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Friend gave me a ticket to an event she could not go to. Do I pay her?

(44 Posts)
Pleasebenice Tue 22-Sept-26 10:07:51

I go out with a group of ladies quite often. They booked an event I didn’t fancy. Now one can’t go at short notice. She gave me her ticket. Do I pay her? Maybe half? It was not cheap but had I wanted to go I would have got a ticket.

StTrinians Thu 24-Sept-26 20:00:24

"Buy a gift." Good idea. Wish I had thought of that. I will try that, if there is ever a next time. (I rather hope not, didn't really enjoy the opera, felt like an imposter with guilt etc about the ballet... ) There is no such thing as a free lunch. Don't want to "look cheap" (!!) ... I did try! But... both times they refused. Gift is a good compromise, and idea.

Esmay Thu 24-Sept-26 16:52:32

Definitely offer to pay the full amount and if she refuses buy her a gift.
There's nothing worse than looking cheap.

StTrinians Thu 24-Sept-26 16:46:06

The different responses are interesting. First time this happened it was a hugely expensive ticket. (Opera at Glyndeboune no less.) Something I would never have booked, not in a million years. Not an opera fan, but agreed to drive my friend. I could not have afforded to pay then, and said friend said she didn't expect me to, and said "don't ask!" When I wondered how much it cost. I think her friend had paid for it. 2nd time, different friend was let down by anotger friend, and this time it was presented as a gift, as was so .last minute... Another very expensive seat (ballet). I did offer to pay, but again it was declined.

DamaskRose Thu 24-Sept-26 12:43:22

BlueBelle

I paid for my friend to go to a show we both throughly enjoyed about a year ago, she said I ll pay for the next one ……still waiting 🤔

I met a friend twice a year, I paid in spring and she paid in autumn but she always said she paid last time! It became a joke and I’d gladly pay every time if she was still with us …

JenniferEccles Thu 24-Sept-26 11:36:07

As others have said as you took the ticket I think you should offer to pay at least something towards it.

If I knew it didn’t appeal to me I wouldn’t have taken it but I would have suggested my friend offer it to somebody else who may enjoy the outing!

AuntieE Thu 24-Sept-26 11:00:35

As you did n ot refuse her offer of the ticket, saying either that the event was not really your thing, or mendaciously that you had a prior engagement that day, yes, you should at least offer to pay for the ticket.

If you do so, you can then turn it over to someone else, or hand it in to the box office saying you have been prevented from attending.

dragonfly46 Thu 24-Sept-26 09:43:17

I always offer.
If it was something I didn't fancy I wouldn't have taken the ticket.

SpinDriftCoastal Thu 24-Sept-26 09:28:51

eazybee

Definitely offer, and give her a bunch of flowers or similar if she refuses payment.

This.

Allsorts Thu 24-Sept-26 07:54:34

I presume the person has gone, she should have declined, unless she paid or sorted taxi and drinks or similar it is unfortunately very tight.

MawsRosie Thu 24-Sept-26 06:21:48

Pleasebenice

For clarity, another friend would have been alone if I didn’t go. I enjoyed it but would not have chosen to go.

It sounds as if OP has gone?

If you wouldn’t have chosen/didn’t want to go, you should have declined the ticket IMO, but if you went and enjoyed it you should have offered.
As others have said, a nice bunch of flowers now/bottle of wine/offer of a lunch or at least something would be the way forward now.

Warbler Thu 24-Sept-26 04:59:26

I've just been in a similar situation. A friend gave me a very expensive day out (Willow weaving a hare) that she was going on but due to very unfortunate circumstances she couldn't go. I couldn't have afforded to go but was thrilled to have the opportunity to do it. My offer to pay was refused and I donated the hare I made to her. It was a wrench as I had fallen in love with him, but later on in the year I will be cat sitting for her too, so it's swings and roundabouts and I was so glad of the opportunity to "open a door" on willow weaving and it was such a generous offer.

