LOUD VOICE

You may have got used to speaking loudly because your OH actually is slightly hard of hearing and you've adjusted to suit his hearing cos he's asked you to repeat yourself quite often when you're speaking quietly?

I have the opposite problem. My daughter speaks so quietly I can't hear her. There is nothing wrong with my hearing as I hear everyone else. I keep asking her to repeat things and she gives me a look as if I'm as deaf as a post.

Warning Poem by Jenny Joseph. My aunt loved it, I read it at her funeral/celebration of life when she left us at 104.

Welcome Melanie ?
I am glad your daughters have been able to be honest with you. I understand this has hurt you and maybe knocked your confidence.
I wish I was able to have this conversation with my mum.
She isn't necessarily loud but the inappropriate comments are definitely getting to be a problem (racist connotations, references to people with special needs not 'being right etc). Sadly I think mum would be crushed by her children mentioning this.
I think you should listen to what they have to say, and if they are not just being pernickity, adjust accordingly if you are able.
If they are just being precious tell them to read the poem about when I grow old I'm going to wear purple (sorry can't remember the name or author)
Good luck ?

I think the younger generations are much more PC than mine and sometimes I think they have the problem......as in too afraid of being seen to say the wrong thing. Political Correctness has become so over the top now as to almost be absurd in some cases. I would not dream of deliberately offended anyone , but some people tend to forget that older generations were brought up differently and used expressions that may seem rude or embarrassing by today's standards. Before I retired I worked for three different housing associations and we were regularly updated with all the "correct terminology " which we had to use and get used to. However a lot of the people I met during my work " not employees" were completely non PC. To me it's a generational thing and the younger ones need to realise that older people do not go out of their way to say the wrong thing. As for being loud is just your family that thinks this? You are best asking honest friends and take their advice.

I find I get loud if I think no one is paying attention to MEEE and the fascinating things I'm saying! Yes, I did teach, Emily, oh dear.

Maybe your voice has got louder because your hearing is getting worse? People tend to talk louder when they have a headset on and this is the same affect. Don't worry about it.

Melanie were you a teacher? One of my husband's friends who comes to visit from time to time was a teacher and speaks very loudly all the time. She sometimes runs art groups. If anybody asks for her I point towards the group and say she is the one who is speaking the loudest.

My grandma always told us as children not to speak like 'fish wives'. She had us say in soft toned, clear voices 'Papa, potatoes, prunes and prisms.' We soon learned not to speak like 'fish wives' no lack of respect meant for the fish wife calling her wares in the street.

Wecome to the group and hats off to you for being both loud and disconcerting........I have to work really hard to keep my scores up.

Trouble with the young is (apart from them being young nd full of energy) the silent communication they are used to, texts and FB etc. where they can delete things...........

Be who you are, got them this far haven't you?

One day they will long for your voice and adopt all your mannerisms, for which, they in turn wil be told off.

One girl's loud voice is another girl's clear diction.........

Sometimes my friend is very loud and she has no idea she is doing it. I have told her a few times to turn the volume down, it hurts your ears but other times she is fine. Even her daughter tell her. It's just the way she is

my sister and i had this problem with our mum who was hard of hearing. She also made inappropriate comments. It is very embarrassing at the time but now she has died my sister and i often dissolve into fits of laughter remembering the things she would say and do. I think it is a part of growing old. I find myself shouting at the radio and tv and sometimes not caring what others think of me. I believe my mum felt this too as she often said she had lived most of her life with a strict mother and two husbands who disappointed her and she had to keep quite over so many things. Once she was on her own she wasnt answerable to anyone only her self.

My first teaching job was at a rural school and many of the children seemed to naturally talk loudly. The staff agreed that it was the result of having to shout from one end of a field to the other.

Melanie clearly says she doesn't have a hearing problem Nellie

Melanie It is very difficult to tell someone that they are talking too loudly and it maybe that no one has mentioned it to you because they do not want to appear to be rude.
A group I attend has someone who speaks so loudly it is uncomfortable and to be honest it is very difficult when you are trying to have a conversation within a group.

Have you had a hearing check? Could it be that you are not hearing as well as you should be so you talk louder than necessary. Talk honestly to you most amenable daughter and see if she can help you with this.

Well if it's my job to embarrass my children and grandchildren I think I'm successful. I am going to wait until after Easter to ask for specific examples of inappropriate comments (I can't think of any) then I will post them on here.

My OH doesn't think I have a loud voice or make inappropriate comments and tells me to put it out of my mind!!

I will be back.

Be you Melanie you ve been you all your life why should you change now if nothing has been said all these years you can't be that bad

Isn't it our job to embarrass children and grand children

It's better than shouting 'Oi, You!'

Jalima That's such a funny sketch.

Melanie I think I would want to know exactly what are the sort of things you say and do that makes your family feel uncomfortable. If the "young man" comment is a typical example, I don't understand what is so embarrassing about it. Have you asked them?

I always think of the Harry Enfield and Kathy Burke sketches whenever I hear Young Man...or rather Young Maaan

Next time shout Garçon very loudly in a French accent.

DH always talks very loudly though, and I find myself saying 'shhh' quite often

Jalima

melanie tell your Ds that here in the north-east 'young man' is used as a term of endearment.
Especially to old men

Have a giggle Melanie

www.youtube.com/watch?v=C2hgAsi8Ae4

They seem very thin skinned to me, but that attitude's not going to help. I want them to love me and enjoy my company, so thin skinned or not I've got to fix it!

Melanie my daughter also tells me to "keep it down" or "we don't want the whole bus to listen". I don't get upset though I say "Oops sorry" and then I whisper and she rolls her eyes and we laugh.

She doesn't complain about inappropriate comments though ... Gransnet has taught me to be PC!

Welcome if you're new.

You sound like fun, Melanie!