Can't be bothered

That is very sad brileo....you sound lonely and depressed. How long have you been feeling like this?

I see you said a year in your OP, but I meant how long has it been this bad.

What sort of age are you brileo? The menopause can make us feel like that. And so can older age. You may be simply tired. Perhaps don't push yourself. Grab any sun that comes along. Sit in it. Pamper yourself for a while.

Do you live close to your daughter and grandchildren?

Been like this for a long time, over a year I think, I do live close to my DD and GC, and see them at least once a week.

Thanks for your reply, I am 65, and had an artificial menopause in 1997, have suffered frequent (day and night) sweats since then - tried everything and every type of treatment available, but still they persist.

brileo hello and welcome. I'm sorry you are feeling low at the moment. Well you have taken the first step here to getting some friends at first on line and then perhaps later on you might come to a meet up. What part of the country are you in? Depression is hard work I do know I have been there and its a constant fight to get up in the morning. I don't know quite what to suggest except could you set yourself small daily goals like coming on here at least once day - you don't always have to say anything but I really think it would help you. Social media is a good way to start interacting with the others again and will probably get some inspiration to get your doing something. Good luck and keep talking with us.

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Hello brileo and welcome! It really is rubbish feeling like this and lacking motivation and I am so sorry you are feeling so down.

Whilst I appreciate that since you have diabetes you will be regularly monitored, just to be on the safe side, I would visit my Dr and ask to get full bloods done including Thyroid function and VitD even if you have to pay for the latter test to have it done privately. You never know but it could be something health related so it is best to get it checked out. How long have you been on the anti depressants and what are they? Sometimes they take a while to kick in and sometimes they don't suit your body anyway.

Is your husband supportive and do you go out and/or do things together and have hobbies in common. Do you do girly things with your daughter and have regular contact with your grandchildren?

Lots of questions but it is difficult to help without asking and as teetime says keep coming on here and talking as it will help you and may be, as it is for some of us, a lifeline and connection to the outside world!

X posts but brileo it is probably best to preserve your anonymity and give info only in general terms and not specifics as much as possible since this open to anyone.

I think the starting point is a visit to your doctor to tell him how you feel and ask for help. I suspect you may be depressed and that treatment for depression might help.

Meanwhile, come on this thread (and others) regularly. Do you drive and have access to a car? A group of us are organising a meet-up in either Abingdon or Oxford and you would be very welcome.

Could you try doing one day on and one day off? One day do a job or two round the house, or the garden. And perhaps a little walk. (With a bit of retail therapy thrown in?) And then the next day, allow yourself to do nothing much at all without feeling in the least bit guilty? We don't have to be "doing" all the time.

I know exactly how you feel. And antidepressants sometimes don't even seem to touch the sides. But keep trying. At least then you won't sink any deeper.

Good suggestions from others Brileo - what struck me was your comment that you had no friends and live a long way from extended family.
Could you have a short break to visit them?
That might be something to look forward to.

I think you should go to your GP and tell him how bad you are feeling in spite of the anti depressants. Perhaps a change of medication would help, or perhaps counselling. It's so hard to make the effort to make things better when you are feeling so down.

I know it's not to everyone's taste but have you tried Facebook? There are many special interest groups relating to books, TV and so on where you can chat with like minded people. It's quite nice just to get a friendly greeting from someone sometimes.

brileo - I do sympathise with you it is so very hard to motivate yourself I find but Jings' advice really hit the nail on the head, for me at least. I have found that this method really works and cuts out the guilt and thus the constant putting oneself down stuff. Sometimes I get a few active days in a row now so it definitely works!! My advice - just try it. Nothing to lose and maybe something to gain. Good luck.

It can be helpful to make a little list before you go to bed, of things you do want to get done the next day. Not a long list though! Something like, 'get washing on, pop to shops, plant a couple of the plants I bought at the weekend'. Just so that you know what you are aiming for. And you can feel good about having done it. Helps me, that does.

It's not easy though. But if you can start doing things, just getting moving, sometimes something in your brain switches over and you start to feel better.

Do think that more help from the doctor is needed. Diabetes can cause mood swings I believe...can't help but feel there's an imbalance going on somewhere. Did anything in your life change at the time that this kicked in?

I'm with Jings here. Lists (small ones) are good - and, again, don't beat yourself up which happens to me at 3.30am normally...... deep breaths and counting backwards from 85 helps then

I too would go back to the doctors and explain exactly how you feel. It might help to keep a diary for a week writing your mood and activities at different times of the day. There are other issues which can cause lethargy and general lack of interest in yourself and life in general. The medication you're on could actually be causing the problem or it could be something else - a full blood test to rule out other things would be an idea too.

Some very good advice up to now , I like JINGS idea of having one day on and one off then you can do nothing without the guilt! You do sound depressed and the antideps you are taking may need adjusting or changing so please go to see your GP . Depression is a horrible illness but there are so many things to help these days , don`t suffer in silence !