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Grandparenting

Daughter not allowed to know new baby’s name until she visits him

(50 Posts)
Houseseller Thu 30-Jul-26 10:53:34

My granddaughter won’t tell her mother what the new baby’s name is until she visits him.
My daughter is distraught that the baby’s name is being with held from her.
My daughter gets on very well with her daughter so that’s not the issue. She lives 2 hours away from her so is unable to see him for several days. My daughter was with her 2 hours before she went into labour so was very hurt that she wouldn’t
tell her his name when she spoke to her.
Is this a new trend?

Houseseller Thu 30-Jul-26 14:38:24

If you had read the previous posts you would have seen I changed it.

Plevey08 Thu 30-Jul-26 14:39:36

Because she's said you won't know the baby's name until you see him. Not knowing their relationship....could it be a bit of a cry for help to hurry up and come because I need your help.

Tuliptree Thu 30-Jul-26 14:44:23

As petra says, let’s hope she never has anything really important happen with the grandson to really make her distraught . Is the daughter fine? Is the baby fine? Then go along with it all as a bit of fun. My daughter didn’t tell me the sex of the baby until it was born - because she never found out herself. I thought that was great. The names were revealed as soon as they were born but if we’d had to wait, we would probably have made up silly names and just rejoiced in the happy outcome.

MissAdventure Thu 30-Jul-26 14:53:06

My youngest grandson was known as "that baby" for ages. Nobody could think of a name.. smile

Visgir1 Thu 30-Jul-26 14:53:07

Astitchintime

Why be distraught over this? Perhaps the new mum want to introduce her baby to GM by saying ‘hello mum, meet xxxxx, your new grandson’.
Celebrate the new arrival, don’t take umbrage over a name being withheld for a few short hours…….DD is being silly!

Couldn't put it any better.
She lucky her DD is letting her see the baby. So many these days don't let anyone see the baby until it's a few weeks old. I know someone who did that only a few months ago. They would not have anyone in the house until baby was about 3 weeks old. That included both sets of Grandparents.

BlueBelle Thu 30-Jul-26 15:05:58

I can’t remember when I was told the names of any of mine but it would never enter my head to be upset, I d just presume they hadn’t made up their minds and wait patiently to hear.
The only thing i wanted to know was that my daughters and daughter in law were ok and the babies had been born with ten fingers and toes and looked beautiful, without any damage.

You ll know when they re ready to tell you they might be
to-ing and fro-ing about it themselves.
Just enjoy the baby and stop worrying about things.

Houseseller Thu 30-Jul-26 15:20:55

Your comment is out of order , I asked a question about the trend today, not your comments on my daughter’s reaction to being excluded from the baby’s name.

Houseseller Thu 30-Jul-26 15:23:02

There is no question about not seeing the baby. Read my post I asked a question

Astitchintime Thu 30-Jul-26 15:28:50

My parents couldn’t have told any relative my name……I was supposed to be a boy, they chose a boys name, I popped out a girl…….and had no name for a month 🤪🤪…….was anyone bothered??? Nah! I was healthy, mum was healthy, and that was all that mattered.

Norah Thu 30-Jul-26 15:31:26

Why in the world does she care? Visit and learn.

MissAdventure Thu 30-Jul-26 15:32:25

I think the new baby experience these days is more focused on mum, dad and baby.
Years ago it was a whole family affair, sometimes with visitors arriving within minutes of mum and baby arriving home from hopspital.

Its now treated as a special bonding time for the new little family.

I supposr the name is part of that, too.

Fallingstar Thu 30-Jul-26 15:36:02

I think some parents do like to keep a baby’s name under wraps for a grand reveal. Or it could be your GD has chosen a name she feels your your DD might not like.
In any case sorry about the pile on regarding the word ‘distraught’, am afraid it happens, is like a pack of hounds scenting blood. Just ignore.

Houseseller Thu 30-Jul-26 16:01:44

Yes I agree, respect seems to be in short supply these days . Thanks for your comment. I would only say to the people that need to make comments to hurt. There but for the grace of God

Luckygirl3 Thu 30-Jul-26 16:03:31

Distraught - not really appropriate.

If one of mine said this I would assume they are still cogitating or it was a name that they knew I would love and wanted to tell me face to face. I certainly would not be distraught - I would just assume they had their reasons.

Luckygirl3 Thu 30-Jul-26 16:05:46

Please don't let this small thing come between you - there is lots of fun to be had with a new GC and that is what really matters. You need to be a wonderful grandma and make lots of happy memories. Just put this on one side and look forward to meeting the baby.

Nell82 Thu 30-Jul-26 16:09:14

I think the interpretation might be quite touching really. Your granddaughter wants to be there to see her Mum's reaction when she is handed the new baby and told his name. Better than a WhatsApp.

A modern trend advocated by some "experts" seems to be keeping visitors at bay in the early days to allow the parents time to bond with their child and establish a routine.

25Avalon Thu 30-Jul-26 16:22:43

We spent 2 days finally deciding on the name for dd. The hospital tagged her baby 25A. The important thing is that he is fit and well. Soon your dd will see him and all will be revealed.

Houseseller Thu 30-Jul-26 16:51:16

The name has already been revealed

Franski Thu 30-Jul-26 16:54:45

Maybe the new mum wants to see her nother's reaction. It may be a special family name that will cause a big smile. Please let us know!!

Sarnia Thu 30-Jul-26 17:05:25

It's the way it is nowadays. There have been several posts on GN over the years where confused and upset new Grandparents have to conform to some modern way of welcoming a new baby. Just let it go because to make a fuss can have serious repercussions.

Oreo Thu 30-Jul-26 17:24:25

crazyH

The baby is going to be named after your daughter.. Your granddaughter wants to surprise her ….

A boy named Sue?😂

Oreo Thu 30-Jul-26 17:29:26

Houseseller

I can understand some of the comments, however I would feel the same if my daughter didn’t tell me the baby’s name when I was living 2 hours away (But that’s me).
She doesn’t want to upset her daughter so will have to suck it up. I just wondered if this is the normal way the young deal with things these days. It’s a boy so won’t have grandmothers name. Yes distraught is probably a bit extreme, very upset is a better name. Thank you for your comments.

I’m afraid this is the way the young do things quite often now, not all of them , there are some sensible ones still about.
Everything’s a big drama.
It’s the Internet, another thing we can thank it for 😬

Mollygo Thu 30-Jul-26 17:38:42

Oreo

A boy named Sue?😂

It was good enough for Johnny Cash.

Casdon Thu 30-Jul-26 17:57:28

Rather than work herself up over this, why doesn’t your daughter just go sooner to see her daughter and grandson ratter than wait a few days? If she can’t take a day off work, two hours isn’t that far, it could be done there and back after work, assuming she drives?