, my husband has been diagnosed with terminal cancer, so I can understand some of what you’re feeling. Having said that, my mum died when I was 14, my sister was 6 years old. We weren’t told about mum, I guessed she had breast cancer when I was 12. Please, please take some advice on how to handle your DiLs illness from the children’s point of view. My dad was an alcoholic and left me to care for my mum and look after my sister, the house, shopping, cooking, washing my mum and feeding her. She even died in her bed with me in the early hours of the morning. Yet, I wasn’t allowed to go to her funeral because I was ‘too young’. So, for me and my sister, there was no final goodbye. No chance to grieve. For my sister, mum was there and then she was gone. That was 50 years ago now but both my sister and I have suffered in one way and another since she died. Things have moved on now and children are considered more. Please look into how this awful, untimely and tragic situation can affect her children and how best to handle it.