cancer

Getting edgy as Monday I find out my fate, sure the tumour will be everywhere and it will be bad news. I need as many fingers crossed for me as possible so please gnetters keep them crossed and legs too if possible on Monday.
Ive had a lovely week, going shopping, meeting with people I
ve never seen for ages and just spending time with DD and dgd but I have become more aware of how time passes in these last few weeks. I want to go back to having nothing more exciting/worrying than the bank statement coming in. I want a boring life with no worries. How ones priorities can change in a short time, I used to be so bored with life and look for excitement.

Dear Ethel, positive vibes are sent your way and your Gransnet support system will walk with you every step of the way.

How good to hear you had a lovely week x

etheltbags1 I do understand how you feel. You're anticipating the worst possible scenario, and that's only natural for a lot of us. Don't worry about diet or meditation for the time being (unless you want to!), those things will be more helpful later.

You will feel much more in control after Monday when you know what treatment you're going to be offered and have a timescale to relate to. Good luck!

dear Ethel I am thinking of you and hoping for the best outcome xxxxxxxxxxx

Thinking of you ethel, and hope to hear from you on Monday, remember we are all here to offload on.

I had my meeting with Consultant today. It has not spread to vital organs but they think it has gone to my lymph glands, so I need another type of scan(tomorrow) to see just how far. I am about to go online to read about what happens when it does this. I cant have an op at the minute as they need to give me chemo first, then when when lymph glands are clear they can operate.
so Im back to the waiting game but at least I know a bit more than I did.
Please share with me any experiences of this.

Best friend had same process with chemo first then op, and 18 months further on is fine, just has check ups every 6 months.
Will keep everything crossed for you, (((hugs)))

I am glad that the consultation is now behind you and that a treatment plan is being instituted. The most important thing is that the spread is limited and they can zap the nodes with chemo. Stay strong - we are all behind you.

ethelbags thinking of you today.

ethel I haven't had time to go on Gn for a few days and have just read your latest postings and I am struck as to how you seem to be dealing with it much better than last time I looked!! Go with it, refuse to give in to the bugger girl!!! we are all behind you.

I am so scared, I have been reading through various internet sites as I have not allowed myself to do for the last 2 weeks and I am so scared. It appears my tumour which, if its in the lymph nodes is called a stage 3. There are only 4 stages. None of the sites say that you can have chemo first, only if its too advanced to operate.
The doc was so pleasant but maybe put it too nicely, I think its much worse than I was told. I keep thinking of my lymph glands waiting for the next 3 weeks full of cancer cells that might break out at any minute.
I was told that there does not appear to be anything in my lungs or liver but my pet scan tomorrow may tell otherwise. I am back to square one, sleepless nights and worry worry worry.

Oh ethel, sometimes feel like saying bugger the Internet! You need to believe what your consultant says, and the plans for your treatment, although I know it's easy for me to say.
((((Hugs))))) and love to you

ethel it may sound harsh but maybe you should stop searching other internet sites, you are making it ten times worse for yourself and your imagination is running riot. I know that you are scared stiff but you are making it worse by not believing what the consultant told you. At least you are having the scan done tomorrow and not having to wait until after Christmas. Good luck.

I know I should not look on internet but I keep thinking that its all there for our use, I cant imagine what life would be like if I could not go on and check everything out, not just illnesses, I check out pet illnesses for my darling cats, I go on comparison sites etc etc. but I will try not to look, the doc told me not to either.
When I was young doctors did not tell you the truth about illnesses especially cancer/other serious stuff and so everyone just 'read between the lines'.
I have a good friend who has really bad cancer and she is so marvellous, she just gets on with life, takes her medication and forgets about it. I also have a neighbour who is 90+ and has had the same as me for years she says 'doesn't bother me, I just go for my check ups and do as im told'.
So when Im being rational I know im being silly but I cant help being like this, please bear with me.

Drs have to tell patients everything nowadays (because of litigation), and certainly don't hold anything back. Remember that they are the experts, and also know all the facts about your diagnosis and the best treatment for you.
Loads of us are rooting for you *[ethel] x

The internet is such a valuable thing, and also such a dangerous thing, because it cannot deal in the subtleties of individual cases and just presents overviews and generalisations. Your doc was right to tell you to stay off it!

But I do understand how compelling it can be in this situation and have every sympathy that you gave in to that temptation. One thing is clear - you are not "being silly" - you are just being human. It is a frightening situation because it is all new to you and the unknown is a scary place; so I am sure that everyone understands why you are feeling as you do.

Doctors do have to be straight with you these days, so you must trust your consultant and move forward with a sense of hope and reassurance that treatment is there for you. It s good that you have friends and neighbours who have more positive messages to convey - and you can see their messages in front of you every time you meet them. More reassuring than a computer screen.

No-one can pretend that this is not a huge challenge for you and your family, but there are so many people here who wish to cngribute to keeping your spirits up - stay strong.

Good luck for your scan tomorrow.

"contribute"

ethelbags1 my heart goes out to you.

I was diagnosed with bowel cancer 2 years ago - I was devastated to say the least, so I fully understand how you feel. I also aired my fears and worries on Gransnet, and everybody was so lovely and supportive.

I think you'll find the chemo is to reduce the size of the tumour and kill any cancer cells in the lymph glands before they operate. Trust in your consultant and don't look at the internet. The only sites I went on were the bowel cancer sites and Macmillan.

I was diagnosed on New Years Eve 2012 so the first day of 2013 I knew I had bowel cancer. I was very low and frightened. I had chemoradiotherapy which is chemo in tablet form at the same time as five weeks of radiotherapy. And then a big op in Septermber 2013. All cancer now gone and six monthly check ups. So be brave and chin up - I was always told bowel cancer is very treatable. I will be thinking of you over the next few weeks.

My mum and husband both warned me off reading medical books, pre internet. They actually went as far as burning them, so that I could not have a peek. They were not good for me, and they were right.

Bit drastic, soontobe! Couldn't they have given the books away?

(BTW I thought you were out of circulation until the New Year...?)

I'm back, but probably only for today.

They didnt want to give the books away, as they didnt want anyone to start reading them like I did.

ethel the big problem with looking up things like cancer on the internet is that much of the information is out of date if not downright wrong. Go with what your consultant says and trust him. See if you can find a good support group, I found a good one for DH's cancer on facebook. It means I can talk to people having the latest treatments and discuss side effects and the effectiveness of different treatments. It is so valuable to talk to people who understand exactly what you are going through.

Good Luck Ethel. Hope your treatment will soon be underway and you can look forward to feeling better x.

Good luck Ethel

Try to listen to your doctor and ask him/her any questions, ethel and try not to look at the internet (even though it is tempting)
If they have given you a number for the McMillan nurses you could always phone them with a query.
Good luck today