Postoperative depression - help please..

Give her time. She has undergone major surgery and that would be a very traumatic experience. She will be feeling very vulnerable after the shock to her system. Just let her relax and take things easy. I’m sure she will have a post operative appointment soon, when she will be able to chat to the surgeon. It may help if you know anyone else who has had the same op- that might help.
Continue to support and encourage her and I’m sure her confidence will return. Six weeks is a relatively short to expect a full recovery. I send her all my very best wishes.

I think it is fairly common.Reassure her that she is doing well and plan little trips and outings. I'm sure she will soon pick up.

I gather it can take quite a while to get over the effects of the anaesthetic, let alone the op.

I think mrsmopp has made a good suggestion, in finding someone else who has had the op to talk or meet with her.
Probably quite difficult but the outcome could be very up lifting for her, as there is nothing quite like talking with someone who is in a similar position to yourself.

Best of luck

Post-operative depression is common, but there are a couple of things to consider which may show similar symptoms: infection (which usually has other signs, but not always if low-grade) and anaemia (somewhat more likely)
You say she is unwilling to go to the GP - why specifically? The surgeon, specialist nurse, GP or practice nurse can request a test for anaemia.
You can buy iron supplements over the counter, but given her age, the fact that she is post-operative, and that it may be something else, makes me think it would be a good idea to seek advice.

My mum has her new knee at 85 and she was like this for about 8-10 weeks, her mental health recovery coincided with spring arriving - it’s such a dreary time of year. She seemed to be an old lady overnight and fearful of everything but now, at 87 she’s back to her old self, rushing around the shops, collecting GC from school and full of beans. It just takes time, perhaps a UK weekend away for march/April might get something to look forward to?

The affects of an anaesthetic can last for ages afterwards. The older you are, the longer it can be. It may be advisable to have a blood check though, just to be sure.

I would also suggest a blood test, she might be happier with a physical reason to see a doctor too and you could maybe accompany her and gently suggest what the issues are x

I think it's still early days and maybe you are expecting too much, too soon. Maybe some short trips out, watching comedy films, extra treats and attention might help.

I had a post-operative depression for a very long time - and it was very serious indeed. Also after a hip replacement. A dreadful time in my life which I shiver to recall.

In my case it needed treating with an anti-depressant.

Many thanks for all of your advice ladies. She goes back to see the consultant on Monday and we chatted about her mentioning her weight loss (a stone and a half) along with her mental health. She is more willing to do so with the surgeon than with the GP but as she has regular blood tests for her thyroid it should be easy enough to ask for an iron test too.

Thanks @mrsmopp too for your suggestion on finding someone with recent experience of the surgery. I am in the throes of organising a tea and cake outing for a meet up and am hoping to take her to the cinema next week if she fancies.

How awful @luckygirl. Can I please ask when you realised it wasn’t simple post operative depression and it was going on too long to be so? Apologies if it is painful to think about and I understand if you have no wish to reply. Sorry for your trauma.

Anyway, thanks to all for your thoughts and advice. x

I had low mood years ago after a hysterectomy and some complications with it. My husband now says I wasn’t right for a good while but I think my hormones and needing a transfusion had a lot to do with it.

I think it is quite common though I do know that general anaesthetics (especially nitrous oxide) tends to render vitamin b12 in your body useless, I suffer from a b12 deficiency due to other causes and get injections for it but I am also acutely aware of other causes for it (GA being one), either ask the doc to test her blood, it is also common as we age so maybe her body was starting to get low anyway and this has totally depleted her, or get some over the counter vitamin b12 tablets to take, I noticed my hubby suffered full on depression each time he had operations so last time he had one I made sure he took b12 tablets as soon as he came home which helped a lot, hope your Mum feels better soon

As a start today I am going to purchase some iron and vitamin B12 tablets to support her recovery. I think it would have helped if she had known to expect something like this after the operation but everyone kept saying, “you won’t look back”, “it will give you your life back”. It is only now on asking people specifically that they are mentioning their loss of appetite, weight loss and difficulty focusing. Maybe that is hard to recognise and admit once you are a year or two on from recovery but I wish she could have spoken to someone honestly. Thank you all for doing so now.

Valski - the answer is that we all knew something was seriously amiss very quickly - a matter of a few days. It turned my life upside down. But I had a tricky post-operative course physically too - went into atrial fibrillation and finished up on the cardiac unit; and it was impossible to achieve proper pain relief because thee are various painkillers that I cannot take.

I also had to stop the one tiny dose a day of an anti-depressant that was being used to prevent migraine I stopped it for the surgery and I think my body missed it and this may have been anther trigger - so a whole raft of things went wrong for me that contributed to the problem.

I hope you are able to find a way of helping your mother through this difficult time. Thank goodness she has you there.

Tell her to take it easy. With age, postoperative depression is common. Let some time pass. If depression lasts for a long, consult your physician. He/she will suggest you proper treatment.

Thanks for sharing @Luckygirl, it sounds like you went through a hellish ordeal with all those issues to cope with. I hope that you feel proud for battling and coming through the other side as there must have been some very dark days. Take good care and thank you for replying,