CarrotTop Thu 24-Sept-26 02:40:28

Sorry, I see now that the event hasn't yet happened. I still think that, in this situation, it's rude to take something someone else has paid for without making some kind of reimbursement. If she refuses money, get her a little treat (maybe ask her out for coffee and you pay the bill).

CarrotTop Thu 24-Sept-26 02:35:45

Did you tell her when she offered the ticket that you didn't want to go, or did she hold a metaphorical gun to your head to take it? Either way, in accepting the ticket you created a debt for yourself. Also, you did go (and enjoyed it), so it would be ill-mannered not to pay.

crazyH Wed 23-Sept-26 23:46:04

I have seen tickets being offered on FB , at a discount, for several reasons.
If it’s something you don’t fancy anyway , just decline the offer. Maybe one of your other friends would like to go.

StoneofDestiny Wed 23-Sept-26 23:15:36

If it was me and I didn’t want to go I’d have said no. If I took the ticket I would have paid for it - why would someone pay for me?
I’m sure people will say no to money - I know I have in the same situation, but a decent human will make sure you have some recompense. A meal out, a few bottles of decent wine or a gift voucher for the amount.

PamelaJ1 Wed 23-Sept-26 17:02:13

I bought 3 tickets to Jesus Christ Superstar for next April. My mum and husband don’t want to go. I’m happy to treat 2 people to go with me. I just don’t want to waste them.
I don’t expect them to pay but perhaps they could drive and pay for the car park? I don’t expect or even care if they don’t do that. I just don’t want to waste them!

Fallingstar Wed 23-Sept-26 16:34:31

Offering money might not be an option, a bit awkward, but getting her a nice bunch of flowers or her favourite tipple will probs go down well.

Oreo Wed 23-Sept-26 16:34:08

I would have said no thanks to the offer of the ticket, but as you accepted it you should really have offered something for it.
It isn’t too late to do that now is it?

LOUISA1523 Wed 23-Sept-26 16:16:13

I would not offer to pay anything...neither wpuld I ever expect payment ( or accept it) if I offered a ticket yo a friend....all of my friendship groups would ve the same....I would say thank you very much or no thanks.....I am just happy someone could use my tickets if I can't make it....I would never accept money from a friend ....I'm not flush...I'm not skint

Momac55 Wed 23-Sept-26 15:42:45

I had a spa day booked for two and the other person couldn’t come so I asked a friend. She didn’t offer anything , we went for lunch in a pub first and not even an offer if buying me a drink. When we were leaving she asked me how much the car park was and I told her it was £12 , she offered to halve me , I told her no she didn’t need to . This particular person has always been ‘careful’ with money so I wasn’t surprised . All in al she had a lively spa day that cost me well over £100 and thought £6 towards car parking was a good offer. lol

monami Wed 23-Sept-26 15:10:11

if you didnt want to go, dont accept the ticket , its as simple as that

Iamthewalrus Wed 23-Sept-26 14:46:09

I am part of a theatre group with seasons tickets and there is often a member who can’t make it to a performance. We will offer our ticket up and someone will bring a friend.
A thank you gift of a bottle of wine to the original ticket holder is acceptable. We would’t expect for the ticket itself.

Romola Wed 23-Sept-26 14:27:20

I think it all depends on the circumstances. I was recently given two tickets to a semi-amateur production of a comic operetta. The people bought the tickets but then decided to go on holiday across that date. One of them has been very ill and I know they appreciated my support and hospitality during recovery.
I haven't offered to pay, but I'll invite them for a meal again.

BlueBelle Wed 23-Sept-26 14:18:39

I paid for my friend to go to a show we both throughly enjoyed about a year ago, she said I ll pay for the next one ……still waiting 🤔

Ray82 Wed 23-Sept-26 14:16:52

Totally agree with the suggestions.Offer to pay,if refused buy a little gift.