Mental health - suicidal son far away

Hi,
I haven't really got any advice, I'm afraid, but I wanted to ask why your son can't leave his flat? Could he not leave it for a few weeks, at least? It sounds as if his mental health is reaching emergency point, and something has got to give. The flat seems to be the easiest option to let slide, for the time being.

So sorry to hear this, you must be worried sick. Its always difficult when there is a distance but you are doing what you can.
Please tell your son there is nothing to be ashamed or embarrassd about, mental health is an illness just as any other. Do you have anyone you can talk to? Try to get in touch with samaritans they could help you talk to him.
Do hope things resolve. Best wishes.

I too feel sure there is a way of him leaving his flat and coming home for a bit of care from Mum. He would be treated as a temporary resident if he was in UK, even if he does not have a current GB passport.

I wonder if the C.A.B could advise you about treatment here, should he come over. There must be some way.

I guess you don't know how long he would be staying with you. i.e. Is it just lock up the flat and come to you for a couple of months making sure that the rent and utility bills are paid. Or come to you and perhaps stay here in th UK.

Why would he be a 'tourist'? Is he now an American Citizen with a US Passport. If not, and he was back here in UK would he not receive health care under the NHS.

This is very worrysome for you, does he have a history of mental health issues. In the USA are there not 'walk in centres' that have a duty of care regardless of insurance.

My friend had a son who was working temporarily in the far east and his bi-polar hit a massive low, he had a complete breakdown. She flew over there and got him to the airport. Her then difficulty was getting an airline to accept him as a passenger. BA wouldn't take him and eventually Singapore Airlines did so on provision of a letter from the Airport Doctor.

Are you in a position to visit him? You can reach most places in the USA for about £600 return - though of course this might be a more expensive time of year.

Can you speak with any of the family over there regarding advice. Perhaps if possible they would take him to the airport and help out regarding keeping his flat ticking over until it was decided if he was returning any time within reason.

I do hope you find a solution.

Thank you all for the kind messages and concern. He has very little money so leaving the flat would be a problem with regard to rent. He is American. I moved to the UK in the 90's and have been a British citizen for many years. I really hate that country and this is one of the reasons. There is no such thing as duty of care as there is here. There is a family member who might help. I just need to figure out the best course of action before I ask. Thank you again for caring.

I should imagine there must be some kind of advice line you could phone regarding nhs treatment guidelines. It might be a starting point. Please let us know how you get on. Good luck.

If you have the money jump on a plane yourself! Go to him.

I do so feel for you Schnackie having gone/going through a dreadful time with met DS's marriage breakdown.

These are the things that have helped my son DS son survive a crisis in his life.

Try to persuade him to start talking to his friends again.
Although my DS had stopped taking our GSs to church his Anglican priest has offered him great support. We paid for counselling, could you manage that ? He started seeing a life coach who has made a great difference. Can you text him regularly. Go and visit him.

You must be feeling so stressed, tell a friend about your concerns, you need help too.

My thoughts are with you. [hugs]

Thank you all again! I am crying tears of relief and joy. I just spoke to my son and not only is he at the home of a supportive friend ( who spoke with me to assure me that he's ok) but my son called his sister last night and my DD offered to pay for his plane ticket over here! I am so happy now. I'm sure this will have a good outcome. Thank you again gransnetters for being there xx

Glad to hear positive news.

I doubt the NHS will be able to help unless his situation is critical. In many places in the UK the waiting list for mental health care is about 9 months and that's if you are British. If you can pay that is your best option for him.

Good luck.

So happy for you.

Make sure you get the mobile numbers of any of his friends so you can text them and vice versa, I have found this a godsend.

Well done to your generous daughter.

I just read through this and got a tear in my eye when I heard he’s coming over and got a supportive friend in the meantime
No he probably won’t get nhs treatment but just being with you and also the Samaritans and Mind will help I m sure you may have to ring a few times as it’s such a busy time
Keep coming on here there are people who have experienced this
Is his sister in U.K. or US ?
Good luck keep us updated I m sure we are all with you on this one

His sister is in New York and I know she is busy today but I will call her later to thank her. I've had problems in the past, but life has been rolling along nicely for me for quite a few years. I read of everyone else's family crises and think of you all with great sympathy. But it's my turn now and thank you all for your support and wonderful advice xxx

I am so happy for you. I hope that when he said s with you he can relax and have some tlc. What will happen about his flat in the US. Will it be there for him.

That's great news. How good of your DD to help out - you must be very proud of her. I love it when family is there for each other. Hope you have a lovely Christmas.

schnackie I do hope he will find some good help. You must be feeling desperate for him can you get over there to look after him.

(((hugs to you)))

Nelliemoster read all the posts ?

Don’t necessarily think that you need the NHS when he arrives. Think more about what you can offer him in terms of rest, relaxation, and the love and support of his mother and family.

It might be he needs medical intervention, but in the short term try good food, getting him out and about and lots of love.

Do get a medical diagnosis, if not possible contact Mind, if your son is suffering from clinical depression he will need medical help. I hope he will make a good recovery x