Not telling family about cancer

My first thought was does she actually have cancer.
Or is it attention seeking or is she after something.

If she is genuine then my advice would be to keep a weather eye on this and support your daughter if she decided to get involved.

As we don’t know the identities of the OP, her daughter or her daughters friend I can’t see the harm in discussing, in a general way, her situation. It won’t do her any harm and IMO it is interesting to read how other people deal with the awful things that could happen to any one of us. Also the feelings of those who have been left out of the loop have had a chance to tell us how they felt.

When my mother was seriously ill, heart disease not cancer, she chose to keep the seriousness of her condition from my 2 brothers and me who were aged 23, 28, 34 when she died. I, the eldest, had 2 DCs (9 &7) who adored their Nana. The shock of her death was awful for us all. My dad was grief stricken ..though I assume he knew, and I focussed my attention on supporting him. I was angry that, whilst trying to protect us, she caused us all greater anguish & guilt..all those "if only" moments! I am fine now..it was a long while ago but I would have rather known the painful truth.

I totally agree with Maw this is not something we can discuss we, nor you Flutter know absolutely any details at all and neither should we
It’s not our news, it’s not your news, it’s not even your daughters news Let it be

When my DH was diagnosed with prostate cancer, he didn't want anyone to know at first. He said people would treat him differently. We were due to go on holiday with a couple of close family members and the holiday went ahead. We should have got an Oscar for our acting skills. When we eventually told them after the holiday, they said they would never have known. I don't know how we did it. I agree that everyone deals with it in their own way. It has to come out eventually.

Although I agree with Maw in principle, I think we do get upset about such things, and this is a place to share them.
I definitely agree with everyone who points out that people deal with things in their own way, and with so little information you can do nothing but sympathise.

I think it quite possible that she confided only in your daughter, who she saw as someone she could trust, and someone who was outside her close circle (ie: would not immediately go to her husband or other family).
I'm afraid that I also think it possible that she is spinning some lines to your daughter who she sees as sympathetic, and that is why she is turning up sporadically with odd stories.

I would advice you / your daughter to be sympathetic when she turns up, but not get dragged into any complicated family business about who she tells and how.

Yeah, I agree with them. Everyone deals with it in their own and different ways. Eventually, the illness of your daughter's friend will no longer be a secret.

Everyone deals with what life throws at them in their own way.

I am not happy about discussing how a third party (friend of a daughter of a member of GN) May or may not have acted for the best during a particular time of stress in the family.
Too much conjecture.
What is there to understand.
It is not our, or indeed your, business.
Sorry to be brutal but unless this affects you personally, I don’t see what there is to say.

It’s so easy to worry about other people and try to work out their thinking flutter but the truth is there’s no understanding some people.

Sad though this is, your daughter’s friend is now terminally ill. Try not to worry whether she has told anyone else. If she hasn’t it will become obvious very soon.

Everyone deals with cancer in their own way. I've been a cancer phone counselor for years and believe me, there are stories that you wouldn't credit . It is possible that the friend has not confided in anyone but your daughter - maybe she felt that here was someone who would listen and not judge.

All your daughter can do, is to be supportive since the friend is now obviously getting some treatment ,though it's hard to know what - "some pills" doesn't sound like a very serious treatment for stage 4 breast cancer. I can only assume that she is at the point where no treatment will have any effect and she is now on borrowed time.

Maybe you daughter can gently find out if the lady's husband knows what is going on - if there are teenaged children he should at least know what is going on so he can plan for the future.