How far is too far?

monami

close knit families are a thing of the past, and if you have sons it will his wifes mother they live near

Not so in our case - we are closer to DS and DiL. Her mother lives 30+ miles away.

Frankly I'd settle for anywhere in the UK. Mine are far away.

Yes invited is the word these days. Sadly not allowed to drop in! Like my family did even at 7am in the morning.

I do. I’d love to be nearer. 💖

Surely it depends on many other factors rather than the mileage.. I live 20/30 mins away from mine, but see them at their parents home, when invited, (my eldest ds)

Foxgloveandroses

I had no idea that anyone would consider that there was a 'correct distance apart' that parents and their children should live from each other!!
..

One son is 12 minutes walk away, soon to be a 10-15 minute drive away. I used to see him and grandchildren about once a week which was lovely. Now they are grown I see son and DiL every 2-3 months, which is fine.

Other son is a 25-30 minute drive away which is ok but I don't enjoy coming home when the evenings are dark/rainy - so less in the winter. I see him and 2 grandchildren about every 8 weeks as GC's are younger.

All suits me, I let them lead their own lives and all are busy with work, partner, friends, past times, other family etc. etc.

I appreciate them being not too far away as I'm on my own. When I do see them it's a real treat and makes for a good day/week. Familiarity breeds contempt!

My son and family live 15 minutes away, and I am very grateful as I see them nearly every week and can help with the children's school runs. My other lives two hours away, and I don't think we shall see his possible children nearly as much unfortunately.

close knit families are a thing of the past, and if you have sons it will his wifes mother they live near

You are lucky they live in this country. My only child lives in Australia!

alita

We lived about 40 mins away when our first grand child was born. I felt it was too far, because I wanted to be involved in helping out, and 40 mins is too far if there's an emergency. We moved to be close to them, and even tho both sons have moved since we moved here 15 years ago, we are all within a 5 minute drive of each other. I pick up one or more of my 5 grandchildren from school every day, which is what I wanted.

I will say, it infuriates me when people say 'Oh, you are so lucky to live so close'! No, not lucky, we made it happen, we moved to be close!. As it is, both sets of other family live about a 4 hour drive away, so its good we are here to help out.

It sounds just right to me: bear in mind they may not stay there, depending on circs, and bear in mind that you may not always be able to drive - but they can of course and its not that far at all.

We lived about 40 mins away when our first grand child was born. I felt it was too far, because I wanted to be involved in helping out, and 40 mins is too far if there's an emergency. We moved to be close to them, and even tho both sons have moved since we moved here 15 years ago, we are all within a 5 minute drive of each other. I pick up one or more of my 5 grandchildren from school every day, which is what I wanted.

You're lucky if you get to see them at all

We walk round in a few minutes.

We are 1.30hrs away from DS and his x2 daughter. Wish they were closer, as our DD only lives 5 mins away, we pick up her little lad a couple of times a week, for his evening meal the joy on his face when we are waiting for him at school is priceless, our GD's are missing out. What's worse our DIL mum lives in the USA, so she only occasionally get to see them.

By the way we have 3 grandchildren the other side of our own small town.

We see them nearly the same.

We are the 35/45 minutes away.
I think it's perfect.

Everyone is busy but it still feels very close.
We see them fairly often and can help out if they need it... and they can help us out too.

One granddaughter is 5 minutes away by car and the other 2 are 200 miles away.

I wish they were closer, as we don't have as a close relationship with them as we would like.

I’m 30/40 minutes away from both my DDs and families. As others have said, they both lead their own lives and have their own list of priorities. As I’m fit and mobile, I’m somewhere down the list!
I see much more of DD2 (disabled) and DGS2 than I do of DD1 - usually a couple of times a week and have her Little Dog from time to time. However, I’m at DD1’s school this week to see him in concert. I can offer a lot, but just do what I’m asked - seems to work for us.

We have ended living, not close to our grandchildren, who are now flying the nest anyway, but a 5 minute drive from single daughter. Despite that we do not live in each other's pockets.

She is at hand in an emergency, but otherwise we speak on the phone on occasion, whatsapp a lot and meet up, at least briefly, most weeks, but not all.

BlueBelle

One in NZ (30 hours door to door) one in Europe a 3 hour journey to the airport an hour and a half flight and a hour the other side ( plus lots of hanging around) and then one nearby
It is what it is

Yes!!

Hi' Foxglovesandroses, I think I would want the 'buffer' to be the other way and move 10 mins rather than the 35 mins if the chance arose. So very much easier for helping out with school pick ups, babysitting and meet ups.
I think the 'living your own life' comes down (on both sides of course) to being clear about expectations and discussing things, rather than the actual amount of miles.
Personally I'd live next door and put a tiny gate in the fence for someone to crawl in for cuddles

You can “live your own life” wherever you are surely? One of my DDs lives 5 doors away in the same street, we see her and partner ( no kids) quite frequently passing by, but sit and have a chat maybe once a fortnight. One DS lives a 5 minute walk away , we see them far more as we do school pickups regularly for their little ones. One DS lives 15 minutes away , they have teenagers doing exams so we maybe see them once a month for a cuppa, same for eldest DD , 1,5 hours drive away with teenagers at uni and all have busy lives, as do we.

Thank you everyone, I might have confused people with my post though.
Magenta8 sorry I don't think my question was very clear.
What I mean is I currently live 5 and 6 hours away from my adult children and grandchildren. We are planning on moving closer and have our house on the market.
I would like to live 20 and 35 mins away from our daughters due to this town ticking all our boxes.
My husband is in agreement but is also slightly swayed by moving just 10 mins away from them.
Does anyone have experience of living 30 to 40 mins drive away?
Does this prove to be an advantage because it means you have a bit of a buffer so you can also live your own life as well as enjoy your grandchildren?