The Black Dog Gang

Anniebach, I have support from my husband .. who is a fair bit older than me .. so I worry about losing him instead of just enjoying the present. I have COPD .. fairly mild but stress makes me worse. My daughter has depression and my sister's husband has just been diagnosed with heart failure .. not sure of the prognosis yet. I need to be there for my sister but feel I'm being pulled every which way .. husband, daughter, sister, three sons and four grandchildren. I shall retire at end of March - age 62. Think it's the right thing .. but money is a vague concern. Sorry to moan .. but feel better writing it down!
Thanks.

Joce345 - you not being here will not stop the pain, it just passes it on to someone else (your children?) - that’s something I read recently and is what keeps me going.

adrisco do you have support ? Health and family problems are exhausting x

Thank you Anniebach .

Guilt not allowed x

We have to try to stop feeling guilt for something we haven’t chosen to come into our lives

adrisco I am sorry you are troubled, we here will listen

Please count me in. Going through a low period .. health anxiety and family problems. Also feel guilty for feeling this way!

Thank you all for your support means a lot ...yes I will give the doctors another visit... my last councillor was really good but i am not guaranteed to see the same one...thank you all again....

Please, please stop guilt, it just makes you feel more depressed , you wouldn’t feel guilt if you had a physical illness,

Joce345, see another GP . Do you have an active local MIND ? You will get understanding there, and we are here and all struggling x

ScotinOz no guilt please, people can have the most comfortable of lifestyles and depression and anxiety x

Joce345 You are not on your own and you can come on here and 'unload' at anytime - we understand. As Anniebach says your daughters would not be better if you weren't there. I do think you should go back to your GP, don't let her fob you off. Tell her what you've told us. Can you try another counsellor? I finally found the right one at my third attempt. They are not all the same.

Hi Dawn22, I am also on Lexapro and have been for a few years now! I must admit I am heavier than I've ever been and find it depressing trying to lose weight.

In my mind, I have no reason to have feelings of anxiety and depression as to lots of people I have a good life (and I do), but then I feel guilty for feeling this way....although I know it's a condition I can't help, but then that increases my anxiety. Vicious circle

I have seen a councillor, and my GP ...councillor was good but can’t get to see him again, I don’t know why I have seen another one and he just said aww yes it’s a fear of fear ...and my GP well just think she has no idea , or I am just too much trouble for them ... I will keep going because like you say I need too for my family who I love with all my heart,,, I just wish I new how ..thank you for talking to me Anniebach ..

Jocee345 . Your daughters would not be better if you were not there, they would be grief stricken.

Have you considered seeing a councillor, a talk to your GP ?

I know exactly what you mean notoveryet, it is so hard and a very lonely place when looking after a sick loved one, friends and family are supportive (more so in the early days I have to say) but I am sure they are fed up listening to me by now. And yes I look at other retirees with envy as they go off on a trip, and then I feel guilty for feeling that way, it’s like wading through treacle some days....

Thank you Anniebach... yes I have a very loving family and a true friend of 50 years that are alway there for me, but of late I feel like it’s just upsetting them, my daughters are very good but I put them under so much presser it’s unfair of me they would be better if I was not hear.. I feel so much for them I think some times it’s harder for them than me ...I am very fortunate to have such a loving family round me... it’s this constant fear that won’t go ...

Joce345, I am so sorry you had cancer in the past, understandably it has left you fearful. You must not think of yourself as selfish, you didn’t choose to feel as you do. If you broke your leg you wouldn’t call yourself selfish.

I don’t want to be nosey so if I ask a question which you don’t want to answer, that’s fine .

Do you have the support of family and or friends? Often when we are stressed or depressed we keep it to ourselves, some don’t have support . We on this thread understand, you can talk here anytime x

I had it my self some 12 years ago now .. I think I dealt with it quiet well but this last couple of year have been really bad...it just seems to get worse as I get older, I dont cope with thinks very good at all... even down to going on holiday live is just so stressful, well seems that way to me.. I really need to try more, I do try really hard but it’s just gets too much ..am I just being selfish I don’t know ...I don’t no much at all at the min ...

Joce345. Many have that fear , more so now that it is discussed in the media most days. Have you had close family with cancer ?

Hello all.
I haven't really felt able to offer much support lately; I've been trudging along, trying to get done what I need to.
I'm probably going to moan now, but things have been quite challenging at times, in terms of my situation.
I keep thinking "if I could just...." (fill in the blank with any number of issues)
Money. Job. Childcare. Leaky toilet. Overbearing neighbour. No friends.
My thoughts are that when some of these things are resolved, then I can start to feel happyish again.
I won't ever feel genuinely happy, I know that.
Happyish will do.

I can relate to that joce345, I’ve been having horrible anxiety attacks and black cloud feelings for months now. My DR has given me very low dosage oestrogen gel as it seems meno symptoms hit me like a brick. Only been on it a week and feel a bit ‘lighter’. Mood up s bit and anxiety under better control. I too worry about illness etc but trying to analyse why I get these feelings and trying to rationalise them. Hope you find peace soon, lots of good support on here.

Hi Anniebach yes my fear is always cancer... the smallest think and that’s it, i can’t stop my mind going round and round it’s a constant fear for me ...

joce345, May I ask what is your greatest fear about your health ?

I have health anxiety, I am really struggling have been for the last 3 month errr my head will not stop.. is there any one else that suffers with this I am 63 years old ...

I will be in... would love some one to talk to .

Dawn I can’t give any advice / ideas on medication sorry, but bumping this thread up it may come to the attention of those who may help x

Thanks folks for this post. Count me unfortunately in too. I know some of you take medication as l do. 10mgs escitalopram (lexapro). Would any of you have a good experience of an antidepressant that does not include weight gain. My appetite is definitely increased with Lexapro and thus unwanted weight gain. Any advice/ideas would be great to get. D