OH has fractured femur - not a good situation

That is so sad and also upsetting for you, lucky.

It has been mentioned before that talking to PALS might be a way forward. Or can you make nuisance of yourself with the Matron?

The idea of a carer isn't a bad one - maybe for half a day? Or a couple of visits!

Sending lots of hugs!

Lucky I am really saddened to read about the nursing problems your husband is experiencing, both for your own situation, but also because there are many who don't have the good fortune to have someone like you who will stand their corner and ensure that they get the care they need.

My daughter is a nurse of the old fashioned 'nursing is a vocation' school. She has been both nurse and patient and says that basic standards have been dropping for years due to a combination of staff shortages, too many managers and not enough senior/experienced nursing staff - and poor recruitment and training practices. In consequence the patients don't get the same level of proper nursing care that they would have received in the past. For some (I hope most) nurses this is a matter of great concern, but with too much to do and too little time nothing is going to change any time soon.

I do hope that your husband is soon well enough to be moved into accommodation that is better for him - and for you.

Dear Lucky. Would it be possible for the family to hire a carer to be with him during the day? I have nursed people in the nhs who have had their own specialist carers.
Just to help him eat and drink and wash him would be good for a few days.
Just a thought.

I am reading your post and getting increasingly angry Luckygirl and upset too on your behalf. DH's dear friend went through situations like this in our general hospital. He's now been moved to the community hospital where the nursing care is so much better. No-one took any notice of him in the general hospital when he needed the toilet (he was supposed to stay in bed) and he tried to get to the toilet, fell and fractured his pelvis.

There really is no excuse for washing a patient and putting on dirty pyjamas when there are clean ones in the locker - that is not through lack of time, it is bad practice. Food being put out of his reach is just uncaring and lazy - it is just as easy to pull the table round and put the food within his reach.

They may be under pressure but I wonder how much some of the staff care - they are certainly not all like this.

I hope your DH can be moved soon to a ward where the care is better.

Thank you. I did have a good sing; but spent a very sleepless night. It is a hard situation to deal with at the moment.

Here is what we are up against:

- he needs his PD meds in order to stop his tremor and improve his swallowing. They are not given on time. We have to be there to remind them.
- he needs a lorezepam at 3 pm as he becomes agitated otherwise. I am constantly reminding them to give it to him.
- food is put where he cannot reach it, so we go in and help him eat.
- they did give him a bed bath yesterday, but put his dirty pjs back on when there were clean ones in the locker.
- he has sore heels and I am taking in the cavillon cream and dealing with that - heaven knows what is happening with his sacrum, as I cannot roll him to see. I have spent months getting that right after the skin broke down. He was promised inflatable troughs for his heels, but when I left 4 hours later nothing had arrived.
- he is medically unstable with dropping BP and blood results indicating some mild kidney problem. The solution to that is proper food (see above) and plenty to drink - he cannot reach his drinks either.
- he needed a bed pan yesterday evening so I got a nurse to deal with it. 30 minutes later he was still sitting on it (not great with a new hip and when you and just skin and bone). I got a nurse and explained that he needed a suppository as he uses at home. She said she could not do that as a doctor had to prescribe it - from my experience in the last week or so it takes at least half a day to get a doc.
- I have left them notes with clear instructions about which tablets are dispersible, which melt under his tongue and which need to be swallowed in a spoonful of yoghurt, but they constantly get it wrong and I find the notes screwed up in the locker. He finished up with a naso-gastric tube so they could crush the tabs and put them directly into his stomach. All they needed to do was to listen to what I am saying. OH pulled the tube out anyway after 24 hours.

I could go on....and on....and on. It is a system under terrible pressure; and I have to add that everyone is unfailingly kind and polite and mean well, but they simply do not have time - they promise to do something then someone else demands attention and they simply forget it.

I have spoken to PD nurse today and she will talk to PD consultant to see if he can be moved to her ward which is a "frailty" ward.

I am beside myself with exhaustion and would love to be able to pop in once a day and see him and not be in this situation where the DDs and I are on edge and on duty all the time.

It is sad to see - I used to work in the NHS and cannot bear it.

Morning lucky, I hope you got to sing last night and had a good sleep.

Hope you enjoyed choir lucky, it’s important to have things that ‘feed’ you so you can keep feeding your husband. Sleep well.

I hope your DH was a little better today. Hope you enjoyed going to choir. I bet your friends were pleased to see you.

I hope you're at choir as I speak, lucky. Whatever helps you will help your OH in some way too even if indirectly

Glad there's been some improvement Lucky, hope you get a lift from the music tonight.

Sing your heart out - it will do a power of good. x

Just what you need Lucky.

I second that grannyqueenie!

Glad to hear better news lucky. I hope you’re able to go and sing your heart out this evening, it’ll do you a power of good. x

Encouraging news! Hope the improvement continues and that he is moved as soon as possible.

Morning kitty - thanks for the tea.

No word from hospital so that is good news. My DD is going in this morning with wee GS; and I will be there this afternoon. If he is reasonably stable I hope to shoot off to choir this evening - I feel the need for some normality. And when I go in the evenings he is mostly asleep. I will wait and see how things are.

Morning lucky!

Well Lucky, things seem to be getting a little better each day so fingers crossed he continues to make progress. It's easy to forget that you need to take care of yourself too, so please take notice of everyone urging you to get some rest when you can. xx

Lucky just wanted to send you love through the ether. What a very difficult, worrying and stressful time you have had.

No one could have done more. Your OH is a very lucky man to have you, and I am glad he is making progress but your caring load is going to be very difficult - even more difficult - for some time. I am so glad your daughters are supporting you but I do hope you can switch off and look after yourself too. The emotional, physical and mental strain of it all must be taking its toll. Do rest when you can.

You are a star. Some flowers for you

PS: You know your user name isn't very appropriate, don't you. x

Some improvement then, Lucky. Hopefully he will soon be able to be moved and then the pressure on you ought to be slightly relieved.

Dear Lucky, one thing to try to feed him would be live yogourt, especially as he is on antibiotics. All the best to you both.

Excellent news Lucky, onwards and forwards- but look after yourself please. x j

Good news on your Other Half's progress Lucky things are sounding more positive now.
Onward and upward. Rest when you can and look after yourself as well.

Good news that he is making some progress Lucky, and been out of bed, better for his chest, and morale am sure. Only physios were allowed to hoist my mother when she was in. Visiting can be exhausting and emotionally tiring without having to be alert that basic care and treatment is being carried out. You need time for yourself to recuperate.

Please lucky washing and changing his clothes are basic nursing care. You must say something because pressure sores are a real problem and even more so there if he is not receiving the care he requires.

I would also ask the staff if they would like to be fed cold, congealed food- I thought not.

I know I keep nagging and I do apologise but you have to look after yourself- you will be of little use to anybody when the men in white coats visit.

As he has had major surgery it is the job of the physio, not the ward staff to stand him and walk him at least once. I am well aware of his weight and how weak his muscles are. He should be seen by a physio daily.

Is he on an orthopaedic ward? If not why not?