Going into therapy

Goodness gracious NannyG4 jump in with both feet, why don’t you?

That was indeed a link and nothing to do with my personal opinion, and had you bothered to read it you might have found that.

I found 'Stop Thinking Start Living' by Richard Carlson very helpful when I found myself going over & over past situations at night. The book is available on Amazon for less than £5. Rather than an analysing or counselling approach, the author concentrates on describing helpful techniques for simply stopping the thinking itself.

Teetime I've been seeing a counsellor since last November (with a bit of a long break over Christmas and New Year) and it's been marvellous.
I'd been finding life difficult, all those changes of later years - children leaving home, long marriage, retirement for DH and me, relocation - and I was ruminating more and more on my childhood and my life and what I'd made of it. I was quite depressed.
I found someone through the BACP. He is very experienced, insightful and supportive. You can say things to a counsellor that you would never dare say to a friend and you don't have to reciprocate as you would with a friend. I've had a number of light bulb moments and I am much more settled now in my life.
It depends where you live but across southern England, I think the cost is likely to be from around £35-£60 an hour, I pay £45. Most counsellors will negotiate and offer concessionary rates. You do have to find someone you get on with. I think it's been well worth it.

Retreats can go either way. Some people find it really helpful to clear the mind and relax; others find that the lack of activity just leaves their mind to roam free too much which is not helpful if their current thoughts are on the gloomy side. There are all sorts of retreats so you would need to choose what suited you. Hope you find what is right for you.

There is a woman in the village who goes on so many retreats that it would seem she is retreating from the last retreat! Taken to that excess it does seem a bit self-indulgent to me.

We all have our regrets Tegan from when we were younger - we just have to move on as we cannot turn the clock back. And forgive ourselves for only being human. I too shot out of the door at 16 and off to uni without a backward glance - I just wanted to get away from the arguments.

Hypnotherapy?

...rather than going into therapy wondered if going to a retreat would be beneficial? I've often wondered what actually happens at one but assume that it's a way of clearing the mind in some way.

Wonder if it's a n 'age' thing? I've just had a meltdown having watched How the West Was Won, having been taken to see it by my mum when I was young. I broke my parents hearts when I left home at 17, never to return; just spend a while desperately wanting to turn the clock back and apologise to her. Also having problems sleeping; something that has only ever happened to me when I've been very worried about something. I have recently thought about asking to go back onto the anti depressant I took when my marriage broke down in an attempt to stop myself constantly worrying about things.

Counselling works if it explores the reasons behind what is going on for the client and finds coping strategies for moving beyond It doesn’t work if it’s just a case of talking it out only

I think that the government favours CBT as it supposedly fast and it has a certain quick-fix appeal. It looks logical on the page. And cheap.

But again it comes down to the therapist - I tried it once and it was, for my money, mechanistic, lacking in subtlety and very one-dimensional. The emotion-free atmosphere is sometimes not appropriate. At the time I had suffered a severe post-op depression and frankly had no wish to go on living as I was in such misery. The therapist received that info as she might the fact that I had fish and chips for tea. I found it chilling.

However, she did not seem awfully bright and was wedded to her computer screen rather than human intercourse. A safer bet for her I guess.

Jane10......very very new to GN and didn't realise it was a link or in fact I could click on it. Didn't mean any offence.

Counselling has proved very helpful to my DiL, helping her with the loss of her younger brother to suicide.
Admittedly we can't yet see if this will be effective long-term but it has certainly had a positive effect over the last difficult months.

Talking therapy can be helpful in supporting us through difficulties we experienced in the past or are living with currently.
Research is mixed, it's inaccurate to simply conclude that it doesn't work in the long term. So much depends on the person receiving therapy and the skill of the therapist. Your GP would be a reasonable place to start and may make a referral to the psychology department, though with the cuts that seems unlikely.
The government has been pushing CBT, on the basis that some research indicates 5 sessions help people. It can be effective with some issues, like phobias for example. I'm not its biggest fan. I've pm'd you teetime.

I had a complete breakdown about 20-30 Year’s ago. It was quite drastic and I lost a lot of memory, some of which has never returned relating to the days leading up to the total unexpected breakdown. I was very keen not to take drugs, so my GP arranged counselling. It worked for me!!

It was a link not OldMeg's personal opinion - although it may reflect it. Click on it.

Sorry you think that Old Meg....were all individual and what works for one doesn't for another.

I see a counsellor once a month - have done so for the last year. I find it helpful to have a neutral person with whom I can discuss those aspects of my life that are difficult without burdening my family or feeling disloyal. I find it helps.

Counselling does not work in the long term

Teetime......you do the right thing to talk about your anxieties... I think you'd be surprised how many of us suffer like you do. Like you I thought by now I would be able to deal with all that has gone before me....bringing up family, being a good mother/wife...my list is endless and I just seem to want to punish myself....

Have you discussed this your gp, I have thought about hypnotherapy but need to research this further. I do also think our hormones play a large part in this. I really hope you find some help....keep us posted. Kind regards.

Look at the website of The British Association of Counselling and Psychotherapy.
They have lists of accredited professionals, and a page where you can look for someone in your location.
A good few years ago they were about £30 per hour so you would probably be expected to pay more than that now.
I think the main thing is to find someone that you feel easy with.

I would begin with your gp. There are lots of different types of therapy and lots of therapists. Some you may get on with, some not. There may be someone at your surgery who is there to talk through problems. I wish you well.