Mother of the bride nerves

Ask your GP for help. I reckon you just need breathing techniques. Try to enjoy it.

The nerves before anything are always worse than the event itself , visitors, exams, dentist - once it actually starts you always feel better, partly because it's nearly over.

Sometimes I fix in my mind a time after the event - eg next Thursday and think "By then it will all be over, just a question of living through it."

My aunt once said think of the bible, "And it came to pass.......". It will come, and it will pass.

At least half of the people there will be people you already know so that is fine. At my daughters wedding I went up to tables of the grooms guests and found all I had to say was I am Nicola’s mum and they all made conversation with ME!! It was far easier than I thought it would be. Try to relax and just enjoy it. I was a nervous wreck at my own wedding but enjoyed my daughter’s enormously.
I had an outfit I liked with a huge hat. As I was leaving the church I forgot about the size of the hat and bounced it off the wall. Most inelegant but funny and set the tone for the day. Good luck and let us know afterwards how it all went.

Another thing you can do is ask your doc for a small dose of diazepam. It will take the edge off your nerves and you’ll feel good. Despite what it says on the bottle you can still have a celebratory drink.

Hi, persistent bridesmaid here.

1. DONT PANIC. It is no longer expected for the brides parent(s) to do active hosting duties regardless of what is written on the invitation.

2. Talk to your daughter!! You will no doubt find she has delegated some of the 'hosting' tasks (moving the crowd around in time for meal, dancing etc) to appropriate members of the wedding party. She will genuinely not be expecting you to do much but smile and enjoy yourself; get her reassurance about that.

3. Don't wear a white dress or an oversized hat. At a formal wedding, no one should remove their hat before YOU do, so your consideration in not wearing it all through the meal will be appreciated by the guests.

4. Nerves and alcohol don't mix. Go very light on the celebrating until after the first course of the meal.

5. Your girl will be nervous about all her arrangements in case something goes wrong. Be a calming presence for her. Offer to run through her checklist and schedule for the day (flower delivery, hair amd make up people etc) with her a few days before so she is confident about when and how everything is happening. Especially what time the wedding cara are turning up!!

6. A chocolate bar before she gets the dress on will be appreciated. Its a long and hungry day for the bride before the meal is served.

7. Keep your happy face on if at all possible - the day will generate enough drama of its own, be the solid and reliable mum.

8. WHATEVER THE DRESS, HAIR, MAKE UP ETC LOOK LIKE, THEY LOOK WONDERFUL AND SHE IS A BEAUTIFUL BRIDE. Yes, this reminder needs to be in caps.

9. The entire bridal party will be grateful for a big packet of elastoplasts if you can fit them in your bag for the day. Sore feet are the devil's own work.

10. Waterproof mascara if you are a crier. I like Dior's New Look in waterproof, unlikely to budge. If you are a real crier, consider an eyelash tint the week before the wedding.

11. The couple and the photographer will already have decided what posed shots they want to be done. Keep smiling and say nothing about this. Photos are a major flashpoint of a wedding day nine times out of ten - everyone is tired, pissed off and hungry by the time they get done and in the UK they are usually also freezing as well. Smile and don't make last minute requests. If you have a particular photo you want taken, let your daughter know this now.

12. Everything about the day is GREAT. The food, the flowers, the service, everything is GREAT. This is not a day to pick holes in stuff beyond your daughter's control.

Good luck and enjoy yourself!!

Hi cheesecake, I have just joined Gransnet and find It really helpful and fun. I just wanted to share with you My husband had died so I gave my daughter away a few years back and also read a reading to them,they were so caught up with each other I don't think they noticed me to much. My daughter wanted me to do a speech but I felt that was asking too much of me so I refused because I didn't want to spoil my day either with stress. Her best university friend did the speech and it was really lovely and moving. You have to do what feels right to you, it is your day too. Have a lovely day.

Oh I do feel for you, but try not to let it get blown out of all proportion.
The main people are people you know & love, just be yourself.
Make sure you wear what you like & feel comfortable with.
Everyone else will be focusing on themselves regarding what they wear & worrying just like you. Have a lovely day.

Best if you talk to your daughter about exactly what role they expect you to play in this.

The more you know about the organisation of the day the less worried you might be. Knowledge is power !