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Heartbreaking parenting style

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Jocando Thu 15-Oct-26 22:47:48

I’m so sad and worried about the way my daughter speaks to her 3 year old. She can be mean when my little granddaughter is not cooperating, and speaks negatively about her in front of her.
This is even more painful than when she has had harsh words for me.
I’ve tried tactfully offering an alternative way of phrasing what she wants but she’s ver defensive and reminds me that unsolicited advice is a no no
It’s agonising feeling powerless to prevent emotional harm to my granddaughter.
I’m spending a lot of time thinking of ways that I can help and feeling heartbroken.

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Grammaretto Thu 15-Oct-26 22:54:26

I don't think you can Jocando. All you can do is be yourself and whenever you have the opportunity, you can share your wisdom with your DGD.

Trust your DD. After all you reared her so have faith that all will be well.

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BlueBelle Fri 16-Oct-26 04:04:17

I don t mean this to be rude Granaretto but the fact that Jocando raised her daughter in hopefully the best way, doesn’t mean that outside influences, haven't negated that presumed good upbringing.
I too would be very worried if I had a child who was bringing up a grandchild in a harsh or uncaring way
Harsh words/phrasing is a form of child abuse Tha child will either pull away with very low self esteem or become a bully herself.
All you can do at this stage Jocando is give the little girl very positive messages and feedback when she is in your care
(which I hope is often)
Is there a Dad ?

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teabagwoman Fri 16-Oct-26 07:35:43

I completely understand your distress but however carefully you word your advice I think it will be received as criticism and may even make things worse.

When your gd is with you, you can give her the positive messages that she needs and I can tell you from experience that this does help a great deal.

In the meantime is your dd having difficulties? Does she need support?

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