Daughter not allowed to know new baby’s name until she visits him

As petra says, let’s hope she never has anything really important happen with the grandson to really make her distraught . Is the daughter fine? Is the baby fine? Then go along with it all as a bit of fun. My daughter didn’t tell me the sex of the baby until it was born - because she never found out herself. I thought that was great. The names were revealed as soon as they were born but if we’d had to wait, we would probably have made up silly names and just rejoiced in the happy outcome.

Because she's said you won't know the baby's name until you see him. Not knowing their relationship....could it be a bit of a cry for help to hurry up and come because I need your help.

If you had read the previous posts you would have seen I changed it.

I do think its a new "trend".
My friends son wouldn't tell her if the baby was a boy or a girl, or his name.
It wasn't out of nastiness, and they are very, very close.
Its just how things are.

Never going to happen to me but I would be looking forward to meeting my grandchild and hearing his/her name.

My DH and I never told of our choice of names until the day she was born. My mum commented several times on the spelling of her second name but we had a reason behind the spelling and it was tough titty as far as I was concerned what my mum thought.

Congratulations on your new family member. Please enjoy this blessing, 🎊

Distraught?! Blimey.

She just wants to introduce him by his name. Why is that “hurtful”?

I think it depends on how it was said. If they said: Ah, it's a secret till you see baby', then that would not bother me. But, if they said: 'We are not going to tell you the name. That is our decision and we ask you to respect it'. I would look at them as a pair of sad 'modern' parents who follow the modern trends. However, I would be tailoring my visits after that to suit myself when they were screaming for help.

Like many other Mums, keeping the child’s name secret is hurtful to say the least. My daughter’s sister has been told .
No the baby’s is not going to be revealed on instagram.

Maybe the baby's name is still "under discussion" between his parents?

I've known people register the baby with "our favourite" name then realise that the dream name doesn't actually match the real baby. My parents did that to me. On my birth certificate, my name is not Butterandjam. My bank, passport and the NHS all know me as PostPartumFlightOf Fancy.

What difference does it make how far away the GM lives? Yes it’s disappointing to not be told but if the baby is healthy and the mum is doing ok, does it really matter whether you find out the baby’s name immediately or a week later. My guess is the daughter wants to turn the reveal into an instagram moment.

We decided on our DS name the day before we went to register his birth, on the last day we were legally obliged to!

crazyH

The baby is going to be named after your daughter.. Your granddaughter wants to surprise her ….

That would be a very big surprise as the new baby is a boy

Not knowing the name straight away wouldn't worry me too much, I'd just be very happy with a (hopefully) healthy new grandson.

I think the daughter is behaving unreasonably, whatever the reason. But that is beside the point, Her mother can do nothing, but in her situation I would be upset, though probably not distraught.

If as the OP says mother and daughter had a good close relationship and had been together so close to the start of labour and the mother lives a two hour drive away, an out of the blue reaction like this would open up a chasm of distrust in our relationship that would be very hard to heal.

Someone I know didn't decide on the name for three weeks and "tried" a different one to see what both parents liked the best. The grandparents just called the child Albert and it stuck as a nickname! The baby was called something else entirely

Unusual, but “distraught”? Seriously? A lot of new parents don’t even finalise their choice of name (or they change their minds) in the first couple of weeks after baby is born. Drama isn’t really helpful to anyone.

I can understand some of the comments, however I would feel the same if my daughter didn’t tell me the baby’s name when I was living 2 hours away (But that’s me).
She doesn’t want to upset her daughter so will have to suck it up. I just wondered if this is the normal way the young deal with things these days. It’s a boy so won’t have grandmothers name. Yes distraught is probably a bit extreme, very upset is a better name. Thank you for your comments.

I don’t know whether to laugh or cry at the thought of someone being distraught at something so insignificant.
I can only assume that your daughter has never had an incident/ news in her life that would cause her to be distraught.

House seller
Maybe putting really upset wouldn’t have caused so much comment.
I have no idea why your granddaughter is refusing to tell the name until her mother visits.
There’s been some helpful suggestions on here, but maybe your GD just wants to be in control.
My sister’s sister-in-law’s, daughter-in-law (sorry it’s so convoluted), did exactly the same and then wouldn’t let her MIL hold the baby until he was 6 weeks old “because she’d been pushy and kept asking about the name !” Hope your problem sorts itself out more peacefully.

I think 'distraught' is a bit of an over-reaction. We didn't find out the name of our baby granddaughter for two days, and that was fine with us. It was up to the parents to decide on a name and decide when to share that with everyone else. The most important thing is that the baby is here and that both baby and mum are doing well.

Why be distraught over this? Perhaps the new mum want to introduce her baby to GM by saying ‘hello mum, meet xxxxx, your new grandson’.
Celebrate the new arrival, don’t take umbrage over a name being withheld for a few short hours…….DD is being silly!

The baby is going to be named after your daughter.. Your granddaughter wants to surprise her ….

Your daughter has been blessed with a new grandchild. That's the important thing. Not knowing his name for a short time should not overshadow such a very special time for her.

It is a bit strange but distraught is a bit OTT.
There may be a perfectly good reason such as mentioned above. She knows about the baby and presumably seen photos. Not knowing their hiding places name for a few days won’t change anything.

might the baby be being called after her mother?
It's a he, but then anything goes where names are concerned.

I'm sure this will all melt away the minute your daughter sees her little grandson. ❤️

Perhaps they haven't decided finally?
Perhaps she thinks her mother will dislike the name?

There's a new arrival in our family and the great-grandparents were most puzzled by the name but it's one I've heard of a few times (and like).